


Into the Great Wide Open

by Cobalt Greywalker (The_Fenspace_Collective), Mal-3 (The_Fenspace_Collective), Rob Kelk (The_Fenspace_Collective), The_Fenspace_Collective



Category: Fenspace
Genre: Fenspace - Freeform, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2007-06-29
Updated: 2008-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-01 03:07:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 39,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fenspace_Collective/pseuds/Cobalt%20Greywalker, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fenspace_Collective/pseuds/Mal-3, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fenspace_Collective/pseuds/Rob%20Kelk, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fenspace_Collective/pseuds/The_Fenspace_Collective





	1. Seeking Men For Hazardous Voyage...

**From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (fnord@sovietairforce.fen)  
 **To:** nntp://fen.biz.hiring.announce, https://post.craigslist.org/fen/  
 **Subject:** Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work  
 **Date Posted:** June 30th, 2013

Ladies and gentlefen,

The Soviet Air Force is hiring experienced pilots, engineers and others for a 2013-14 expedition to Delta Pavonis. This will be an extended interstellar voyage, running approximately 15 days in FTL each way, with a minimum of six weeks in the Delta Pavonis system.

Applicants should be physically & psychologically prepared for an extended absense from Earth and Fenspace & must be able to deal with mundanes on a daily basis. Interstellar experience is not required. Applicants will not need their own spacecraft, although small vehicles may be brought along if there is room on the tender.

Applications should be sent to recruitment@sovietairforce.fen for consideration. Any application going to other USSRAF accounts will not be considered. Candidates will be contacted within the next four weeks for interview at our Kandor City facility.

I wish to thank all applicants in advance for their courage and devotion to expanding the realm of human understanding.

Colonel Malaclypse Fnord  
Commander-in-Chief, Soviet Air Force

* * *

 **Subject:** [smof-politics] Notice of Sabbatical  
 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Reply-To:** smof-politics@smofcon.fen  
 **Date:** 6/30/2013 7:12 PM  
 **To:** undisclosed-recipients  
 **Cc:** 2501@globalfrequency.fen, deechan@sovietairforce.fen

Okay gang, by now I'm sure you've seen the advertisement I posted to fen.biz. Those of you with connections earthside have probably also seen the ads we've taken out in damn near every university paper in the developed world. To make a long story short, the Soviet Air Force is going out on an interstellar voyage.

Before you lot all start in with the wailing & gnashing of teeth about abandoning the fight, hear me out. Read first, yell later.

The whole "Soviet Air Force" thing started as a *gag*, remember. It was a way to keep our ship happy and provided us with an excuse to play dressup with old Russian uniforms. We had no intention of actually being soldiers; we were tourists with masters' degrees for chrissake! So when the war hit, and like good little citizens we joined the defences, we were caught completely by surprise.

More to the point, the excitement of the last couple months is finally starting to get to me. Between the war in general, Haruhi and her antics, the counter-Haruhi antics, and everything else I've gotten... well, I suppose "burnt out" is the best description. I need to get away from war and politics and Haruhi before I snap and make a dumb decision that gets people killed, or burn all my bridges with my fellow SMOFs, the factions, and even dirtside.

So, this voyage. We do our best work going interstellar, and this time we're going to do it in style. I've been negotiating with the National Geographic Society to operate under their banner, we'll have a multi-ship fleet instead of just Ptichka, and... well, I'll let the surprises fall where they may. ;)

As for us abandoning the fight, don't worry about that. After due consideration (and multiple pitchers of XXXX) we've decided that the Soviet Air Force needs to grow into its name. As we expand, we'll divide the force into two wings, the Exploration Wing and the Defence Wing. The Defence Wing, which *also* has some surprises to make, will remain in Fenspace, providing fire support to GREAT JUSTICE (or whatever ends up replacing it) until the Boskone threat is eliminated.

While I'm gone (right now we're planning on leaving shortly after Labor Day, and not being back until after the new year) all military-related material should be directed at Col. KJ, our newly-minted Chief of Defence Operations. In the likely event that KJ is not in a position to take calls, you can contact his loyal adjutant (St. Gus help us) Dee through the VVS gateway.

The expedition will be interwave capable, so it's not like I'm going to be completely cut off from Fenspace. Still, it's like a two and a half hour round-way trip even for interwave comms. So if you need me to consult on something, make damn sure it's not time-critical.

That's the news from Soviet Kandor. If you're still pissed about something, let me know so I can explain, mock or ignore as needed. Otherwise, I've got stuff to take care of. Catch you on the flipside.

\--Not Nathan Fillion


	2. Those Who Seek Enlightenment

**Subject:** Re: Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work  
 **From:** Sora Hasegawa (sora@stellvia.lib)  
 **To:** recruitment@sovietairforce.fen  
 **Date:** 7/01/2013 9:20 AM

  
Gentlebeings,

Please find attached my application and resum for an engineering position in your Exploration Wing. I am skilled in life-support and drive engineering, and have experience repairing Interwave and other communications technology. Also, I am fluent in both English and Japanese.

Should you require a reference, please contact Noah Scott at big-cheese@stellvia.lib.

  
Sora Hasegawa

  
(Attached: sora-hasegawa-resume.txt)

* * *

 **From:** kirk.teller@amberstaracademy.venus  
 **Reply-to:** kirk.teller@amberstaracademy.venus; tabby.small@amberstaracademy.venus  
 **To:** recruitment@sovietairforce.fen  
 **Subject:** RE: Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work  
 **Date:** 1 July 2013

Sirs,

We are Kirk Teller and Tabitha Small and we would appreciate your consideration for any available position in your expedition. While we are still students at Amberstar Academy we believe you will find the attached transcripts to show an excellent work ethic and useful knowledge.

I, Kirk, enjoy both programming and cooking. Attached is a program I wrote in the last month that attempts to identify constellations in images and a recipe for my own variation on Peppered Chicken and Fettuccine Alfredo. Also attached is are letters of reference from two of my instructors and Melissa Sharp of the former Crystal Osaka Food Crop Test Labs.

Tabitha has received high marks in astronomy and maths and has been a member for two years of the Crystal Kyoto Hydroponic Garden Club. Attached are letters of reference as well as Tabitha's most recent research paper for astronomy which compares articles on gamma-ray bursts published in the last seven years to prior publications concluding that handwavium has not had an impact on research into this subject.

We are well aware that we qualify only for junior positions in your expedition. However we would be honored to serve in any capacity.

* * *

 **Subject:** Re: Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work  
 **From:** KJ (2501@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** Mal (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Date:** 7/01/2013 11:43 AM

Hey bossman... crap, I'm a Colonel now? Oh well, sure, why not. Obviously somewhat in the middle of stuff, but love to go otherwise. Not the same, y'know? Next time.

Dee wants to send a her or two along, if you'd be amenable. I think she was working on the fullsized one, but haven't asked if it's done or not yet. Anyway, lemme know if you want her sending a formal application or somesuch.

Ack, meatspace calls. Later.

-KJ

* * *

 **Subject:** Re: Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work  
 **From:** Mal (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** KJ (2501@globalfrequeny.fen)  
 **Date:** 1 July 2013 12:20 PM

I'd offer my congratulations, but somehow I don't think you'd appreciate them.

In all honesty, I'd sleep sounder if I knew you were minding my engines, but at the same time you're the only other person on the crew who's as deep into OGJ as I am. If I'm leaving for three months, you're the obvious person to keep our irons in the fire while I'm gone.

Shad and Calc are staying behind; Calc'll mind the home office, and I'm seconding Shad to you for the duration. I recommend letting him whip Azu Squadron into shape as they start coming online, he's good at that. Otherwise, you've got command of our robot death squads, so use 'em well.

Re: Dee... I'm willing to bring one of her along, but there's no way in hell I'm letting Action-Figure!Dee aboard any of the ships. There's weird and then there's Weird, and Action-Figure!Dee is too Weird to have running around loose with so many mundanes on board. Tell here fullsize, AI or not at all. If she agrees, I'll probably have her as chief engineer on Special Project #1 (assuming the damned thing is ready on time).

\--Mal

* * *

 **Subject:** Re: Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work  
 **From:** Dee (deechan@sovietairforce.fen)  
 **To:** Mal (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Date:** 7/01/2013 12:37 PM

Yes, I'm reading over KJ's shoulder... so to speak.

Anyway, I can do fullsize; the Mk.1 body's done. Mostly human... ah, you've seen the avatars and whatnot. The fact that it looks cyber isn't really apparent when wearing long shirt and pants, if it's important. Odd eye colors, but programmable they are. I'll blend in as much as ye want me to.

I would like to take one or two of the Troyers if possible; they come in no end of help with tight spaces and whatnot, or just an extra pair of hands. They're actually remote controlled only, it just doesn't look that way sometimes... and believe it or not, I only really try to weird out you guys with them. If needed, I can reconfigure to a basic ball-with-manipulators look for them... or leave 'em. Again, your call.

I am bringing a "ship" of my own though... don't worry, it's small enough to fit in Ptichka. You'll see.

-D

* * *

 **From:** Maj. Amy O'Connell (A_OConnell@tsab.usaf.mil)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** RE: Delta Pavonis Expedition  
 **Date Posted:** 2 July 2013

Colonel Fnord - After much discussion, the United States Air Force has decided to offer the services of two of our science specialists to your expedition.

Doctor Marie Cabot is a space-sciences specialist with extensive systems engineering background; she would be well suited to assist in your engineering department when not busy with astrometrics.

Doctor Simon Alvers has degrees in astrophysics and meteorology, he has just finished an extensive project surveying Jupiter's Great Red Spot (I've attached a copy of his paper for your perusal, should you not have come across it previously). He is very interested in participating in the survey of any planetary bodies you may discover, particularly should they have an atmosphere worthy of meteorological study.

We will provide them with a small support staff and appropriate equipment, as well as a Federal funding grant to support their inclusion in your expedition. Copies of the personnel jackets for the proposed team are attached; the file encryption password is the code-name you used during Operation Zig.

[ ](http://www.fenspace.net/index.php5?title=File:TSAB_logo.png)

Maj. Amy O'Connell, PhD  
United States Air Force  
Transrationality Scientific Analysis Bureau  
Space Station Benjamin Franklin  
A_McConnel@tsab.usaf.mil

* * *

 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** Maj. Amy O'Connel (A_OConnel@tsab.usaf.mil)  
 **Cc:** jagohg@research.unimelb.edu.au, mira@casa.colorado.edu, deltapavonis@ap.stmarys.ca  
 **Subject:** RE: Delta Pavonis Expedition  
 **Date Posted:** 2 July 2013

Major McConnel,

The expedition's scientific contingent is not being assembled through the Soviet Air Force. It is a joint effort through the University of Melbourne, the University of Colorado-Boulder and St. Mary's Univeristy, Halifax. I have forwarded Dr. Cabot and Dr. Alvers' CVs to the respective expedition heads. If they fit available slots, they will be contacted.

As for our landing craft, Ptichka and two other primary vehicles will be capable of surface operations under normal conditions. We have also designed & built several light orbital/low-g landing craft based loosely on the Flight Design CTsw.

Col. Malaclypse Fnord  
Commander-in-Chief, Soviet Air Force

* * *

 **From:** Maj. Amy O'Connell (A_OConnell@tsab.usaf.mil)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** RE: Delta Pavonis Expedition  
 **Date Posted:** 2 July 2013

Colonel Fnord;
    
    
    > The expedition's scientific contingent is not being
    > assembled through the Soviet Air Force. It is a joint
    > effort through the University of Melbourne, the University
    > of Colorado-Boulder and St. Mary's Univeristy, Halifax. I
    > have forwarded Dr. Cabot and Dr. Alvers' CVs to the
    > respective expedition heads. If they fit available slots,
    > they will be contacted.
    

This is understood and appreciated by the scientific staff; it was Colonel SITM Caldwell who insisted that we notify you first as mission commander. I'd love to go myself, but I've got too much to do here - maybe next trip out.
    
    
    > As for our landing craft, Ptichka and two other primary
    > vehicles will be capable of surface operations under
    > normal conditions. We have also designed & built several
    > light orbital/low-g landing craft based loosely on the
    > Flight Design CTsw.
    

Glad to hear it. We have some folk who've been toying with pure-hardtech designs (obviously) for landing and survey craft with variable geometry to adapt to differing atmospheres; we've carried out several local tests but we'd love to see them tried out-system. Would you be willing to take a couple of prototypes along? We've got them fitted out as remote-operated UAVs right now with a good set of survey gear.... If you're interested, drop us a line.

[ ](http://www.fenspace.net/index.php5?title=File:TSAB_logo.png)

Maj. Amy O'Connell, PhD  
United States Air Force  
Transrationality Scientific Analysis Bureau  
Space Station Benjamin Franklin  
A_McConnel@tsab.usaf.mil

* * *

 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** Maj. Amy O'Connel (A_OConnel@tsab.usaf.mil)  
 **Subject:** RE: Delta Pavonis Expedition  
 **Date Posted:** 2 July 2013
    
    
    > This is understood and appreciated by the scientific staff;
    > it was Colonel SITM Caldwell who insisted that we notify you
    > first as mission commander. I'd love to go myself, but I've
    > got too much to do here - maybe next trip out.
    

Of course. Perhaps next time your superior will check with his superiors regarding protocol before making another generous offer.
    
    
    > Would you be willing to take a couple of prototypes along?
    > We've got them fitted out as remote-operated UAVs right now
    > with a good set of survey gear.... If you're interested,
    > drop us a line.
    

Unfortunately, between our own hardware, the science team's hardware, Federation prototypes and the documentary crew we are already overburdened with equipment, despite travelling with seven elephants. I am afraid we'll have to pass on your offer.

Col. Malaclypse Fnord  
Commander-in-Chief, Soviet Air Force

* * *

 **From:** fnord@sovietairforce.fen  
 **To:** kirk.teller@amberstaracademy.venus, tabby.small@amberstaracademy.venus  
 **Cc:** student.office@amberstaracademy.venus, jagohg@research.unimelb.edu.au, mira@casa.colorado.edu  
 **Subject:** Re: Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013

Mr. Teller and Ms. Small,

As the both of you are students, I cannot in good conscience consider your application as members of the Soviet Air Force. This is the part of the program where I would normally spout all sorts of platitudes about the importance of education, but I'm sure you've heard them all before so we'll skip it.

However, in light of your academic credentials, I am willing to consider you both as part of the non-VVS scientific contingent. I have forwarded your application to the heads of the mundane science team, Dr. Miranda Delgado at the University of Colorado-Boulder, and Dr. Henry Jago at the University of Melbourne. If they agree, you will have the opportunity to join either the CU or UMelbourne science teams as nominal undergraduates.

Expect to hear from myself, Dr. Delgado or Dr. Jago within the next week regarding their decision.

Col. Malaclypse Fnord  
Commander-in-Chief, Soviet Air Force

* * *

 **Subject:** Re: Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work  
 **From:** fnord@sovietairforce.fen  
 **To:** sora@stellvia.lib  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013

Ms. Hasegawa,

Please reply with the first date you would be available for an interview at our Kandor City facility.

Col. Malaclypse Fnord  
Commander-in-Chief, Soviet Air Force

* * *

 **Subject:** Hasegawa  
 **From:** Mal (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** Noah (big-cheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013

Just for my own peace of mind, you didn't alienate yet another female, did you?

\--Mal

* * *

 **Subject:** Re: Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work  
 **From:** sora@stellvia.lib  
 **To:** fnord@sovietairforce.fen  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013

I am available for an interview immediately; my current employer has been kind enough to waive the normal notice period for my resignation.

Thank you for considering my application.

Sora Hasegawa

* * *

 **Subject:** Re: Hasegawa  
 **From:** Noah (big-cheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **To:** Mal (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013
    
    
    > Just for my own peace of mind, you didn't alienate yet another female, did you?
    

No, this wasn't anything I did. I wish it was...

Sora's still not completely over last month. (The memorial service didn't really help her.) She needs to get away from everything that brings back old memories, and that's where you're going.

If you do hire her, Mal, please do me a favor: don't show her any special consideration. I love Sora like a daughter - hell, she is my daughter in all but blood - but that doesn't mean you have to.

Noah

* * *

 **Subject:** Interview  
 **From:** fnord@sovietairforce.fen  
 **To:** sora@stellvia.lib  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013

If you're immediately available for interview, then there's no point in delaying it. Is 1100 Kandor time tomorrow acceptable? If so, we'll be interviewing at Korolev Air Base, on the outer wall near the west gate. We're in MapQuest if you need more thorough directions.

Bring a copy of your CV (not that we actually *need* one, but it's SOP) and your game face. If the interview goes well enough, we'll jump straight into operational planning once you've signed yourself over to us.

If you aren't available for the suggested time, suggest another one and we'll work around it.

Col. Malaclypse Fnord (who's gonna have to bump his rank to MGen soon enough)  
Commander-in-Chief, Soviet Air Force

* * *

 **Subject:** Re: Hasegawa  
 **From:** Mal (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** Noah (big-cheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013
    
    
    > Sora's still not completely over last month. (The memorial
    > service didn't really help her.) She needs to get away
    > from everything that brings back old memories, and that's
    > where you're going.
    

Hm. That's information I needed to hear, and probably wasn't going to get from her.
    
    
    > If you do hire her, Mal, please do me a favor: don't show
    > her any special consideration. I love Sora like a daughter
    > - hell, she is my daughter in all but blood - but that
    > doesn't mean you have to.
    

We'll see. On paper she's one of the top five applicants so far, and I've got three positions she'd be good for. With what you've told me, well... we'll see.

\--Mal, wondering when the VVS became the Legion Etrangre Spatiales

* * *

 **From:** K.Schrodinger (schroedinger@trigon.gov)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work  
 **Timestamp:** 03072013

Mal, there's been a bit of an issue over here, apparently soon as your call hit the ether. Thing is, I didn't exactly figure it out 'till now, so ... um ... don't shoot the black-and-white checkered teardrop hull that's likely to show up at the gathering point.

Apparently, Harley's discovered her wanderlust. It's just that she did so when we put her to running that drone carrier testbed we've been trying to get operational.The good news is, we got it working, the bad news is, she nabbed the prototype, reasearch data and all, so I'd be very much in your debt if you do not, I repeat, _do not_ blast it out of space. Despite the hyena laugh. Please?

See attached databite for recorded operational specifics.

-K.Schrodinger

Attach: SS Killing Joke.txt

* * *

 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** K.Schrodinger (schroedinger@trigon.gov)  
 **Subject:** ...you've gotta be kidding me.  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013

What the hell is it with you and runaway AIs, anyway?

...On second thought, I probably don't want to know the answer to that.

We really don't need or want a dedicated engine of death on the expedition. However, we *could* use a good C&C AI. We've got a bird in the final stages of conversion, but it looks like it won't have an integrated AI. How embedded is Harley into your new toy's subsystems? If she can hotswap I'm willing to bring her aboard, otherwise no dice.

\--Mal

* * *

 **From:** Elena Vangeek (susan@sovietairforce.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** If there's still room  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013

Hey boss man.

I know I'm late in the game, but I'm tired of just running shipments for folks and hiding from Boskones. Gods, y'know the other day I running some ore and had to pull a Han Solo on this ship...anyways. As you can tell, I ain't cut out for this stuff. I know I'm a half decent pilot, but I don't know if my skills are more needed here or with you guys. If you still need a hand, pilot, cook, I'm available.

I mean, what else am I going to do?

* * *

 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** Elena Vangeek (susan@sovietairforce.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: If there's still room  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013

Well, you know as well as I do this is the big test for the expansion project. We've got to prove that we can *do* this, instead of being "just" a gaggle of freaky movie people.

That said... combat-wise, most of KJ's projects are built to be AI-only (shock, horror), so there's not much room for a pilot there. And with four ships in the expedition fleet we're going to need a fair number of people...

Here's the deal. If you want, I'll get you the left-hand seat slot on the Series of Unlikely Explanations or the Xenu Express. That'll be a pretty basic busdriver's job like what you've been doing with P the last couple months. If you're willing to step up and take some more responsibility, though, I'll be willing to let you prove yourself as commander on Special Project #1.

Your call, Lena. Think it over & we'll talk about it once you're back in Kandor.

\--Mal

* * *

 **From:** K.Schrodinger (schroedinger@trigon.gov)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** RE: ...you've gotta be kidding me.  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013

Well, at least she hasn't tried to go Kill It With Fire on anything ... yet. I think I'm heading in the right direction.

Also, oi! I'll have you know the KJ is a perfectly adaptable multi-role craft, and the PEEBOs do great as an extension to the basic sensor grid as well as in other roles. The combat applications were mostly crammed in ... well ... because we could.

Anyway, yeah, hotswap should be possible. We mostly had Harley in there to help with the fiddly details of finishing the drive before she claimed the whole thing for her own. As long as you can crazyglue her Solid onto whatever drive your bird gets fitted with, she should be able to access things without any trouble.

You'd have to talk to her about whether or not she'd be willing, though given the fact that she was ready to just go off like this, I'm thinking she'll give you an 'aye'.

-Katz

* * *

 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen  
 **To:** K.Schrodinger (schroedinger@trigon.gov)  
 **Subject:** ...you've gotta be kidding me.  
 **Date:** 3 July 2013

Hotswapping Harley shouldn't be a problem as long as the AI hub isn't too inconvenient. We've got a couple avonics bays that should fit a standard sized Solid no problems, just plug in a 220V and some fiber lines to the main systems.

Comm Harley & let her know the score for me, wouldya? When she gets here I'll send Dee out with to extract her, and you can pick up your new toy in lunar orbit.

\--Mal

* * *

 **From:** Elena Vangeek (susan@sovietairforce.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: If there's still room  
 **Date:** 4 July 2013

I'd be glad to take the left hand slot, boss, if that's where you need me. As to more responsibility...well, yeah. I guess we'd have to talk about it when I get back. I do know I'm too scared to even think of myself as a commander, but I also know I'd do my damned best. Even though I'll probably always be a civvie at heart.

Cheers,

B

* * *

 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** Elena Vangeek (susan@sovietairforce.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: If there's still room  
 **Date:** 4 July 2013

*shrug* We're short-staffed when it comes to people I'm willing to trust to be in charge. Shad, Calc & KJ are staying behind to fulfill our obligations to OGJ, I'll be on P and Kat & Zib are riding with the Canadian contingent. As much as I'd like to have the family all on one ship, that's just not in the cards. Four people (and one married couple), four ships...

Like I said, think it over. Actually... I've got an interview for KJ's replacement on P coming up in a bit. How close to port are you guys right now?

\--Mal

* * *

 **From:** Elena Vangeek (susan@sovietairforce.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: If there's still room  
 **Date:** 4 July 2013

Well, if you need me, I'm there. I can be in Kandor in a few hours, by the way, if I break out the pixie sticks. Don't worry, Ptchika's chirping that she'll keep an eye on me.

I'll be right over, Bossman,

B

* * *

 **Subject:** re: Last Minute Adjustments  
 **from:** LJG (vulpinefury@paragoncity.fen)  
 **to:** Dee (deechan@sovietairforce.fen)  
05JULY2013 22:17 GMT

How is your face working for you? I hope the most recent adjustments we made will serve you better in overcoming the "uncanny valley." Honestly, my puppets never have that much trouble... Anyway, I hope we have everything cleared by your OS for general interaction. Trust me, some of the "wasted motion" you were worried about will help prevent the "toaster" jokes. You should have control over the percentages on that anyway.

You should have several settings now for your "unconscious facial mannerisms."

0: Fake. No attempt made to hide the artifce of your visage, worst Uncanny Valley response. I'd recommend only using this alone, with people you know well, or if you need to play possum.

1: Animatronic. From a distance, better response than 0. On par with a well-run Hardtech Disney attraction.

2: Henson. Midpoint response from us meat-bags. You'd look like a virtuoso puppet performance by a master of his craft. Well, Dirtside, if you disallow the Wave. This is acceptable in general, as most folks won't twig to something being off unless they're observant.

3: Soong. This setting will put you on par with a good human actor pretending to be a robot. Should get you props from the Trekkies if you don't mind them knowing what this algorithm is called.

4: Pinocchio. At this point most folks' response to meeting you will be akin to meeting a full conversion Cyborg whose only remaining "meat" is what we've created. Exactly what you wanted to achieve. You should be able to pass for full human in the right clothes. This setting DOES use up biomimetic material that can be replenished by "eating." WHAT you eat isn't important as long as its organic in the purely chemistry sense. And don't forget to drink to replenish your tear and sweat "glands."

As per your request, I've bundled a hardcopy and flashdrive of repair specs for your face along with a sample of the custom strain of goop. It likes anything sung by a Muppet, "When You Wish Upon a Star," and the Nutcracker Suite.

Your Captain should have the items before your departure. Good luck, and come back in as few pieces as are comfortable.

\----- Vulpine Fury's Puppetworks --------  
Bleeding Edge 'Wavium Animatronics since 2011  
2004 Atlas Park Drive, Kandor City, Luna

* * *

 **Subject:** re: Last Minute Adjustments  
 **from:** Dee (deechan@sovietairforce.fen)  
 **to:** LJG (vulpinefury@paragoncity.fen)  
05JULY2013 22:37 GMT

The OS interaction seem to be working pretty well... thanks again for your work on this. After the discussion on the "wasted motion" mannerisms, I'd been trying to see what I could come up with in emulation on my own. Some success, maybe most of the way to what you called the "Henson" level (as an aside, I have to approve of the labels) but... well, only so far you can get through observation maybe?

At any rate, the "Soong" and full "Pinnochio" levels are excellent, and given what Mal has mentioned by way of mundanes being along is going to come in handy. Getting in the habit of eating and drinking will likely take a little getting used to, but that could well be fun in and of itself.

Thank you again for your magnificent work, and I'll try to keep to the normal number of pieces.

-D

* * *

 **From:** kirk.teller@amberstaracademy.venus  
 **To:** fnord@sovietairforce.fen  
 **Subject:** RE: Welcome to the Delta Pavonis Expedition  
 **Date:** 5 July 2013

We're confirming transportation now. Thank you for your congratulations, I shall endevour to maintain that honor.

I already picked out what I considered bare essential supplies. I seem to have almost a kilo free at the moment, but supplies always expand to fill allowances so I am sure something will sneak into my bag before I leave.

  
K. Teller

* * *

 **From:** tabby.small@amberstaracademy.venus  
 **To:** fnord@sovietairforce.fen  
 **Subject:** RE: Welcome to the Delta Pavonis Expedition  
 **Date:** 6 July 2013

I understand there is a desire to avoid freaking the danes on this mission. However through some fast talking I have secured the opportunity, should it be agreeable, to take our transport with us. We have been provided with a Sunflower to use as a lander since the ship we have secured room on is heading for Earth rather than the moon. I'm sure you already have access to the information on the Sunflowers, but I have included a link to the Neo Tokyo Shipyard's page about them. The one we will have can store solar energy, but does have a fondness for Strawberry Pocky. If there is insufficient space, or it does not look like a good match for the mission it will be no problem to arrange for it to be picked up by someone else.

Tabitha Small

* * *

 **From:** fnord@sovietairforce.fen  
 **To:** tabby.small@amberstaracademy.venus  
 **Subject:** Sunflower  
 **Date:** 6 July 2013

Regarding your personal transport, we'll have to see how our final space considerations shake out. If we end up with enough room, we'll take it. If not, feel free to keep it in storage at Korolev until we get back. That's no hardship at all, we're planning on maintaining a parking garage for most of our new hires.

\--Col. Fnord


	3. First Impressions

**Kandor City, Luna**  
 **July 4, 2013**  
  
The light rail train slowed to a halt out in the middle of nowhere, halfway between the spaceport and where the city began. "This is the Korolev Local station," declared the prerecorded conductor. "Passengers must remember to take all belongings with them when they exit. Next stop, Old Town/Question Alley."

Sora Hasegawa stepped off the empty train and waited for it to close up and continue on its long route around the perimeter of Kandor City. The station she had arrived at barely existed, composed of simply a wide spot of concrete with inadequate shelter hastily erected over it. A lonely service road trailed off away from the station towards the crater's edge.

Sora looked at the road, then back out at the wide open space under the Kandor dome. She watched the mixture of gray and green for a few seconds, then with an almost imperceptible shrug she turned and began the long walk up the road to Korolev.

As she approached the base, it became obvious to Sora that whatever she had expected from the Soviet Air Force-In-Exile, Korolev Air Force Base wasn't it. From the outside, the base wasn't very exciting.

In fact, it was downright depressing.

The base was made up of six concrete blocks, each one a shade of gray that blended into the exposed regolith, clustered around a flagpole at the center of a patchy lawn that seemed to be more scrub brush than grass. Each building had windows covered with tinted lunar glass, adding a sinister intent to the brutalist architecture. A small greenhouse sat off alongside the road, overstuffed with plants. Behind the concrete buildings a huge prefabricated warehouse backed up to the crater rim. The rim itself loomed over the entire complex like a stone tsunami , a near-vertical wall two kilometers high. At the very top of the wall Sora could dimly make out the gleaming copper support for the Kandor dome.

Korolev AFB screamed of rampant, malignant mundanity. Only the front gate showed any real sign of fen character, a high wrought-aluminum monster with a crudely hand-painted sign reading "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!!" tastefully hung at a cockeyed angle.

(Had Sora known at the time what that was a reference to, she might have had second thoughts about her interview. Thankfully, she didn't think to ask until it was much too late. But we digress, and too early in this tale to boot. Onward.)

Sora pushed the gate open; it moved easily and soundlessly. The base seemed to be deserted at first glance, there were no signs of life except the wind, no sounds other than the sullen snapping of the flag at the heart of the base. "This is a little spooky," she said to herself.

"Who's there?" called a sing-song voice from right behind her. Sora jumped and whirled towards the source. Behind her - where before there was just lunar rock and grass - a white oblong turret popped up, staring at Sora with an unblinking eye. "Who's there?" the turret called again.

"Um, hello?" Sora ventured hesitantly.

"Can I help you?" The turret's childish voice seemed to be tuned to just the right frequency as to be utterly unreassuring.

"Is.. is this the administration building?" Sora asked.

The turret swiveled slightly. "Next building," it said. "Building One, just ahead."

"Oh," said Sora. "Well, thank you."

"You're welcome. Nighty-night," sang the turret, and it vanished back into the ground.

Sora blinked. "Okay, more than a little spooky," she said. She turned and hurried along the road to the building the weird little turret had pointed out, feeling _very_ aware that no matter how abandoned the base may have seemed, _somebody_ was watching.

Reaching the door without further incident, Sora steeled herself for any more creepy weirdness and stepped inside. What she found was less openly foreboding than the base's exterior. The lobby's walls were mostly bare concrete, though somebody had take the time to decorate them with a combination of outlandish Soviet propaganda posters and photographs from all over the solar system. Sora looked at one on the far wall, recognizing a shot of Crystal Seattle looming out of the Venusian acid fog. The floor was carpeted, and tasteful-yet-inexpensive furniture was scattered about.

Aside from the choice of wall decorations, the interior looked just as mundane as the exterior. And to top it all off, once again the building seemed to be deserted. Sora took a few more steps into the lobby, looking around for a receptionist, a security guard or _somebody_ whom she could ask directions.

"Hello?" she asked the empty air.

"Hello and welcome to Korolev Air Force Base," said a voice above her. Sora looked up and saw a speaker grilled set into the ceiling next to hemispherical security camera. "We hope that you had a pleasant trip on board the Kandor City Rail network and are now ready to begin the computer-aided testing. If you are not here for the computer-aided testing," continued the voice, "please sit down in the relaxation cubicle while we prepare the forms needed for you to begin the computer-aided testing. An official induction team will be here shortly to escort you to the testing facility."

This wasn't the welcome she'd expected at all. "Excuse me?"

"The Soviet Air Force is pleased to note that the computer-aided testing is entirely safe and fun for the entire family."

"I'm not here for testing," protested Sora. "I've got an interview with Colonel Fnord."

"Any and all appointments with human resources will be taken care of after all testing procedures have been completed."

"But!"

"The Soviet Air Force reminds you that android hell is a _real_ place where you _will_ be sent at the first sign of defiance," the voice said sternly.

Sora stared at the security monitor, flabbergasted. She hadn't been inside the building for more than a few minutes, and she was harassed by a defective answering machine! "Excellent," warbled the speaker. "Please assume the test subject escort position and wait quietly for the induction tea-"

" _GLADOS!_ " A new voice snapped. Sora looked down and saw Mal Fnord standing in the far doorway, scowling at the speaker.

"(Uh-oh,)" muttered GLaDOS.

"Are you trying to shanghai people into your experiments again?" Mal said.

There was a faint crackle of static, then GLaDOS' voice came back. "There was going to be cake," she said sheepishly.

Mal wasn't convinced. "We've had this discussion before dammit," he growled.

GLaDOS synthesized a huge, world-weary sigh. "All right, all right," she said. "As part of a required base protocol, we can no longer lie to you. Any scientific testing done on the facilities is strictly voluntary - for non-trespassers - and only lethal 60% of the time. Sign up sheets are available in the mail room. Thank you and have a pleasant day." The speaker chimed out, leaving behind an embarrassed Mal and a Sora who was trending between confused and slightly indignant.

Mal smiled weakly. "I'm very sorry that happened," he said. "Every so often she tries to recruit test subjects for her little projects. She means well, or at least she means _something._ Shouldn't happen again, though."

"Colonel," Sora started to say something pleasant, but her experiences of the past few minutes overrode her sense of decorum and she blurted out "what _was_ that? And what was with the creepy little robot I met out front?"

"To answer the second question first," said Mal, "the creepy little robot was part of the security system. They're friendly enough if you're on the guest list. And GLaDOS is, well... she's GLaDOS. Easy enough to get along with as long as you compensate for her, um, foibles."

The speaker chimed. "You know I can hear everything you say," GLaDOS remarked. Mal made a rude gesture towards the camera. "And I saw that!"

Sora blinked. "I see." She gathered herself up and bowed deeply to Mal. "Forgive my behavior, Colonel. It was very unprofessional of me."

Mal waved off the apology. "No worries, Ms. Hasegawa. Coming from as staid an environment as Stellvia I'd expect a bit of culture shock. Besides, we're not particularly professional around the shop anyway. Now, if you'll follow me, we'll get this interview out of the way."

Mal turned and started walking off down the corridor, Sora following along. The pair walked down corridors covered with more propaganda posters, photographs and in one case a startling collection of graffiti. ("A duplicate of the Wall near Brandenburg Gate," Mal said cheerfully. Sora nodded, filing the unfamiliar reference for googling later.) Finally they reached Mal's office near the top of the building.

Mal took a seat behind his paper-covered desk and motioned for Sora to take the opposite seat. "Sir, I want to thank you for this opportunity," Sora said as she sat down.

"No thanks are necessary," said Mal. "Now, Ms. Hasegawa. I have your resume here-" he waved at the pile of paper "-as well as a stack of very impressive recommendation letters. You're more than qualified for any position that you'd care to have with our faction. So this is going to be a short interview. I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to tell me the truth."

Mal leaned forward. "Why do you want to join?"

Sora thought about it, running through and discarding half a dozen different platitudes. "Well," she said, "I _would_ like to see something new. I've lived on Stellvia all my life, so going to a totally uncharted solar system sounds interesting."

"Among other things," agreed Mal. "I'm sensing a 'but' in there, though."

"But..." Sora hesitated, then seemed to sag a little. "But I really want to get away from things," she half-said, half-mumbled, carefully not look Mal in the eye. "Especially the war. I'm not cut out for war, Noah's in the thick of things and, well, I can't be there."

"So you thought to join the Legion, to forget?" Mal said dryly. Sora blushed, but didn't respond. "Considering that _I'm_ going along on the expedition to avoid dealing with the war," he said, "I can hardly fault your motives. Now, you realize this is a long-term commitment, right? You're not just signing on for the Pavonis expedition, but for the long haul. At least two years, maybe more?"

Sora nodded. "I do, sir. I'm willing to stay with the Soviet Air Force indefinitely"

"I see. Well, we have several positions open for somebody with your skill set. Most of those are in X-COM, so we won't look at those."

"X-COM, sir?"

"New name for the shooty-bomby-hurty wing. We got to name it after the game since nobody else got there first. Every played it?"

"Um, no sir. I've never even heard of a game called X-COM before."

"Huh. Whippersnapper. Anyway, if you're curious we've got a couple copies floating around on the force intranet; you can give it try once we get you settled."

Sora's eyes widened. "Sir? Does this mean I've got the job?"

Mal shrugged. "Like I said, you're more than qualified on paper, and you told me the truth. That's all I need to make a decision. In fact, let's get the preliminaries over with GLaDOS!"

The webcam perched on Mal's computer swiveled. "Yes, O Lord and Master?"

Mal rolled his eyes. "GLaDOS, Ms. Hasegawa has officially joined the Revolution. Be a dear and forge my signature on the appropriate docs then tip them into the appropriate servers, would you kindly?"

"Of course. Nothing brings my life more joy. I'll also order those explosive barrels while I'm at it, just to liven things up around here." GLaDOS chimed out.

"Explosive barrels?" Sora asked.

"Long story," said Mal. "Anyway, while the paperwork gets processed, let's get the billets figured out. On the expedition there are two slots you're qualified best for. Now one of those will require a test before I can make a decision, and we might have to hold off on that for a day or so."

"Not one of GLaDOS' tests, right?"

"Of course not, no matter _how_ happy it'd make her."

As if summoned, the PA chimed. "Attention all base personnel," GLaDOS intoned, "the flagship is now landing at Hangar One. The pilot's lounge will be serving Klatchian Habanero coffee in honor of Captain van Oorebeek's triumphant return. Level one biohazard gear will be available for the weak. That is all, the Soviet Air Force prevails."

Mal looked up, surprised. "Huh!" he said, "I thought she wouldn't be in until tonight! Well, _that_ simplifies things a little." He eyed Sora, who looked back a little confused. "Come on, let's get this over with so we can get you some quarters." Mal stood and left the office, Sora scrambling to her feet behind him and following. They walked out the back of Building 1 and towards the warehouse.

Mal opened a person-sized door in the side of the warehouse and motioned towards the opening. Sora stepped inside, and saw... well, a warehouse. Crates, tanks and aircraft parts were stacked haphazardly around the perimeter, forming a lane between the stacks leading to a double door set into the far wall.

Sora took all this in. "Colonel?" she said. "Where exactly are we going?"

Mal turned to look at her. "Hangar One, of course."

"But I thought that this was Hangar One," she replied.

"What, this? Nah, 's just a warehouse. Storage for junk we get in from the spaceport. Besides, we're on the wrong side of the dome, yeah? Be kinda silly to put a hangar where we can't get to open space." Mal pointed at the doors. "The hangar's on the other side of those doors, in fact."

Sora considered this. "That does make more sense," she said.

When they reached the doors, Mal punched a sequence of numbers into a keypad set into the wall. The doors slid open, revealing a long, well-lit tunnel and a pair of electric golf carts. "And here's the access tunnel. It's a long-assed walk from here to the main entrance, so hop in."

The ride down the tunnel seemed to take forever. There were no real landmarks or even recognizable features to the tunnel, and it felt to Sora like she was speeding through an endless winding tube, almost like Stellvia had been before they'd started decorating.

The thought of Stellvia gave Sora's insides a little twist. No matter what, she was committed at this point. Her whirlwind "interview" with Col. Fnord was obviously mostly a setup. He'd said as much right at the beginning; he'd made a decision before she even got off the train that morning, and he had something specific in mind. Curiosity compelled her to stick around and find out what that was.

The alternative was going back to Stellvia, and she wasn't ready to do that. Not now, maybe not ever and hang her promises.

"Hanging in there?" Mal's question jolted Sora out of her introspection. She looked around; they were still driving through this tunnel which seemed to go on forever.

Sora nodded. "Yes sir. At least I think so. It's been... different from what I expected, though."

Mal chuckled. "A bit disconcerting coming from where you started, I take it?"

"Very much so. Though I'm curious. Is _everything_ here so odd?"

"Odd? Everything? Honestly I don't think so. We're a pretty average operation out here, all things considered."

They turned a corner. A whip cracked and Sora saw four dozen miniature Dees dressed in sackcloth dragging a large equipment pallet down the tunnel in the opposite direction. On top of the pallet another mini-Dee dresses in a toga brandished a whip. "FASTER, DOGS!" the overseer-Dee cackled. "THE PHAROAH DEMANDS IT!"

Sora boggled. "Then again," said Mal, "You might just want to forget I ever said that." Sora nodded dumbly.

"Was... was that Dee?" she asked.

Mal nodded. "That was Dee. Or at least that was part of Dee. She multitasks, you know."

Sora didn't, but she filed that tidbit away. "Was she serious?"

"You know, I've honestly stopped trying to figure that out. She's Dee, that's all that I can say."

"So she's not... well, a slave?"

"You're worried about _that?_ Oh, Xenu no, she's not a slave. _That_ little display was because somebody who shall remain nameless introduced Dee to 'The Ten Commandments' last movie night." Mal shook his head. "And if you think that was weird, yesterday a team of them tried to part the hot tub. Thankfully we put a stop to that before they broke out the maneuvering thrusters."

Sora didn't really have any good reply to that.

The rest of the trip passed quickly and in a somewhat companionable silence. Soon enough they reached their destination, another pair of massive doors. Unlike the plain metal of the upper end, these doors were liberally decorated with warning signs: NONSTANDARD SPACETIME, LIVE ANTIMATTER, SITH FORBIDDEN PAST THIS POINT, ACTIVE NANODEVICES, DIAMONDOID SURFACES, SELF-EVOLVING SYSTEMS, AUTONOMOUS DEVICES. The crowning sign, though, was a single huge safety-orange triangle with a Greek omega in white reflective paint in the center.

Sora took in all these signs with no small amount of apprehension. "Colonel, are all these signs really necessary?"

Mal looked up at the doors. "Not really," he said, "I just wanted **Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate** inscribed on the doors, but I was outvoted."

"Oh," said Sora, unenlightened.

Mal fiddled with a keypad set into the tunnel wall. "I should warn you," he said, "that when we had the hangar built, we kinda went overboard. So things might be a little weird at first."

"Weird?" asked Sora. "I didn't know hangars could be weird?"

Mal smiled mysteriously. "Oh ye of little faith." He finished tapping on the keypad and the doors opened with a clanging sound, swinging outward. "I'm serious about this being a little weird, so let me know if you're getting overweirded, okay?" Sora nodded. "Okay then, as we like to say in the business," Mal drove the cart through the door. "Welcome to the Hole!"

Despite her sheltered upbringing, Sora Hasegawa like to consider herself a well-traveled person. She hadn't been to Earth very often, but she had traveled all over the solar system. She'd seen the fairy-towers of Helium and the labyrinth of docks and hotels in Port Phobos. She'd been to the Crystal Cities and Grover's Corners, and even as far as the Warsie base station at Mimas.

None of that prepared her for what was on the other side of the door.

Mal and Sora drove out onto a wide walkway suspended over the biggest hole in the ground Sora had ever seen. It was a perfect circular borehole, easily half a kilometer across. Sora's dormant agoraphobia leapt to life for a split second, screaming that _nothing_ should be that much empty open air, before the rest of her mind grabbed it and stomped it down with hobnailed boots.

Mal caught Sora's momentary reaction out of the corner of his eye and stopped the cart. "You okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Just surprised is all. Can we stop here for a second?" she asked.

Mad obligingly set the brakes. Sora climbed out of the cart and went to the walkway's edge. Looking down, she could see platforms anchored to the walls, each one the size of a regular hangar and more often than not covered with equipment and crates, like the warehouse on the other side of the crater rim. The platforms were connected by a maze of walkways, guidelines and supports circling and bridging the huge space. Stairways and and open freight elevators ran up and down the long wall.

Looking up, Sora saw something really startling. Above the walkway were the same sorts of platforms reaching up hundreds of meters, but instead of seeing bare metal or structural supports Sora saw stacks of crates and pallets dangling off the underside of the platforms like monstrous stalactites. As she watched, a tank-treaded robot flipped over the edge of the nearest platform, grabbed a crate from one of the underside stacks and hauled the crate back to the topside. It was just like watching any longshoreman working at Port Phobos, except the longshoreman was _upside-down._

Sora tore her gaze away from the activity and looked at Mal. He watched her reaction, keeping his face carefully neutral. "It's amazing!" she exclaimed. "You built all this?"

Mal shook his head. "We drew up the plans, and we paid for it," he said, "but it was the guys who built the Watchtower who did all the heavy lifting. Like I said, we kinda went overboard."

"Amazing," Sora repeated. "How did you manage the platforms? I've never seen anything like that before."

"Sure you have. You grew up on one, if you think about it." Mal motioned towards the platforms. "This is all just basic space station engineering; figure out where you want 'down' to be and then set the gravity gradient We just set it up so we could get more use out each platform."

"I don't think _anybody's_ done anything like this before. And on this _scale,_ too. This is incredible!"

"It's pretty cool," agreed Mal, "but it has drawbacks. As an example, it's so freaking big that it's easy to get lost in, even though it's mostly open space."

Sora gave Mal a look. "Does that mean you don't know where you're going?"

"Well.."

Sora looked out at the hangar while Mal worked on a prevarication. Leaning over the railing to get a better look at the lower platforms, she felt something shift a little under her hands. She pulled back and looked closely at the railing, which seemed to have an odd decorative twist to it. She gave the twisted part an experimental tug, and what she'd initially taken as a carved flourish pulled cleanly away from the rail.

"What are you?" she mumbled as she examined her find. It was a metallic vine, exquisitely detailed with delicate silvery leaves sprouting along it at regular intervals.

"Something wrong?" Mal asked.

Sora held up the vine. "Just looking at this. It's not something I expected to find in an industrial environment"

"Oh, the metal creeper. Yeah, that's everywhere down here. On the rails, hanging off the platforms... in another couple of years it'll probably cover every unused inch of the wall."

"Is it alive?"

Mal shrugged. "We sent a sample to the Jason once, his results came back inconclusive. It's the wave, who the hell _knows_ anymore?"

"Pretty, though."

"If you like that sort of thing, I suppose." Mal gestured to the cart. "Shall we away?"

"I thought you didn't know where we're going?" Sora said as she climbed back into the golf cart.

"Well, sort of," said Mal. "I know where we _need_ to go, but I don't know where that is. So instead we're going to go find the one person who knows where everything is down in the Hole and ask _her._ Then we'll go where we need to and then we can knock off and go have lunch. Does that make sense?"

Sora ran the train of logic through her head. "Sort of," she replied.

"Oh. Huh. Well, it makes sense to _me,_ and I'm the one driving. Onward!" Mal put the cart back into gear and sped off down the walkway.

A minute later, and a third of the way around the Hole from where they had started, Mal steered the cart onto one of the anchored platforms. A gleaming white DC-8 was parked there, the tail overhanging the edge. Work lights and other equipment surrounded the plane.

"Which ship is this?"

"The _Xenu Express_ ," said Mal. "Not quite our shiniest toy, but we love her all the same. We're in the middle of working out the bugs."

"So who are we looking for?"

"I told you; the one person who knows where everything is down here. Our ground chief, Anna, Cal's wife."

Sora's brow furrowed. "Anna? I don't think I ever met an Anna attached to the Soviets."

Mal grinned. "No reason you would've. Anna's one of our homebody contingent, doesn't travel much outside Kandor. Besides, you'd remember her if you'd met before. Anna is very distinctive in her own way."

"Distinctive? How?"

Mal's reply, if any, was cut off by a strong soprano voice cutting through the air. "HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THAT, MORON! THIS SHIT'S EXPENSIVE!"

Mal's grin didn't waver. "That's Anna," he said.

They drove up to the cluster of equipment around the Xenu Express and Sora saw the lights were focused on the port wing. Underneath the wing a collection of industrial robots were holding something that looked like a cross between a jet engine and a lightbulb up to the wing while a stout brown-haired woman directed the action, waving her hands and swearing up a blue streak. Mal whistled for attention, but the woman ignored him in favor of outlining the robots' ancestry, personal habits and political views in great detail. Mal scowled and dug under his seat. "Cover your ears," he whispered to Sora as he pulled out an air horn. Sora had just enough time to do it before Mal let off a long blaring note.

Anna stopped mid-rant and turned to face the source of the noise. Her face shifted from a half-annoyed look to a mocking grin when she saw Mal sitting there in the golf cart. "Bossman, hey!" she said. "Good to see you down here! You lost again?"

"I don't need you giving me shit about this, too," Mal grumbled. "It's too early in the goddamn day for it."

"Too?" Anna glanced over, noticing Sora sitting in the cart. "I see. So who's the jailbait?"

Sora went red. Mal sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Thank you, O Queen of Tact," he mumbled.

Anna just shrugged. "Calling 'em like I see 'em."

"The jailbait, as you oh-so-diplomatically said, is Sora Hasegawa. One of our new conscripts. So _please_ be nice."

"Hasegawa? From Stellvia? I see." Anna turned her full attention on Sora, moving in close so she could loom properly. Sora squirmed a little under her gaze. "I need to know something, Sora Hasegawa from Stellvia," she said. "Are you now, or have you ever been, sexually attracted to short, bearded attorneys?"

Sora blinked, amazed. A small, unprofessional part of her wanted to demand exactly what the _hell_ kind of question that was but the rest of her decided to humor the scary lady and figured the truth was the best answer. "Well..." she said, "I don't have anything against attorneys per se, but I prefer tall and slim men."

Anna held her gaze for a few seconds, then broke out a big smile. "Cool!" she said. "We're gonna be good friends, then!"

"Hey, where is the hobbit anyway?" Mal asked. "He wasn't in the office this morning, and GLaDOS wasn't fuming about lawyers glued to the ceiling again..."

("'Glued to the ceiling?' 'Again?'" Sora mouthed, getting a weird mental image.)

"Oh, he's downtown with the kids today. Hanging out at Question Alley for a bit, then maybe down to the lake to feed the ducks. They'll probably be out late; Jon wanted to stop and watch the fireworks the embassy's firing off tonight."

"Ah, okay. Skiving off for a good cause. Just had to check." Mal paused.

Anna's smile widened and got a little more malicious. "Okay, lost boy, what do you need?"

Mal rolled his eyes. "Where's B parked today?"

"Platform four, they've got the _Series_ spread out over her usual parking spot today." Anna gave Sora another look. "You're gonna?" she asked.

Mal shrugged. "She's qualified, so it can't hurt to try." He looked up at the DC-8. "Big Xenu's coming along nicely, though," he said, giving the hull a once-over. "Although-" he pointed at three small bronze stars painted near the forward hatch, "isn't one of those new?"

Anna nodded. "Yep. Cal got the form yesterday. He sent you a copy, even put it on your desk so you'd notice."

Mal snorted. "Oh come on, you know I don't actually _read_ anything on my desk. If I did that, I'd never get anything done."

"Yeah, yeah," Anna waved off the comment. "Whatever, man. Get back to your cradle-robbing, some of us have actual _work_ to do."

"Oi! You're one to talk, you pervy hobbit-fondler!" Mal and Sora sped off, leaving Anna's snickering and obscene gestures behind. Anna watched them go for a second, then turned back to abusing her robot gang.

"Still hanging in there?" Mal asked as they drove down the walkway towards the nearest elevator.

"Yes sir," Sora replied, looking a little poleaxed but still game. "It's all a bit much, though."

"Yes, well, Anna is a personality that is best taken in small dosages until you've worked up a good tolerance."

Reaching the elevator, they pulled in and Mal again punched buttons from the driver's seat. With a lurch and a clanging sound the wire mesh elevator doors closed and the whole thing began to rise.

As the elevator climbed, Sora looked at the Hole, watching as the platforms and walkways crawled past. "Why?" she said suddenly.

"Why what?"

"Why all this?" Sora gestured at the expanse."

"Well, it's like I said. We went overboard."

"Obviously," she replied. "Still, this is going beyond _overboard._ "

"Hm. Well, let me put it as a thought experiment," he said. "Imagine that you, Yayoi, Yoriko, Kohran and Noah all lived on the Epsilon Blade 24/7 for most of a year before even _beginning_ to build Stellvia. Aside from the occasional day trip or going out in a pressure suit, your entire universe is the habitable volume inside the Blade."

Sora thought about it. "Oh," she said. "I guess I can see why now. A little, anyway."

Mal chuckled. "Ptichka's a wonderful ship and we love her dearly, but nine months cooped up inside with all eight of us and it was either build _this_ or start killing each other." The elevator lurched to a stop and the doors opened. "And speak of the devil, here we are."

Coming out of the elevator, just across from them, the familiar stubby delta shape of USSR _Ptichka_ sat in the floodlights on the landing platform. Under the light, even the dingier tiles seemed to glow pearlescent white. Service robots clustered around _Ptichka'_ s tail section, busy with their post-flight duties.

Sora's eyes widened. This wasn't the first time she'd seen _Ptichka_ , of course, she'd seen the Soviet flagship docked to Stellvia many times in her life. But this was the first time she'd seen the shuttle in it's own environment, so to speak. "She's _beautiful,_ " Sora breathed, taking in all the lines, curves and small details brought out by the floodlamps.

Mal shot her an unreadable glance. "I'm glad you think so," he said.

Sora kept her eyes fixed on _Ptichka_ as they drove up, her mind whirling with possibilities. She had no doubt that _this_ was the something special Mal had in mind for her, and the thought of working with _Ptichka_ \- one of the most famous ships in Fenspace! - was almost overwhelming. She wondered what the "test" Mal had mentioned was. Did he want her to fix something on board, to show she had the necessary skill?

Sora was so focused on trying to figure out what was coming next that she didn't quite register Mal parking the cart and gently leading her up the gangway to the main hatch. She absently ducked through the hatch and came up short, realizing that she was inside.

Ptichka's interior looked exactly like it did in all the Soviet documentaries. The curved forward monitor with its gilded scrollwork edges at the front of the cabin, the red velvet lounge chairs arranged around the table, the blue-and-gold beta cloth wallpaper, the ladder to the flight deck and the bunkrooms, everything was right where it was supposed to be. The air was slightly warmer than outside in the hangar, and the gravity was a little higher.

Sora looked around, seeing dusty spots and places where the housekeeping had been lackluster at best. Overall, though, _Ptichka_ felt like _home,_ quite unlike the cold indifferent facade of Korolev or the topsy-turvy Hole.

She frowned and looked back towards the ladder. There was a sound coming from the flight deck, some sort of raucous music playing softly. Mal grinned. "Oh good, she's still here," he said. Then raising his voice a little, he called out "Hello the flight deck! Who's playing Dropkick Murphys on my nice clean sound system?"

The music cut off and a cheery voice called back "Hey, Mal! Good timing, I was just about done up here! C'mon up!"

Mal climbed up the ladder. Sora followed. They emerged onto _Ptichka'_ s flight deck, where a young woman with an impressive shock of white hair was flipping switches and bobbing along to a punk tune only she could hear. "Hey B," said Mal, "how was the flight?"

Elena "B" van Oorebeek half turned in her seat. "Flight's okay," she said, exchanging a high-five and a terrorist fist-jab with Mal. "Kinda boring, though. Okay, really gorram boring if you want the truth. I miss doing exciting shit like stomping on space Nazis."

"Well, hopefully there won't be any space Nazis at Delta Pavonis," replied Mal dryly. "Though it should still be more interesting than convoy duty between here and Ganymede."

Elena rolled her eyes. "God, I hope so." She looked over and saw Sora standing at Mal's side. "Oh, hey. Didn't see you there."

Mal made an expansive gesture. "B, Ptichka, this is Sora Hasegawa whom you've probably run into once or twice before-"

"Yeah, you could say that. Hi, Sora."

"And Sora, right there in the middle is our girl Ptichka." Ptichka warbled out a friendly hello. Sora smiled, leaned over the pilot's seat to touch the keyboard on the center console.

"Hello, Ptichka," she said, tapping out a quick greeting.

Ptichka made a soft clucking sound and trilled a response. >HELLO SORA< appeared on the navigation screen.

Sora started to type out a reply when she heard a choking sound coming from the commander's seat. Looking over, she saw Elena looking back at her, eyes wide as saucers. It suddenly occurred to Sora that maybe touching the controls uninvited was a mistake. "Uh," she started to say, but was cut off as Elena found her voice.

"Wu de ma!" she sputtered. "How? What? I mean.. guh! You, you, _how?!_ That's gorram... gorram! _Gorram!_ "

"I'm sorry!" Sora cried, jerking away from the controls. "I didn't mean to!"

"But you, and she, and...!" Elena said, eyes flicking back and forth between Sora and the console.

Sora whirled to face Mal, who was no standing in the rear of the compartment, face completely unreadable. "Colonel, I-" she stopped as Mal opened the hatch to the bunkroom and gestured to it.

"In here, please," he said. "Let's give B a chance to reboot in peace, yeah?"

Sora flushed and scrambled through the hatch as fast as she could. Mal stepped through behind her, closing the hatch behind them. "Colonel, I'm sorry I touched the controls without permission!" Sora blurted out as the hatch sealed. "It was unforgivably rude of me, I should have asked first. Please, _please_ don't reconsider because I made a mistake!"

"Sora, calm down," said Mal. "Nobody's mad at you. If anybody's going to be mad, it'll be Elena, and she'll be mad at _me._ "

"You, sir?" asked Sora, not quite understanding.

Mal nodded. "What just happened was a calculated gamble on my part, and when B realizes that, she's going to make my life difficult for the rest of the week." He paused. "Or she'll tell Kat, and _she'll_ make my life _hell_ for the rest of the _month._ " Mal shrugged. "Such is my dharma."

"I don't understand, sir," Sora said, "all I did was touch the controls. Why would that get you in trouble?"

Mal looked pensive. "That's... hm. Yeah, you have the right to know." He dropped into a cheap deck chair stationed near the hatch. "Take a seat, Sora, and I'll tell you." Sora sat down on the nearest chair and waited attentively, eyes locked on Mal. Mal closed his eyes, visibly gathering his thoughts, then looked at Sora.

"What do you know about Ptichka's quirks?" he asked.

Sora considered. "Well, I know about-" she inclined her head towards the riot of color and gold surrounding them "-but everybody knows about that. Noah once said something about a shrine of some sort aboard, but he didn't say much more. Aside from that... I think that's everything," she finished somewhat lamely.

"That's about what most people know," he said. "We don't advertise Ptichka's quirks, but some of it's a bit difficult to hide. There is one quirk we've kept quiet about, though."

"Sir?"

"Ptichka is... hm, how do I put it? She's very _particular_ about who she lets sit in her cockpit."

"Particular?"

"She objects to anybody who's not a specific list touching so much as a switch on the flight deck, and she makes her objections known with high voltage."

"Oh." Sora blinked. "Oh!"

"We had Commander Suzumiya onboard a couple of months ago for an inspection tour. She tried her I-am-queen-of-everything routine and grabbed the stick even when we warned her not to. Ptichka damn near blasted her into the cargo bay." Mal rolled his eyes and added, "and then we had to listen to her bitch about her frizzy hair for the rest of the tour." Sora valiantly controlled the urge to giggle at the thought of Haruhi Suzumiya wit Bride-of-Frankenstein hair. "What's more," said Mal, "Yayoi tried to touch the controls once, with me in the left-hand seat and everything under my control. She got bit too, not nearly as hard, but enough that she felt it."

"But I didn't feel anything," Sora noted.

"Exactly." Mal finished with an unmistakable note of triumph in his voice.

The realization hit Sora in a flash. "That was the test," she said. "You wanted to put us together and see what happened."

"I was expecting that she'd bite you," Mal explained, "not hard, just a little nip like she gave Yayoi. What happened though..."

"She didn't hurt me at all," said Sora in a wondering tone. "She _likes_ me."

"More than that, she _trusts_ you. Trusts you the same way that she trusts the eight of us who were aboard when we left Earth. That's a very exclusive list of people, Sora. We're going past the Limit into completely uncharted territory. To do that, I need an engineer who's not just capable, but somebody I can trust with my life. Somebody _Ptichka_ trusts with her life. If this hadn't worked out, you'd be chief engineer on our newest ship while Dee was chief here. However..." Mal stuck a hand inside his coat pocket and pulled out a gold and turquoise shoulder patch. "I think that job's been filled. If you want it."

Sora stared at the patch. "Sir, Colonel, I... Yes. Absolutely. I wouldn't pass this up for the world!"

Mal grinned. "Welcome aboard, Lieutenant," he said. Just then a terrifying noise came from the flight deck.

"YOU GORRAM SONOFABITCH!" Elena burst through the hatch, loud and ready to hurt something. Sora eeped and scrambled for cover. "What the gorram _hell_ were you thinking!? That girl could've been seriously hurt by your little mindgames! I ought to truss you up like a Christmas turkey and hand your scheming ass over to GLaDOS, you lun-"

"HEY!" Mal cut in. "Calm down dammit, you're scaring the children! Besides, it all worked out fine, didn't it?"

Elena's rant skidded to a halt. "You.. you're... ARGH!" she yelled. "That's it, I need a drink, it's too gorram early in the morning for this shit."

"GLaDOS is brewing your special blend in the pilot's lounge," Mal offered.

"Right, sweet. Yes, a gallon of that and a long gorram shower, that's what I need." Elena waved at Sora. "Congratulations, don't let Willy Wonka here play with your head too much, I'll talk to you later once I have enough caffeine in my system. Later." That said, she ducked out the hatch and vanished.

There was a brief awkward pause as Sora slowly got to her feet. "So," Mal said, "what do you think?"

"I, um. Every day isn't going to be like today, is it?"

Mal considered this. "Probably not," he said. Sora relaxed fractionally as he grinned wickedly and continued. "Today was pretty quiet. Wait until things _really_ start happening!"

"Right..." Sora looked a little dubious, then shrugged it off. "I guess I'm curious to see what happens next."

"Next we go get some lunch and get you some quarters, and then we get started on your first big job." Mal waved Sora through the hatch. "We need to get _Ptichka_ demilled and refit, which is going to be a bit of work. Here's how we'll start..."

"One last thing, Colonel."

"Hm?"

"Klatchian Habanero coffee?"

"That was a joke. Well, probably. GLaDOS did whip up a batch once on a whim, though."

"Oh?"

"It was about what you'd expect. B declared it 'palatable,' and if that doesn't put the fear of Xenu into a body I don't know what would."


	4. Listening to the Birds

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, USSRAF (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sat July 13th 2013

Mal,

A little bird has whispered to me about a project an engineer of your acquaintance is currently involved with. Given certain requests being made of me in that vain I'm a bit worried how they'll be taken around your place.

Fortunately you've recently hired another engineer of my acquaintance for a little trip, and I hope on Yuri's bones that goes well for both of you (given what I've heard about why you're doing it I can say I know how that feels Mal, for Picard's sake do I know), and that gives me an opportunity to offer a trial period.

I have one eager Tachikoma willing to join your expedition that I'm willing to loan to you as long as Sora keeps an eye on it. Not much I know, but it comes with a selection of useful drones for use on the expedition fleet. This one has also been modified with a micro-warp drive (fresh out of Leonard's talks with Indiana out at Hades) which should allow travel between the fleet at FTL.

If all goes well with this one I will look the other way if you want more from Lebia.

I'm not sure how you're set up for Interwave, but I suppose I could pass on a few of the pre-release Mk. 2 systems. If nothing else they'll give you more room.

Interested?

A.C.

P.S. That other project... Well, I'm still thinking about that.

* * *

**From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sat July 13th 2013
    
    
    > Mal, A little bird has whispered to me about a project an engineer of
    > your acquaintance is currently involved with. Given certain requests
    > being made of me in that vain I'm a bit worried how they'll be taken
    > around your place.
    

All I can say to that is you never know until you ask...
    
    
    > Fortunately you've recently hired another engineer of my acquaintance
    > for a little trip, and I hope on Yuri's bones that goes well for both
    > of you (given what I've heard about why you're doing it I can say I
    > know how that feels Mal, for Picard's sake do I know), and that gives
    > me an opportunity to offer a trial period.
    >
    > I have one eager Tachikoma willing to join your expedition that I'm
    > willing to loan to you as long as Sora keeps an eye on it. Not much I
    > know, but it comes with a selection of useful drones for use on the
    > expedition fleet. This one has also been modified with a micro-warp
    > drive (fresh out of Leonard's talks with Indiana out at Hades) which
    > should allow travel between the fleet at FTL.
    

Hm, I'm not adverse to having another high-mobility unit with the expedition, but if you want Sora specifically to watch it that presents me with a problem. Cargo volume on Ptichka's tight for this run; we're carrying all the commo relay gear plus a couple dozen NGS picosats, so if we're going to haul a Tachikoma I need to know how to origami it into the bay, which is a massive pain in the ass, or set up a docking rig on the forward dorsal, which is *also* a massive pain in the ass.

As for the micro-warp, we've got a few lighters capable of getting back to Sol from deep interstellar if necessary. We're not planning on needing to shuttle crew back & forth while were in warp, and if emergencies happen we're more than set for lifeboats. Shuttle capability might be nice, but it's not a requirement.
    
    
    > If all goes well with this one I will look the other way if you want
    > more from Lebia.
    

I'll pass that along to KJ, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to finally get his army of spidertanks.
    
    
    > I'm not sure how you're set up for Interwave, but I suppose I could
    > pass on a few of the pre-release Mk. 2 systems. If nothing else
    > they'll give you more room.
    

Might be useful. What's their deep-space rating? If we can reduce the volume on the relay sats we can haul more scientific gear.
    
    
    > Interested?
    >
    > A.C.
    >
    > P.S. That other project... Well, I'm still thinking about that.
    

Don't think too long, but as it stands you can always send a telegram to the right people.

\--Mal

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sat July 13th 2013
    
    
    > > Mal, A little bird has whispered to me about a project an engineer of
    > > your acquaintance is currently involved with. Given certain requests
    > > being made of me in that vain I'm a bit worried how they'll be taken
    > > around your place.
    >
    > All I can say to that is you never know until you ask...
    

I was thinking Plausible Deniability really...
    
    
    > > I have one eager Tachikoma willing to join your expedition that I'm
    > > willing to loan to you as long as Sora keeps an eye on it. Not much I
    > > know, but it comes with a selection of useful drones for use on the
    > > expedition fleet. This one has also been modified with a micro-warp
    > > drive (fresh out of Leonard's talks with Indiana out at Hades) which
    > > should allow travel between the fleet at FTL.
    >
    > Hm, I'm not adverse to having another high-mobility unit with the expedition,
    > but if you want Sora specifically to watch it that presents me with a problem.
    > Cargo volume on Ptichka's tight for this run; we're carrying all the commo relay
    > gear plus a couple dozen NGS picosats, so if we're going to haul a Tachikoma
    > I need to know how to origami it into the bay, which is a massive pain in the ass,
    > or set up a docking rig on the forward dorsal, which is *also* a massive pain in
    > the ass.
    

That's quite a load She's carrying.

It's not as bad as it seems. Given the method Lebia used in their construction they're practically Hardtech AIs. I've just been cautious before running them past some Turing Tests. However, I'm thinking the first ones may get their shot about the beginning of August. Depending on how that goes and what reports Sora sends my way before push off, I may put this one through the same. If not, well you guys should have gotten used to it and Sora should have gotten to know you well enough to have someone on a bigger ship look after it. Worst comes to worst Lebia can tell you how to pull the AI core and mount it in something smaller for the trips there and back. Probably a Tree drone, they're smaller and more useful on delicate work.
    
    
    > As for the micro-warp, we've got a few lighters capable of getting back to Sol
    > from deep interstellar if necessary. We're not planning on needing to shuttle
    > crew back & forth while were in warp, and if emergencies happen we're more
    > than set for lifeboats. Shuttle capability might be nice, but it's not a requirement.
    

Nether the less its there. Leonard would like some data on how it performs, but it's not critical.
    
    
    >
    > > If all goes well with this one I will look the other way if you want
    > > more from Lebia.
    >
    > I'll pass that along to KJ, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to finally get his army of
    > spidertanks.
    

Army? SNORT. Yaright. Lebia can't produce them that fast. I know some good cyber-mechanics who have some Landmates available if KJ wants to bulk up quickly.
    
    
    >
    > > I'm not sure how you're set up for Interwave, but I suppose I could
    > > pass on a few of the pre-release Mk. 2 systems. If nothing else
    > > they'll give you more room.
    >
    > Might be useful. What's their deep-space rating? If we can reduce the volume
    > on the relay sats we can haul more scientific gear.
    

Depends on your bandwidth. At standard current Interwave bandwidth, about ten times the norm. Not bad for something a quarter the size eh? There's some problems with the fall-off curve against error correction so at, say, 32MBs it's only 20 times. Give me your requirements and I'll work it out more accurately. Also they still take the same amount of power to run, so you can't cut the generators down.
    
    
    > > P.S. That other project... Well, I'm still thinking about that.
    >
    > Don't think too long, but as it stands you can always send a telegram to the
    > right people.
    

Noah and I are doing some horse-trading on this, so keep an eye out.

A.C.

* * *

**From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sat July 13th 2013
    
    
    >> All I can say to that is you never know until you ask...
    >
    > I was thinking Plausible Deniability really...
    

In my experience deniability has never been especially plausible. Of course, that's just my experience, what with the running and the screaming and the gunfire etc.
    
    
    >> Hm, I'm not adverse to having another high-mobility unit with the
    >> expedition, but if you want Sora specifically to watch it that
    >> presents me with a problem. Cargo volume on Ptichka's tight for
    >> this run; we're carrying all the commo relay gear plus a couple
    >> dozen NGS picosats, so if we're going to haul a Tachikoma I need to
    >> know how to origami it into the bay, which is a massive pain in the
    >> ass, or set up a docking rig on the forward dorsal, which is *also*
    >> a massive pain in the ass.
    >
    > That's quite a load She's carrying.
    

Not really, at least not in mass terms. The relays mass maybe five tons in total, and the picosats are tiny things; you could stuff the whole lot and the launcher into a large backpack if you needed to. We've pulled heavier stuff - the CNES base station we planted on Mercury, for one.

The big problem is *space.* The relays are bulky enough that they make hauling other cargo difficult at best. If I can squeeze out enough cubic to fit a tachikoma, then that tachikoma's not going to be able to *do* much of anything except surf the intranet for a good chunk of the trip. Of course, Ptichka's cargo bay is narrow enough that that'd probably happen even if we were running with an otherwise empty bay, but whatever.
    
    
    > It's not as bad as it seems. Given the method Lebia used in their
    > construction they're practically Hardtech AIs. I've just been
    > cautious before running them past some Turing Tests. However, I'm
    > thinking the first ones may get their shot about the beginning of
    > August. Depending on how that goes and what reports Sora sends my way
    > before push off, I may put this one through the same. If not, well
    > you guys should have gotten used to it and Sora should have gotten to
    > know you well enough to have someone on a bigger ship look after it.
    > Worst comes to worst Lebia can tell you how to pull the AI core and
    > mount it in something smaller for the trips there and back. Probably
    > a Tree drone, they're smaller and more useful on delicate work.
    

Send me some specs on stowage possibilities and Sora & I will look into it. My initial thought is that the tachikoma would be more useful on the Gagarin in-flight than on Ptichka, but that would mean leaving either a live tachikoma or a vacant tachikoma shell around where Dee could get at it. That would be... inopportune for a lot of reasons I won't go into.

LIS, send me some specs & we'll work this out.

Re: the Tree drone, are we talking bushbot? And if so, what kind of scale are you getting? We might be interested in getting a few of those for the yard if they're right.
    
    
    >> As for the micro-warp, we've got a few lighters capable of getting
    >> back to Sol from deep interstellar if necessary. We're not planning
    >> on needing to shuttle crew back & forth while were in warp, and if
    >> emergencies happen we're more than set for lifeboats. Shuttle
    >> capability might be nice, but it's not a requirement.
    >
    > Nether the less its there. Leonard would like some data on how it
    > performs, but it's not critical.
    

All I can say is barring accident or incident we intend to be within D.Pav's Limit for the majority of our time insystem. If Leonard & Indy want some experimental data Hades makes for a better test ground anyway.
    
    
    >> I'll pass that along to KJ, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to finally
    >> get his army of spidertanks.
    >
    > Army? SNORT. Yaright. Lebia can't produce them that fast. I know some
    > good cyber-mechanics who have some Landmates available if KJ wants to
    > bulk up quickly.
    

  * shrug* I'm CinC of an "Air Force" that is composed of less than a dozen aircraft and one refugee from a Kubrick movie. It's the principle of the thing, dammit.


    
    
    >> Might be useful. What's their deep-space rating? If we can reduce
    >> the volume on the relay sats we can haul more scientific gear.
    >
    > Depends on your bandwidth. At standard current Interwave bandwidth,
    > about ten times the norm. Not bad for something a quarter the size
    > eh? There's some problems with the fall-off curve against error
    > correction so at, say, 32MBs it's only 20 times. Give me your
    > requirements and I'll work it out more accurately. Also they still
    > take the same amount of power to run, so you can't cut the generators
    > down.
    

Well, the bandwidth info is useful but what I *meant* was "are they rated for extended operations Outside?" The relays need to be able to stand up to a cold soak in open space for a minimum of the six weeks we're staying in the system, and preferably they need to stand up for at least another two years so we can keep getting data back from the flyby probes & the rest of the automated instrumentation. We don't really need a phat bandwidth pipe - being at the other end of a three hour FTL-lag means we won't be doing much websurfing on site - we need maximum durability for each relay we deploy.
    
    
    >>> P.S. That other project... Well, I'm still thinking about that.
    >>
    >> Don't think too long, but as it stands you can always send a
    >> telegram to the right people.
    >
    > Noah and I are doing some horse-trading on this, so keep an eye out.
    

I'll be interested to know who ends up with whose horse this time.

\--Mal

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sat July 13th 2013
    
    
    >>> All I can say to that is you never know until you ask...
    >>
    >> I was thinking Plausible Deniability really...
    >
    > In my experience deniability has never been especially plausible. Of course,
    > that's just my experience, what with the running and the screaming and the
    > gunfire etc.
    

Let's just say I know some things on this score, and leave it at that then?
    
    
    > Send me some specs on stowage possibilities and Sora & I will look into it. My
    > initial thought is that the tachikoma would be more useful on the Gagarin
    > in-flight than on Ptichka, but that would mean leaving either a live tachikoma or
    > a vacant tachikoma shell around where Dee could get at it. That would be...
    > inopportune for a lot of reasons I won't go into.
    

Inopportune? Inopportune is letting Kohran & Eddie become friends, although it'll be less of a problem now Kohran's more busy.
    
    
    > LIS, send me some specs & we'll work this out.
    

Sent.
    
    
    > Re: the Tree drone, are we talking bushbot? And if so, what kind of scale are
    > you getting? We might be interested in getting a few of those for the yard if
    > they're right.
    

Yes, they're bushbots more or less, just with less arms. Standard drone averages 1.5*1*1M in operation. They can compact to 70cm tall and fit inside their 50cm wide octagonal base. They're also only 50kg, so are easy to move or mount etc. We can do larger ones.

Maybe I'll put together a brochure about my drones like Kasumi did for the Clay Pigeons.
    
    
    >>> I'll pass that along to KJ, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to finally
    >>> get his army of spidertanks.
    >>
    >> Army? SNORT. Yaright. Lebia can't produce them that fast. I know some
    >> good cyber-mechanics who have some Landmates available if KJ wants to
    >> bulk up quickly.
    >
    > *shrug* I'm CinC of an "Air Force" that is composed of less than a dozen
    > aircraft and one refugee from a Kubrick movie. It's the principle of the thing,
    > dammit.
    

Pot, thou art black.

Seriously, I'm rather glad Yu-Te-Na seems to be against the Senshi Justice faction's current fixation with Ms Suzumiya. Otherwise I might have to stop running from the Senshi and have to start just running them.

Exageration? I certainly hope with all my might that this is so, but my gut feeling is worse.

But that's neither here or there.

If you want to send me a wish list, I'll see what's available. It'll probably be expensive as heck but...
    
    
    > Well, the bandwidth info is useful but what I *meant* was "are they rated for
    > extended operations Outside?" The relays need to be able to stand up to a cold
    > soak in open space for a minimum of the six weeks we're staying in the system,
    > and preferably they need to stand up for at least another two years so we can
    > keep getting data back from the flyby probes & the rest of the automated
    > instrumentation. We don't really need a phat bandwidth pipe - being at the other
    > end of a three hour FTL-lag means we won't be doing much websurfing on site
    > - we need maximum durability for each relay we deploy.
    

OK, we're doing a test on this at the moment. But current results show them as no worse than currently deployed. No better yet, but certainly no worse. The reduced size makes them easier to shield anyway.

More details as they come to us.
    
    
    >> Noah and I are doing some horse-trading on this, so keep an eye out.
    
    
    
    > I'll be interested to know who ends up with whose horse this time.
    

Why Mal, I didn't know you were so kinky. ^_-

Honestly, fulfilling the requirements is what's taking up the current talk

* * *

**From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sat July 13th 2013
    
    
    > Let's just say I know some things on this score, and leave it at that
    > then?
    

Fair enough; I'll leave that sort of thing to people with a better sense of subtlety.
    
    
    >> Send me some specs on stowage possibilities and Sora & I will look
    >> into it. My initial thought is that the tachikoma would be more
    >> useful on the Gagarin in-flight than on Ptichka, but that would
    >> mean leaving either a live tachikoma or a vacant tachikoma shell
    >> around where Dee could get at it. That would be... inopportune for
    >> a lot of reasons I won't go into.
    >
    > Inopportune? Inopportune is letting Kohran & Eddie become friends,
    > although it'll be less of a problem now Kohran's more busy.
    

Eddie & Kohran like the 'splody, and I understand that. Hell, *I* like the 'splody - we've got a DVD of nuclear test footage that's a perennial favorite on movie nights. But aside from that both of 'em are largely harmless.

Dee, OTOH, is something else entirely. I can't say much without betraying some confidences, but her work goes way past the bleeding edge, even past where you & the other Confederation hotshots are. Really heavy-duty Kurzweil stuff, if you follow my meaning. I love Dee dearly; she's part of my crew & a loyal friend, but she can scare the hell out of me some days.

But that's neither here nor there. Onward.
    
    
    >> LIS, send me some specs & we'll work this out.
    >
    > Sent.
    

Hm. Allright.

Looking at the specs, I think we can pull this one off with minimal hassle. Space'll be tight, but that's always the case on a heavy run like this one. Mobility will be close to zero until the relays are deployed, but that's not so long and if we need it for space ops before then it should be able to just kick straight up & out. Plugging it into the expedition intranet shouldn't be a problem, either.

Yeah, okay. Let's do this thing.
    
    
    >> Re: the Tree drone, are we talking bushbot? And if so, what kind of
    >> scale are you getting? We might be interested in getting a few of
    >> those for the yard if they're right.
    >
    > Yes, they're bushbots more or less, just with less arms. Standard
    > drone averages 1.5*1*1M in operation. They can compact to 70cm tall
    > and fit inside their 50cm wide octagonal base. They're also only
    > 50kg, so are easy to move or mount etc. We can do larger ones.
    

How's the downscale? I'm assuming you haven't gotten to nanometer scale on the manipulators yet.
    
    
    > Maybe I'll put together a brochure about my drones like Kasumi did
    > for the Clay Pigeons.
    

Yeah, you ought to. If they're easy enough to operate or program, every shipyard and fabricator in the system would sell their grandmothers to zwilniks to get one.
    
    
    >> *shrug* I'm CinC of an "Air Force" that is composed of less than a
    >> dozen aircraft and one refugee from a Kubrick movie. It's the
    >> principle of the thing, dammit.
    >
    > Pot, thou art black.
    

Moi? Surely you jest. ;)
    
    
    > Seriously, I'm rather glad Yu-Te-Na seems to be against the Senshi
    > Justice faction's current fixation with Ms Suzumiya. Otherwise I
    > might have to stop running from the Senshi and have to start just
    > running them.
    >
    > Exageration? I certainly hope with all my might that this is so, but
    > my gut feeling is worse.
    

  * shrug* From my experience, if the Senshi decide to hand over the reins to Suzumiya then they reap what they sow. And to be honest, if they *don't* end up shipping her to Ishtar Terra without a suit after six months of her direct rule I'll be very fucking surprised.



Either way, I wouldn't go running to correct their mistakes; if you do that then they'll never learn, and you'll be stuck with a job you hate. Here endeth the lesson.
    
    
    > If you want to send me a wish list, I'll see what's available. It'll
    > probably be expensive as heck but...
    

What's your going rate for blueprints? Our fabs aren't as hardcore as Hephaestus or Clark Universal, but this is where Dee's more TMWNMTKish tendencies come in handy. I'll bet you there's very little that you can design that we can't build.
    
    
    >> Well, the bandwidth info is useful but what I *meant* was "are they
    >> rated for extended operations Outside?" The relays need to be able
    >> to stand up to a cold soak in open space for a minimum of the six
    >> weeks we're staying in the system, and preferably they need to
    >> stand up for at least another two years so we can keep getting data
    >> back from the flyby probes & the rest of the automated
    >> instrumentation. We don't really need a phat bandwidth pipe - being
    >> at the other end of a three hour FTL-lag means we won't be doing
    >> much websurfing on site - we need maximum durability for each relay
    >> we deploy.
    >
    > OK, we're doing a test on this at the moment. But current results
    > show them as no worse than currently deployed. No better yet, but
    > certainly no worse. The reduced size makes them easier to shield
    > anyway.
    >
    > More details as they come to us.
    

Okay, that's more what I needed to hear. They don't need to be super-strong, just as durable as the standard relays. Plus, if we can drop the stowed volume of the relays by 25% each it'd free up some extra deck space for the tachikoma and allow for some more redundancy in the comms network.
    
    
    >> I'll be interested to know who ends up with whose horse this time.
    >
    > Why Mal, I didn't know you were so kinky. ^_-
    

I've been working on getting my "Dirty Old Man" merit badge in my spare time. You know how it goes.

\--Mal

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2014
    
    
    >> Inopportune? Inopportune is letting Kohran & Eddie become friends,
    >> although it'll be less of a problem now Kohran's more busy.
    >
    > Eddie & Kohran like the 'splody, and I understand that. Hell, *I* like the
    > 'splody - we've got a DVD of nuclear test footage that's a perennial favorite
    > on movie nights. But aside from that both of 'em are largely harmless.
    

I can point you at a former Rock that says otherwise.
    
    
    > Dee, OTOH, is something else entirely. I can't say much without betraying
    > some confidences, but her work goes way past the bleeding edge, even past
    > where you & the other Confederation hotshots are.
    

Given some of the stuff I know about that you probably don't, I'm fairly sceptical of that claim. I'll let it slide for now.
    
    
    > Really heavy-duty Kurzweil stuff, if you follow my meaning. I love Dee
    > dearly; she's part of my crew & a loyal friend, but she can scare the hell out
    > of me some days.
    

I'm ashamed to say I had to look Kurzweil up, but yeah. Leonard's a lot like that at times. So am I in fact, when my hair is especially Blue.
    
    
    > Looking at the specs, I think we can pull this one off with minimal hassle.
    > Space'll be tight, but that's always the case on a heavy run like this one.
    > Mobility will be close to zero until the relays are deployed, but that's not so
    > long and if we need it for space ops before then it should be able to just kick
    > straight up & out. Plugging it into the expedition intranet shouldn't be a
    > problem, either.
    >
    > Yeah, okay. Let's do this thing.
    

When do you want delivery?
    
    
    >> Yes, they're bushbots more or less, just with less arms. Standard
    >> drone averages 1.5*1*1M in operation. They can compact to 70cm tall
    >> and fit inside their 50cm wide octagonal base. They're also only
    >> 50kg, so are easy to move or mount etc. We can do larger ones.
    >
    > How's the downscale? I'm assuming you haven't gotten to nanometer scale
    > on the manipulators yet.
    

Um... We do NOW. We've got an X-Ray lithograph working, and Lebia had some ideas. It's still in early prototyping ATM, so it's not available (and all credit to Dee, but she's nowhere near powerful enough to run this thing anyway).

Anyway, the smallest effective one we can do is 12cm in diameter and 20cm tall. Had to offload the processing to an external core though. The standard manipulators on all of these are 1mm, accurate to about half that. We do have tools for greater accuracy, as well as specialised manipulator extensions.
    
    
    >> Maybe I'll put together a brochure about my drones like Kasumi did
    >> for the Clay Pigeons.
    >
    > Yeah, you ought to. If they're easy enough to operate or program, every
    > shipyard and fabricator in the system would sell their grandmothers to
    > zwilniks to get one.
    

Programming them is much easier now that we've worked up tools to do it instead of working raw code (fairly trivial for any class 3 A.I. or above anyway). Operating them however depends on what you're doing. Certain things need the personal touch, you know?
    
    
    >> If you want to send me a wish list, I'll see what's available. It'll
    >> probably be expensive as heck but...
    >
    > What's your going rate for blueprints? Our fabs aren't as hardcore as
    > Hephaestus or Clark Universal, but this is where Dee's more
    > TMWNMTKish tendencies come in handy. I'll bet you there's very little
    > that you can design that we can't build.
    

Some of my designs *I* can't build, and the Professor is VERY impressed with my R&D facilities. The going rates for blueprints (or licensing) depends on what it is, how dangerous it would be if it got out uncontrolled, and who's doing the asking. We both have stuff we don't want out on the space lanes without our watchful eyes on them.

Prices for current stuff I offer attached, and negotiation is possible. Any special stuff you want you'll have to ask personally.
    
    
    > Okay, that's more what I needed to hear. They don't need to be super-strong,
    > just as durable as the standard relays. Plus, if we can drop the stowed volume
    > of the relays by 25% each it'd free up some extra deck space for the
    > tachikoma and allow for some more redundancy in the comms network.
    

Sent full specs, prices and estimated delivery times in a separate email.
    
    
    >>> I'll be interested to know who ends up with whose horse this time.
    >>
    >> Why Mal, I didn't know you were so kinky. ^_-
    >
    > I've been working on getting my "Dirty Old Man" merit badge in my spare
    > time. You know how it goes.
    

Yeah. If I wasn't so busy I could be convinced to help out on that. Force knows I could use the relaxation.

P.S. When's your promotion party?

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2014
    
    
    >> Eddie & Kohran like the 'splody, and I understand that. Hell, *I*
    >> like the 'splody - we've got a DVD of nuclear test footage that's a
    >> perennial favorite on movie nights. But aside from that both of 'em
    >> are largely harmless.
    >
    > I can point you at a former Rock that says otherwise.
    

What's a rock or two? There's millions of rocks in the solar system - billions if you count everything between here and Azkaban.
    
    
    >> Dee, OTOH, is something else entirely. I can't say much without
    >> betraying some confidences, but her work goes way past the bleeding
    >> edge, even past where you & the other Confederation hotshots are.
    >
    > Given some of the stuff I know about that you probably don't, I'm
    > fairly sceptical of that claim. I'll let it slide for now.
    

You might be surprised by what I know. I may not be a hotshot cybertech, but I have my sources.
    
    
    >> Really heavy-duty Kurzweil stuff, if you follow my meaning. I love
    >> Dee dearly; she's part of my crew & a loyal friend, but she can
    >> scare the hell out of me some days.
    >
    > I'm ashamed to say I had to look Kurzweil up, but yeah. Leonard's a
    > lot like that at times. So am I in fact, when my hair is especially
    > Blue.
    

Yeah, but for you or your crew, that's largely a passing phase. AFAICT Dee's hair is *permanently* blue, and always working in the background. Plus, you & rest of the Cybers are anthropomorphic in your outlook. Dee... isn't. It's not like she's gonna Skynet or anything, but she's I think the only AI I've ever met in the system who really truly *does not think like a human.*

Still, water under the bridge at this point. I for one welcome my new robot overlords, etc. If something happens, we'll deal with it or not. Onwards to more immediate issues.
    
    
    >> Yeah, okay. Let's do this thing.
    >
    > When do you want delivery?
    

Good question. How much time do you think it'll need to hang out for socialization or whatever? Right now Sora's in the process of demilling Ptichka, doing some minor repair work, stuff we should've taken care of earlier except the war got in the way, etc. That's a big enough job that I don't want Sora distracted with trying to paper-train a new AI in the middle of it, y'know?

Figure that'll be done around the end of the month. Right after SerenityCon would be best, I think, especially if we're going to go ahead and swap out the relays for the newer models.
    
    
    >> How's the downscale? I'm assuming you haven't gotten to nanometer
    >> scale on the manipulators yet.
    >
    > Um... We do NOW. We've got an X-Ray lithograph working, and Lebia had
    > some ideas. It's still in early prototyping ATM, so it's not
    > available (and all credit to Dee, but she's nowhere near powerful
    > enough to run this thing anyway). Anyway, the smallest effective one
    > we can do is 12cm in diameter and 20cm tall. Had to offload the
    > processing to an external core though. The standard manipulators on
    > all of these are 1mm, accurate to about half that. We do have tools
    > for greater accuracy, as well as specialised manipulator extensions.
    

1mm's not bad for a first-gen bushbot. 1um would be better, especially for electronics work, but for general assembly that'd be fine.

Hm... what's the baseline quirk on those, and how do they respond to outside quirks, especially noise-related ones? Our yard setup is pretty much self contained, but we've got to have "Powerhouse" playing on a loop to get it to work right.
    
    
    >> What's your going rate for blueprints? Our fabs aren't as hardcore
    >> as Hephaestus or Clark Universal, but this is where Dee's more
    >> TMWNMTKish tendencies come in handy. I'll bet you there's very
    >> little that you can design that we can't build.
    >
    > Some of my designs *I* can't build, and the Professor is VERY
    > impressed with my R&D facilities.
    

Ah but you're a small shop that uses a lot of external trade for parts. We build almost *everything* in-house, because all of the "available spares" for our Russian gear have been sitting for a minimum of 20 years in poorly-maintained warehouses and are so corroded that even handwashing can't produce something useful. We don't have chip-printing facilities (yet), but we can fabricate damn near anything if we need to.
    
    
    >> Okay, that's more what I needed to hear. They don't need to be
    >> super-strong, just as durable as the standard relays. Plus, if we
    >> can drop the stowed volume of the relays by 25% each it'd free up
    >> some extra deck space for the tachikoma and allow for some more
    >> redundancy in the comms network.
    >
    > Sent full specs, prices and estimated delivery times in a separate
    > email.
    >
    

Yeah, I think we're going to want six of the baseline units, stripped of the usual cruft & ready to plug into the sat frames.
    
    
    >> I've been working on getting my "Dirty Old Man" merit badge in my
    >> spare time. You know how it goes.
    >
    > Yeah. If I wasn't so busy I could be convinced to help out on that.
    > Force knows I could use the relaxation.
    

Who has time for relaxation these days? I haven't had a proper day off since SOS-Con. Between gearing up for the expedition, resorting all the admin paperwork, briefing the newbies, plus getting all our ducks in a row for Noah's new shiny... is it any wonder why I'm wintering in Delta Pavonis?
    
    
    > P.S. When's your promotion party?
    

We don't make a huge deal about these things, but if you're in the neighborhood of the 250K Saloon next Friday around 20:00 KST you're more than welcome to hoist a beer with the various new Colonels an' whatnot.

\--Mal

* * *

**From:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013

Boo! Kohran was looking through the Interwave system, noticed that Lebia routed this one through Stellvia's store-and-forward node on purpose, and spotted her own name in it. It's almost as if somebody wanted me to read your mail... <g>

(Seriously, we're doing a lot better here; it's been over a month. Lebia - or you - didn't need to coax us out of our misery this way, really. But let her know I said thanks for caring about us.)
    
    
    >>> Inopportune? Inopportune is letting Kohran & Eddie become friends,
    >>> although it'll be less of a problem now Kohran's more busy.
    >>
    >> Eddie & Kohran like the 'splody, and I understand that. Hell, *I* like the
    >> 'splody - we've got a DVD of nuclear test footage that's a perennial favorite
    >> on movie nights. But aside from that both of 'em are largely harmless.
    >
    >I can point you at a former Rock that says otherwise.
    

The one that Kohran destroyed during Worldcon Floating Island, or are you thinking of something other than the "Kaboomite Incident"?

(Which reminds me - I have to bug Rockhounds about when they're going to deliver that rock I want to turn into a farm. Can't impose on Grovers' Corners forever... Do you have any pull with them, A.C.?)
    
    
    >> Dee, OTOH, is something else entirely. I can't say much without betraying
    >> some confidences, but her work goes way past the bleeding edge, even past
    >> where you & the other Confederation hotshots are.
    >
    >Given some of the stuff I know about that you probably don't, I'm
    >fairly sceptical of that claim. I'll let it slide for now.
    

Sora's seen at least part of your setup, and she'll be seeing at least part of Mal's. Shall we wait for her decision on the matter?
    
    
    >> Really heavy-duty Kurzweil stuff, if you follow my meaning. I love Dee
    >> dearly; she's part of my crew & a loyal friend, but she can scare the hell out
    >> of me some days.
    >
    >I'm ashamed to say I had to look Kurzweil up, but yeah. Leonard's a lot
    >like that at times. So am I in fact, when my hair is especially Blue.
    >
    >> Looking at the specs, I think we can pull this one off with minimal hassle.
    >> Space'll be tight, but that's always the case on a heavy run like this one.
    >> Mobility will be close to zero until the relays are deployed, but that's not so
    >> long and if we need it for space ops before then it should be able to just kick
    >> straight up & out. Plugging it into the expedition intranet shouldn't be a
    >> problem, either.
    >>
    >> Yeah, okay. Let's do this thing.
    >
    >When do you want delivery?
    

Before mine, if it matters. Mal's on a tighter deadline than I am, and I still owe him a few favors.
    
    
    >>> Yes, they're bushbots more or less, just with less arms. Standard
    >>> drone averages 1.5*1*1M in operation. They can compact to 70cm tall
    >>> and fit inside their 50cm wide octagonal base. They're also only
    >>> 50kg, so are easy to move or mount etc. We can do larger ones.
    >>
    >> How's the downscale? I'm assuming you haven't gotten to nanometer scale
    >> on the manipulators yet.
    >
    >Um... We do NOW. We've got an X-Ray lithograph working, and Lebia had
    >some ideas. It's still in early prototyping ATM, so it's not available
    >(and all credit to Dee, but she's nowhere near powerful enough to run
    >this thing anyway).
    

Mind if I send Kohran over to give that rig a test? She and I have a pet project going on based on some of the tech specs that the Visitors left in our database, and we could make use of an x-ray litho setup for a few days, right now. I'll let you keep copies of the basic 'droid specs.

And if that isn't a big enough a carrot: If Kohran's reading it right, there's something in the Visitors' tech database that might help you improve that x-ray lithograph gear. How's a potential 3% increase in fine resolution sound?
    
    
    >Anyway, the smallest effective one we can do is 12cm in diameter and
    >20cm tall. Had to offload the processing to an external core though.
    >The standard manipulators on all of these are 1mm, accurate to about
    >half that. We do have tools for greater accuracy, as well as
    >specialised manipulator extensions.
    

4.7"x7.8"? For a bushbot? I'll take a half-dozen, after you've filled Mal's order. (We already have an external processor, named Kohran...)
    
    
    >>> Maybe I'll put together a brochure about my drones like Kasumi did
    >>> for the Clay Pigeons.
    >>
    >> Yeah, you ought to. If they're easy enough to operate or program, every
    >> shipyard and fabricator in the system would sell their grandmothers to
    >> zwilniks to get one.
    >
    >Programming them is much easier now that we've worked up tools to do it
    >instead of working raw code (fairly trivial for any class 3 A.I. or
    >above anyway). Operating them however depends on what you're doing.
    >Certain things need the personal touch, you know?
    >
    >>> If you want to send me a wish list, I'll see what's available. It'll
    >>> probably be expensive as heck but...
    >>
    >> What's your going rate for blueprints? Our fabs aren't as hardcore as
    >> Hephaestus or Clark Universal, but this is where Dee's more
    >> TMWNMTKish tendencies come in handy. I'll bet you there's very little
    >> that you can design that we can't build.
    >
    >Some of my designs *I* can't build, and the Professor is VERY impressed
    >with my R&D facilities.
    >The going rates for blueprints (or licensing) depends on what it is,
    >how dangerous it would be if it got out uncontrolled, and who's doing
    >the asking. We both have stuff we don't want out on the space lanes
    >without our watchful eyes on them.
    

We all have stuff we don't want out on the space lanes, period. <wink>
    
    
    >Prices for current stuff I offer attached, and negotiation is possible.
    >Any special stuff you want you'll have to ask personally.
    >
    >> Okay, that's more what I needed to hear. They don't need to be super-strong,
    >> just as durable as the standard relays. Plus, if we can drop the stowed volume
    >> of the relays by 25% each it'd free up some extra deck space for the
    >> tachikoma and allow for some more redundancy in the comms network.
    >
    >Sent full specs, prices and estimated delivery times in a separate email.
    >
    >>>> I'll be interested to know who ends up with whose horse this time.
    >>>
    >>> Why Mal, I didn't know you were so kinky. ^_-
    

If this "horse" is what I think it is, you can tell Mal. He's co-funding Section 9.
    
    
    >> I've been working on getting my "Dirty Old Man" merit badge in my spare
    >> time. You know how it goes.
    >
    >Yeah. If I wasn't so busy I could be convinced to help out on that.
    >Force knows I could use the relaxation.
    >
    >P.S. When's your promotion party?
    

We could all use a break. How about you, me, Mal, and whoever each of us wants to invite as an escort all hit Fantasy Island for a couple of days before the VVS leaves, and tweak Suzumiya's nose a bit? My treat.

\--   
Noah Scott, of station Stellvia

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2014
    
    
    >> I can point you at a former Rock that says otherwise.
    >
    > What's a rock or two? There's millions of rocks in the solar system
    > - billions if you count everything between here and Azkaban.
    

Yeah, but it was a BIG rock.
    
    
    >> I'm ashamed to say I had to look Kurzweil up, but yeah. Leonard's a
    >> lot like that at times. So am I in fact, when my hair is especially
    >> Blue.
    >
    > Yeah, but for you or your crew, that's largely a passing phase. AFAICT
    > Dee's hair is *permanently* blue, and always working in the background.
    > Plus, you & rest of the Cybers are anthropomorphic in your outlook.
    

Good point.
    
    
    > Dee... isn't. It's not like she's gonna Skynet or anything, but she's
    > I think the only AI I've ever met in the system who really truly *does
    > not think like a human.*
    

Lebia's working on Hardtech A.I.s for her own projects, so this is something we'll keep an eye out for. It'll be interesting.
    
    
    > Still, water under the bridge at this point. I for one welcome my new
    > robot overlords, etc. If something happens, we'll deal with it or not.
    

Might be able to cover for that. Depends if Eddie can get working.
    
    
    >> When do you want delivery?
    >
    > Good question. How much time do you think it'll need to hang out for
    > socialization or whatever? Right now Sora's in the process of demilling
    > Ptichka, doing some minor repair work, stuff we should've taken care of
    > earlier except the war got in the way, etc. That's a big enough job that
    > I don't want Sora distracted with trying to paper-train a new AI in the
    > middle of it, y'know?
    

It's pretty much already paper-trained, but like you said you're busy. Socialisation time is tricky. More is better, but again you're busy. And it's been hanging around the Forge, so it's used to all our foibles. Noah runs a fairly 'Dane operation all told, so Sora's probably still coping with you guys (amongst other things).
    
    
    > Figure that'll be done around the end of the month. Right after
    > SerenityCon would be best, I think, especially if we're going to go ahead
    > and swap out the relays for the newer models.
    

Probably a good idea. Sora probably needs to finish that work before getting on top of an inquisitive Tachikoma. You got any copies of rules, regs, and operation procedures you can send? I'll have it learn them. If it'll help I'll train it up on the Drone programming tools (unlike the general Tachikoma habit of just taking them over. At least they only do that with inactive ones).

This'll be my busiest Con since KandorCon, but unlike that one I won't be running from a couple thousand rampaging Senshi. Depending on how things go I might be unveiling some big surprises.
    
    
    >> The standard manipulators on all of these are 1mm, accurate to about half
    >> that. We do have tools for greater accuracy, as well as specialised
    >> manipulator extensions.
    >
    > 1mm's not bad for a first-gen bushbot. 1um would be better, especially for
    > electronics work, but for general assembly that'd be fine.
    

For electronics I already have specialised machines, but I can do that if you want. It'll cost a bit more of course, plus the time for us to work up the programming tools.

Ya see, THIS is why I have to get out more. I've been getting insular.
    
    
    > Hm... what's the baseline quirk on those, and how do they respond to
    > outside quirks, especially noise-related ones? Our yard setup is pretty
    > much self contained, but we've got to have "Powerhouse" playing on a loop
    > to get it to work right.
    

Quirkwise they're not too bad. The trees like having plants around of course, the crabs need oiling twice a day (but you can use synthetic and get the other drones to apply it), and the squids like shonen ai mangas to read.

The only problem I can foresee is they drop in efficiency by 10% a day if they're within 10m of fish products. Living fish are OK, but you may have to cut back on the caviar.

(Hum... We've got a disused Hydroponics tank, can we farm fish up here? Must look into it.)
    
    
    >> Some of my designs *I* can't build, and the Professor is VERY
    >> impressed with my R&D facilities.
    >
    > Ah but you're a small shop that uses a lot of external trade for parts. We
    > build almost *everything* in-house, because all of the "available spares"
    > for our Russian gear have been sitting for a minimum of 20 years in
    > poorly-maintained warehouses and are so corroded that even handwashing
    > can't produce something useful. We don't have chip-printing facilities
    > (yet), but we can fabricate damn near anything if we need to.
    

We mostly import electronic components (resistors, small capacitors, LEDs, and the like) but we can assemble most anything electronic and make virtually any material under the Sun (no Adamantium yet, but we have made Neutronium in scientific quantities. That tends to blow up the equipment however). And as I noted in an earlier email we have a working X-Ray lithographic system so we can make our own chips.

I'll admit we're not set up for heavy industry however, and I'll buy in gear to speed things up, but if it can be built we can probably have a good go at it. Quite slowly true enough, but by Serenity Valley we'll have a go. It's one of my planned upgrades to get more manufacture in-house, mainly because of back-burner projects I want to do. It's not like Hephaestus won't want the fresh veg.
    
    
    >> Sent full specs, prices and estimated delivery times in a separate
    >> email.
    >>
    >
    > Yeah, I think we're going to want six of the baseline units, stripped of
    > the usual cruft & ready to plug into the sat frames.
    

They won't be ready until after SerenityCon, good enough?
    
    
    > Who has time for relaxation these days? I haven't had a proper day off
    > since SOS-Con. Between gearing up for the expedition, resorting all the
    > admin paperwork, briefing the newbies, plus getting all our ducks in a row
    > for Noah's new shiny... is it any wonder why I'm wintering in Delta Pavonis?
    

Again, Kettle thou art black. I can get away with being that much a workaholic Mal, what with being a full waveborg.

RE: Noah's new shiny, Eddie's sent a few interesting files to KJ if you want a look.
    
    
    >> P.S. When's your promotion party?
    >
    > We don't make a huge deal about these things, but if you're in the
    > neighborhood of the 250K Saloon next Friday around 20:00 KST you're more
    > than welcome to hoist a beer with the various new Colonels an' whatnot.
    

If I can make it, I'll be there. Look out for Natalia.

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > Boo! Kohran was looking through the Interwave system, noticed that
    > Lebia routed this one through Stellvia's store-and-forward node on
    > purpose, and spotted her own name in it. It's almost as if somebody
    > wanted me to read your mail...
    >
    > (Seriously, we're doing a lot better here; it's been over a month.
    > Lebia - or you - didn't need to coax us out of our misery this way,
    > really. But let her know I said thanks for caring about us.)
    

(Glares at Lebia, who looks unrepentant.)

Yeah, she knows. It's more for Yoriko's sake IMO, given how well they got on together. Not that I wouldn't have asked if I'd thought of it. Like I've told you before, I may be a hyper-intelligent, inquisitive, and cunning fully functional combat cyborg Noah, but I'm only human.

Mal, sorry about this.
    
    
    > > > > Inopportune? Inopportune is letting Kohran & Eddie become friends,
    > > > > although it'll be less of a problem now Kohran's more busy.
    > > >
    > > > Eddie & Kohran like the 'splody, and I understand that. Hell, *I* like the
    > > > 'splody - we've got a DVD of nuclear test footage that's a perennial favorite
    > > > on movie nights. But aside from that both of 'em are largely harmless.
    > >
    > > I can point you at a former Rock that says otherwise.
    >
    > The one that Kohran destroyed during Worldcon Floating Island, or are
    > you thinking of something other than the "Kaboomite Incident"?
    

Different one. Kohran gave Eddie some Ideas (yes the capital IS necessary) and, well, I'm not hurting for raw materials at the moment and we're missing an asteroid.
    
    
    > (Which reminds me - I have to bug Rockhounds about when they're going to
    > deliver that rock I want to turn into a farm. Can't impose on Grovers'
    > Corners forever... Do you have any pull with them, A.C.?)
    

I've dinged my contacts, but it doesn't seem likely they'll start outfitting on yours until next year (they have started it however). If you want something sooner it can be arranged, but it'll cost a lot more.
    
    
    > > > Dee, OTOH, is something else entirely. I can't say much without betraying
    > > > some confidences, but her work goes way past the bleeding edge, even past
    > > > where you & the other Confederation hotshots are.
    > >
    > > Given some of the stuff I know about that you probably don't, I'm
    > > fairly sceptical of that claim. I'll let it slide for now.
    >
    > Sora's seen at least part of your setup, and she'll be seeing at least
    > part of Mal's. Shall we wait for her decision on the matter?
    

Much as hate to say it, Sora probably has no idea some of the Deep Black stuff Mal or I have available.
    
    
    > > > Yeah, okay. Let's do this thing.
    > >
    > > When do you want delivery?
    >
    > Before mine, if it matters. Mal's on a tighter deadline than I am, and
    > I still owe him a few favors.
    

Not much. Lebia's working on the custom requirements right now, but his is virtually ready to go.
    
    
    > > Um... We do NOW. We've got an X-Ray lithograph working, and Lebia had
    > > some ideas. It's still in early prototyping ATM, so it's not available
    > > (and all credit to Dee, but she's nowhere near powerful enough to run
    > > this thing anyway).
    >
    > Mind if I send Kohran over to give that rig a test? She and I have a
    > pet project going on based on some of the tech specs that the Visitors
    > left in our database, and we could make use of an x-ray litho setup for
    > a few days, right now. I'll let you keep copies of the basic 'droid specs.
    

Give us a few days to clean up the thing. We're still working out some nasty quirks.
    
    
    > And if that isn't a big enough a carrot: If Kohran's reading it right,
    > there's something in the Visitors' tech database that might help you
    > improve that x-ray lithograph gear. How's a potential 3% increase in
    > fine resolution sound?
    

Nice. ^_- It might stop Leonard's foray into gamma-tech for a while.
    
    
    > > Anyway, the smallest effective one we can do is 12cm in diameter and
    > > 20cm tall. Had to offload the processing to an external core though.
    > > The standard manipulators on all of these are 1mm, accurate to about
    > > half that. We do have tools for greater accuracy, as well as
    > > specialised manipulator extensions.
    >
    > 4.7"x7.8"? For a bushbot? I'll take a half-dozen, after you've filled
    > Mal's order. (We already have an external processor, named Kohran...)
    

General or specialised electronic like Mal's put me onto?
    
    
    > > > > > I'll be interested to know who ends up with whose horse this time.
    > > > >
    > > > > Why Mal, I didn't know you were so kinky. ^_-
    >
    > If this "horse" is what I think it is, you can tell Mal. He's
    > co-funding Section 9.
    

I believe KJ's handling it for him, so Mal probably already knows.
    
    
    > >P.S. When's your promotion party?
    >
    > We could all use a break. How about you, me, Mal, and whoever each of
    > us wants to invite as an escort all hit Fantasy Island for a couple of
    > days before the VVS leaves, and tweak Suzumiya's nose a bit? My treat.
    

They got that running?

Anyway, Mal's already got plans. Specifically:

" > We don't make a huge deal about these things, but if you're in the
    
    
    > neighborhood of the 250K Saloon next Friday around 20:00 KST you're more
    > than welcome to hoist a beer with the various new Colonels an' whatnot.
    

If I can make it, I'll be there. Look out for Natalia."

* * *

**From:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > Boo! Kohran was looking through the Interwave system, noticed that
    > > Lebia routed this one through Stellvia's store-and-forward node on
    > > purpose, and spotted her own name in it. It's almost as if somebody
    > > wanted me to read your mail...
    > >
    > > (Seriously, we're doing a lot better here; it's been over a month.
    > > Lebia - or you - didn't need to coax us out of our misery this way,
    > > really. But let her know I said thanks for caring about us.)
    >
    >(Glares at Lebia, who looks unrepentant.)
    >Yeah, she knows. It's more for Yoriko's sake IMO, given how well they
    >got on together. Not that I wouldn't have asked if I'd thought of it.
    

Yeah.. Still, we all appreciate it.
    
    
    >Like I've told you before, I may be a hyper-intelligent, inquisitive,
    >and cunning fully functional combat cyborg Noah, but I'm only human.
    

We all have our crosses to bear... <g >
    
    
    >Mal, sorry about this.
    

Yes, I should have sent that to both of you. I though sending it just to A.C. was the better idea, in case she wanted to chastise Lebia in private - sorry, Mal.
    
    
    > > > > > Inopportune? Inopportune is letting Kohran & Eddie become friends,
    > > > > > although it'll be less of a problem now Kohran's more busy.
    > > > >
    > > > > Eddie & Kohran like the 'splody, and I understand that. Hell, *I* like the
    > > > > 'splody - we've got a DVD of nuclear test footage that's a perennial favorite
    > > > > on movie nights. But aside from that both of 'em are largely harmless.
    > > >
    > > > I can point you at a former Rock that says otherwise.
    > >
    > > The one that Kohran destroyed during Worldcon Floating Island, or are
    > > you thinking of something other than the "Kaboomite Incident"?
    >
    >Different one. Kohran gave Eddie some Ideas (yes the capital IS
    >necessary) and, well, I'm not hurting for raw materials at the moment
    >and we're missing an asteroid.
    

One you could spare, I hope.

(I hope Kohran didn't give Eddie any new ideas, from when the Visitors stopped by... Some of what they left behind with her scares *me*, and I've put it into a 50-year lockdown. I can't control what she remembers, though.)
    
    
    > > (Which reminds me - I have to bug Rockhounds about when they're going to
    > > deliver that rock I want to turn into a farm. Can't impose on Grovers'
    > > Corners forever... Do you have any pull with them, A.C.?)
    >
    >I've dinged my contacts, but it doesn't seem likely they'll start
    >outfitting on yours until next year (they have started it however). If
    >you want something sooner it can be arranged, but it'll cost a lot more.
    

I can wait. Thanks.
    
    
    > > > > Dee, OTOH, is something else entirely. I can't say much without betraying
    > > > > some confidences, but her work goes way past the bleeding edge, even past
    > > > > where you & the other Confederation hotshots are.
    > > >
    > > > Given some of the stuff I know about that you probably don't, I'm
    > > > fairly sceptical of that claim. I'll let it slide for now.
    > >
    > > Sora's seen at least part of your setup, and she'll be seeing at least
    > > part of Mal's. Shall we wait for her decision on the matter?
    >
    >Much as hate to say it, Sora probably has no idea some of the Deep
    >Black stuff Mal or I have available.
    

That's okay. You don't know everything we've got, either. (I hope. Kaboomite is nasty stuff, and I don't want to see you hurt yourself trying to duplicate it).
    
    
    > > > > Yeah, okay. Let's do this thing.
    > > >
    > > > When do you want delivery?
    > >
    > > Before mine, if it matters. Mal's on a tighter deadline than I am, and
    > > I still owe him a few favors.
    >
    >Not much. Lebia's working on the custom requirements right now, but his
    >is virtually ready to go.
    >
    > > > Um... We do NOW. We've got an X-Ray lithograph working, and Lebia had
    > > > some ideas. It's still in early prototyping ATM, so it's not available
    > > > (and all credit to Dee, but she's nowhere near powerful enough to run
    > > > this thing anyway).
    > >
    > > Mind if I send Kohran over to give that rig a test? She and I have a
    > > pet project going on based on some of the tech specs that the Visitors
    > > left in our database, and we could make use of an x-ray litho setup for
    > > a few days, right now. I'll let you keep copies of the basic 'droid specs.
    >
    >Give us a few days to clean up the thing. We're still working out some
    >nasty quirks.
    

Can do, and thanks.
    
    
    > > And if that isn't a big enough a carrot: If Kohran's reading it right,
    > > there's something in the Visitors' tech database that might help you
    > > improve that x-ray lithograph gear. How's a potential 3% increase in
    > > fine resolution sound?
    >
    >Nice. ^_- It might stop Leonard's foray into gamma-tech for a while.
    

Er... yeah. You're *definitely* getting a copy of those specs, then. No charge.

(Washuu only knows what gamma would do to your 'wavium body. Remember all those old Marvel Comics characters that got into a lot of grief from gamma irradiation? I'll bet the handwavium does...)
    
    
    > > > Anyway, the smallest effective one we can do is 12cm in diameter and
    > > > 20cm tall. Had to offload the processing to an external core though.
    > > > The standard manipulators on all of these are 1mm, accurate to about
    > > > half that. We do have tools for greater accuracy, as well as
    > > > specialised manipulator extensions.
    > >
    > > 4.7"x7.8"? For a bushbot? I'll take a half-dozen, after you've filled
    > > Mal's order. (We already have an external processor, named Kohran...)
    >
    >General or specialised electronic like Mal's put me onto?
    

Yes.

Okay, okay - an assortment of different styles, please. Whatever you think Kohran could make use of (and we all know she's a Smart Girl.)
    
    
    > > > > > > I'll be interested to know who ends up with whose horse this time.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > Why Mal, I didn't know you were so kinky. ^_-
    > >
    > > If this "horse" is what I think it is, you can tell Mal. He's
    > > co-funding Section 9.
    >
    >I believe KJ's handling it for him, so Mal probably already knows.
    

You've got KJ in the loop on this, Mal? That'll make talking with him easier once you've headed to Delta Pavonis...
    
    
    > > >P.S. When's your promotion party?
    > >
    > > We could all use a break. How about you, me, Mal, and whoever each of
    > > us wants to invite as an escort all hit Fantasy Island for a couple of
    > > days before the VVS leaves, and tweak Suzumiya's nose a bit? My treat.
    >
    >They got that running?
    

According to what Star overheard on her last run 'Daneside, the grand opening's next week.
    
    
    >Anyway, Mal's already got plans. Specifically:
    >
    >" > We don't make a huge deal about these things, but if you're in the
    > > neighborhood of the 250K Saloon next Friday around 20:00 KST you're more
    > > than welcome to hoist a beer with the various new Colonels an' whatnot.
    >
    >If I can make it, I'll be there. Look out for Natalia."
    

Sounds like a party to crash, then... if you don't mind, Mal. <g > (At least I can give my little girl a proper sendoff...)

* * *

**From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2014
    
    
    > > What's a rock or two? There's millions of rocks in the solar system
    > > - billions if you count everything between here and Azkaban.
    >
    > Yeah, but it was a BIG rock.
    

Was it settled? If so, then okay, yeah it was Going Too Far. If not, oh well. Gravel's easier to process for ore anyway.

(And if it was a rock Rockhounds had staked out, I am Jack's howls of derisive laughter.)
    
    
    > > Dee... isn't. It's not like she's gonna Skynet or anything, but
    > > she's I think the only AI I've ever met in the system who really
    > > truly *does not think like a human.*
    >
    > Lebia's working on Hardtech A.I.s for her own projects, so this is
    > something we'll keep an eye out for. It'll be interesting.
    

If nothing else it should provide for a certain level of entertainment.
    
    
    > > Still, water under the bridge at this point. I for one welcome my
    > > new robot overlords, etc. If something happens, we'll deal with it
    > > or not.
    >
    > Might be able to cover for that. Depends if Eddie can get working.
    

Meh, I'm honestly not really worried about any sort of "rise of the machines" bullshit scenario like the luddite fen out there (and there's an oxymoron for the fucking books). Even if the AIs do get teh drop on us, it's not like there's a huge amount of people abusing their AI out there, and for every dick AI like Trigon there's hundreds of perfectly decent infomorphs. It's a non-issue as far as I'm concerned.
    
    
    > It's pretty much already paper-trained, but like you said you're
    > busy. Socialisation time is tricky. More is better, but again you're
    > busy. And it's been hanging around the Forge, so it's used to all our
    > foibles. Noah runs a fairly 'Dane operation all told, so Sora's
    > probably still coping with you guys (amongst other things).
    

Yeah, you could say that. I don't think she'll ever come to terms with Hangar One, now that I think about it. Not that I blame her for that; it is a bit disconcerting.
    
    
    > > Figure that'll be done around the end of the month. Right after
    > > SerenityCon would be best, I think, especially if we're going to go
    > > ahead and swap out the relays for the newer models.
    >
    > Probably a good idea. Sora probably needs to finish that work before
    > getting on top of an inquisitive Tachikoma. You got any copies of
    > rules, regs, and operation procedures you can send? I'll have it
    > learn them. If it'll help I'll train it up on the Drone programming
    > tools (unlike the general Tachikoma habit of just taking them over.
    > At least they only do that with inactive ones).
    

Attached the UCJ and our general safety regs. Shouldn't be anything too different from what you've got at the Forge.

Oh, while I'm thinking about it (and because I can't believe I didn't think about it before) can you demil it before sending it over?
    
    
    > This'll be my busiest Con since KandorCon, but unlike that one I
    > won't be running from a couple thousand rampaging Senshi. Depending
    > on how things go I might be unveiling some big surprises.
    

I look forward to the presentations, then.
    
    
    > > > The standard manipulators on all of these are 1mm, accurate to
    > > > about half that. We do have tools for greater accuracy, as well
    > > > as specialised manipulator extensions.
    > >
    > > 1mm's not bad for a first-gen bushbot. 1um would be better,
    > > especially for electronics work, but for general assembly that'd be
    > > fine.
    >
    > For electronics I already have specialised machines, but I can do
    > that if you want. It'll cost a bit more of course, plus the time for
    > us to work up the programming tools.
    

Nah, if we need it we'll figure something out on our own. So far we've been getting by well enough with surplus gear from dirtside, and the more complex stuff... well, we're still working on that.
    
    
    > > Hm... what's the baseline quirk on those, and how do they respond
    > > to outside quirks, especially noise-related ones? Our yard setup is
    > > pretty much self contained, but we've got to have "Powerhouse"
    > > playing on a loop to get it to work right.
    >
    > Quirkwise they're not too bad. The trees like having plants around of
    > course, the crabs need oiling twice a day (but you can use synthetic
    > and get the other drones to apply it), and the squids like shonen ai
    > mangas to read.
    

That's pretty reasonable. Plants might be a little difficult, since the yards at Gagarin are low-pressure environments for safety's sake. Still, a challenge is a challenge.
    
    
    > The only problem I can foresee is they drop in efficiency by 10% a
    > day if they're within 10m of fish products. Living fish are OK, but
    > you may have to cut back on the caviar.
    

  * snrk* I haven't had caviar in years, not since... huh, probably the Yuri's Night '11 party in Paris. Now *that* was a blast.


    
    
    > (Hum... We've got a disused Hydroponics tank, can we farm fish up
    > here? Must look into it.)
    

If you check out the Juvie colonization wiki, they've got a dozen different designs for functional aquaculture tankage. Great stuff, though the variety of fish is a little limited.

(manufacturing one-upping contest snipped, 'cause we could go at that all week and not get anywhere)
    
    
    > > Yeah, I think we're going to want six of the baseline units,
    > > stripped of the usual cruft & ready to plug into the sat frames.
    >
    > They won't be ready until after SerenityCon, good enough?
    

Suits. That'll give us the time we need to refit the frames properly.
    
    
    > > Who has time for relaxation these days? I haven't had a proper day
    > > off since SOS-Con. Between gearing up for the expedition, resorting
    > > all the admin paperwork, briefing the newbies, plus getting all our
    > > ducks in a row for Noah's new shiny... is it any wonder why I'm
    > > wintering in Delta Pavonis?
    >
    > Again, Kettle thou art black. I can get away with being that much a
    > workaholic Mal, what with being a full waveborg.
    

Bah, to quote the poet I'll be mellow when I'm dead. Besides, if I wasn't hopping I'd be dead bored with all the waiting around.
    
    
    > RE: Noah's new shiny, Eddie's sent a few interesting files to KJ if
    > you want a look.
    

Glanced at 'em, interesting stuff that.
    
    
    > > We don't make a huge deal about these things, but if you're in the
    > > neighborhood of the 250K Saloon next Friday around 20:00 KST you're
    > > more than welcome to hoist a beer with the various new Colonels an'
    > > whatnot.
    >
    > If I can make it, I'll be there. Look out for Natalia.
    

Will do.

\--Mal

* * *

**To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > Mal, sorry about this.
    >
    > Yes, I should have sent that to both of you. I though sending it just
    > to A.C. was the better idea, in case she wanted to chastise Lebia in
    > private - sorry, Mal.
    

Well, I'll forgive it at least this once. However, if Lebia goes snooping in our system & finds a logic bomb or two, it's her own damn fault.
    
    
    > > Much as hate to say it, Sora probably has no idea some of the Deep
    > > Black stuff Mal or I have available.
    >
    > That's okay. You don't know everything we've got, either. (I hope.
    > Kaboomite is nasty stuff, and I don't want to see you hurt yourself
    > trying to duplicate it).
    

Pfft. You lot are busy worrying about *weapons.* Over here we have *real* problems.
    
    
    > > I believe KJ's handling it for him, so Mal probably already knows.
    >
    > You've got KJ in the loop on this, Mal? That'll make talking with him
    > easier once you've headed to Delta Pavonis...
    

He's not 100% in the loop, since he's still planning on leading the MARS units in the field until major hostilities are over. But he knows enough about our long-range plans that he can fill in for me easily enough.
    
    
    > > Anyway, Mal's already got plans. Specifically:
    

(snip)
    
    
    > > If I can make it, I'll be there. Look out for Natalia."
    >
    > Sounds like a party to crash, then... if you don't mind, Mal. (At
    > least I can give my little girl a proper sendoff...)
    

Well, just keep the number of gatecrashers low. Plus, the Colonial Fleet's gonna be in town this week (joint exercise with the Warsies, IIRC) so there's a 50/50 chance of a bar brawl with a gaggle of rowdy milfen. Wear good stomping boots & clothes you wouldn't mind getting beer and/or blood on. It'll be fun!

\--Mal

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > Was it settled? If so, then okay, yeah it was Going Too Far. If not,
    > oh well. Gravel's easier to process for ore anyway.
    >
    > (And if it was a rock Rockhounds had staked out, I am Jack's howls
    > of derisive laughter.)
    

Non-settled, non-claimed, not much use. Which is why I haven't yanked Eddie from the Stallion.
    
    
    > Meh, I'm honestly not really worried about any sort of "rise of the
    > machines" bullshit scenario like the luddite fen out there (and there's
    > an oxymoron for the fucking books). Even if the AIs do get teh drop
    > on us, it's not like there's a huge amount of people abusing their AI
    > out there, and for every dick AI like Trigon there's hundreds of
    > perfectly decent infomorphs. It's a non-issue as far as I'm concerned.
    

Virtually all of the Cybers would agree, including me. I'm just paranoid.
    
    
    > Attached the UCJ and our general safety regs. Shouldn't be anything
    > too different from what you've got at the Forge.
    >
    > Oh, while I'm thinking about it (and because I can't believe I didn't
    > think about it before) can you demil it before sending it over?
    

Done.
    
    
    > > Quirkwise they're not too bad. The trees like having plants around of
    > > course, the crabs need oiling twice a day (but you can use synthetic
    > > and get the other drones to apply it), and the squids like shonen ai
    > > mangas to read.
    >
    > That's pretty reasonable. Plants might be a little difficult, since the yards
    > at Gagarin are low-pressure environments for safety's sake. Still, a
    > challenge is a challenge.
    

Greenpeace can supply these, so I'll include some.
    
    
    > > (Hum... We've got a disused Hydroponics tank, can we farm fish up
    > > here? Must look into it.)
    >
    > If you check out the Juvie colonization wiki, they've got a dozen different
    > designs for functional aquaculture tankage. Great stuff, though the variety
    > of fish is a little limited.
    

Thanks. We can work on that.
    
    
    > (manufacturing one-upping contest snipped, 'cause we could go at that
    > all week and not get anywhere)
    

True. Let's agree to disagree here. Thanks for the argument anyway, made me feel almost normal.

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > > Mal, sorry about this.
    > >
    > > Yes, I should have sent that to both of you. I though sending it just
    > > to A.C. was the better idea, in case she wanted to chastise Lebia in
    > > private - sorry, Mal.
    >
    > Well, I'll forgive it at least this once. However, if Lebia goes snooping
    > in our system & finds a logic bomb or two, it's her own damn fault.
    

Consider Lebia duly chastised now, and I hope she never HAS to do that Mal.
    
    
    > > > Much as hate to say it, Sora probably has no idea some of the Deep
    > > > Black stuff Mal or I have available.
    > >
    > > That's okay. You don't know everything we've got, either. (I hope.
    > > Kaboomite is nasty stuff, and I don't want to see you hurt yourself
    > > trying to duplicate it).
    >
    > Pfft. You lot are busy worrying about *weapons.* Over here we have
    > *real* problems.
    

No comment.
    
    
    > > > If I can make it, I'll be there. Look out for Natalia."
    > >
    > > Sounds like a party to crash, then... if you don't mind, Mal. (At
    > > least I can give my little girl a proper sendoff...)
    >
    > Well, just keep the number of gatecrashers low. Plus, the Colonial
    > Fleet's gonna be in town this week (joint exercise with the Warsies,
    > IIRC) so there's a 50/50 chance of a bar brawl with a gaggle of rowdy
    > milfen. Wear good stomping boots & clothes you wouldn't mind getting
    > beer and/or blood on. It'll be fun!
    

Not Sora's thing Mal. If the place is good enough for you, it's good enough for KCPD. :-)

* * *

**From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > (And if it was a rock Rockhounds had staked out, I am Jack's howls
    > > of derisive laughter.)
    >
    > Non-settled, non-claimed, not much use. Which is why I haven't yanked
    > Eddie from the Stallion.
    

Well, there you go then.
    
    
    > > Oh, while I'm thinking about it (and because I can't believe I
    > > didn't think about it before) can you demil it before sending it
    > > over?
    >
    > Done.
    

Excellent. Not much use for heavy weapons on a deep space expedition, after all, and no sense in tempting fate.
    
    
    > > That's pretty reasonable. Plants might be a little difficult, since
    > > the yards at Gagarin are low-pressure environments for safety's
    > > sake. Still, a challenge is a challenge.
    >
    > Greenpeace can supply these, so I'll include some.
    

Now I'm curious.
    
    
    > > (manufacturing one-upping contest snipped, 'cause we could go at
    > > that all week and not get anywhere)
    >
    > True. Let's agree to disagree here. Thanks for the argument anyway,
    > made me feel almost normal.
    

Y'know, at some point we ought to collaborate on some sort of huge engineering project, something that's completely insane, cost more money than Noah's got in his piggy bank and would change the landscape of Fenspace forever. Maybe after the war's over and the expedition's come home we can knock a few ideas together, yeah?

\--Mal

* * *

**To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > Well, I'll forgive it at least this once. However, if Lebia goes
    > > snooping in our system & finds a logic bomb or two, it's her own
    > > damn fault.
    >
    > Consider Lebia duly chastised now, and I hope she never HAS to do
    > that Mal.
    

  * shrug* If she doesn't go snooping, nothing will happen. We all have our secrets.


    
    
    > > Pfft. You lot are busy worrying about *weapons.* Over here we have
    > > *real* problems.
    >
    > No comment.
    

  * pleasant grin*


    
    
    > > Well, just keep the number of gatecrashers low. Plus, the Colonial
    > > Fleet's gonna be in town this week (joint exercise with the
    > > Warsies, IIRC) so there's a 50/50 chance of a bar brawl with a
    > > gaggle of rowdy milfen. Wear good stomping boots & clothes you
    > > wouldn't mind getting beer and/or blood on. It'll be fun!
    >
    > Not Sora's thing Mal. If the place is good enough for you, it's good
    > enough for KCPD.
    

Hey, it's not *my* fault that whenever the Colonials show up in town a gaggle of their bravos wander into a bar & start talking smack about "toaster-loving traitors" and whatnot. I'm a man of peace and good will, but even my monstrous patience has limits. Thankfully, no matter how bellicose a Viper hotshot might get, a shockrod to the testicles calms 'em down much like any other guy.

\--Mal

* * *

**To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **From:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > > Well, I'll forgive it at least this once. However, if Lebia goes
    > > > snooping in our system & finds a logic bomb or two, it's her own
    > > > damn fault.
    > >
    > > Consider Lebia duly chastised now, and I hope she never HAS to do
    > > that Mal.
    >
    >*shrug* If she doesn't go snooping, nothing will happen. We all have
    >our secrets.
    >
    > > > Pfft. You lot are busy worrying about *weapons.* Over here we have
    > > > *real* problems.
    > >
    > > No comment.
    >
    >*pleasant grin*
    

A.C., what Mal isn't saying is your "no comment", in this circle, makes it obvious you've got something to hide.

Do I have something to hide? Consider who blew through here a month and a half ago. Consider who ferried them around, and talked with them. Of

  * course* I have something to hide! And I'm keeping it secret because I



don't want the Boskonians getting hold of it.

Speaking of which... Mal, can you take a sealed ten-petabyte memory module with you to Delta Pavonis, and *leave it there*? It's a master copy of a little something I'm going to spring on Serenity-Con. <g >

Sora asked me for permission to share what she learned with you folks. I told her that for most things, then it's okay. Please don't press her on the weapons tech, okay? Sora really doesn't like violence. (What did I ever do to deserve a wonderful daughter like Sora? Yeah, I know - A.C. and I built her...)
    
    
    > > > Well, just keep the number of gatecrashers low. Plus, the Colonial
    > > > Fleet's gonna be in town this week (joint exercise with the
    > > > Warsies, IIRC) so there's a 50/50 chance of a bar brawl with a
    > > > gaggle of rowdy milfen. Wear good stomping boots & clothes you
    > > > wouldn't mind getting beer and/or blood on. It'll be fun!
    > >
    > > Not Sora's thing Mal. If the place is good enough for you, it's good
    > > enough for KCPD.
    >
    >Hey, it's not *my* fault that whenever the Colonials show up in town a
    >gaggle of their bravos wander into a bar & start talking smack about
    >"toaster-loving traitors" and whatnot. I'm a man of peace and good
    >will, but even my monstrous patience has limits. Thankfully, no matter
    >how bellicose a Viper hotshot might get, a shockrod to the testicles
    >calms 'em down much like any other guy.
    

Some of them aren't guys... Which reminds me: Some Colonials put in for shore leave on Stellvia last week, and they brought along a new fan who vaugely looked not unlike a young Jane Seymor - she called herself "Serina". She seemed like a good kid, and she was looking for work as a pilot. We're giving her a flight test next week. If either of you are interested and she's any good, I'll send you her Interwave contact info. (There was a group of BGC fen visiting the main concourse at the same time the Galacticans were there. Promise me I won't have to listen to any more "Boomer" jokes, please.)

* * *

**To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > > > Pfft. You lot are busy worrying about *weapons.* Over here we
    > > > > have *real* problems.
    > > >
    > > > No comment.
    > >
    > > *pleasant grin*
    >
    > A.C., what Mal isn't saying is your "no comment", in this circle,
    > makes it obvious you've got something to hide.
    >
    > Do I have something to hide? Consider who blew through here a month
    > and a half ago. Consider who ferried them around, and talked with
    > them. Of *course* I have something to hide! And I'm keeping it secret
    > because I don't want the Boskonians getting hold of it.
    >
    > Speaking of which... Mal, can you take a sealed ten-petabyte memory
    > module with you to Delta Pavonis, and *leave it there*? It's a master
    > copy of a little something I'm going to spring on Serenity-Con.
    

Seems a bit extreme for an offsite backup, but I suppose it would be possible. I can't guarantee the module's safety and/or stability once we've left the system, though. "Secure" for me would be "locked in the warden's safe in Azkaban," not "dumped unsecured into an unpatrolled solar system." Still, it's your ass.
    
    
    > Sora asked me for permission to share what she learned with you
    > folks. I told her that for most things, then it's okay. Please don't
    > press her on the weapons tech, okay? Sora really doesn't like
    > violence. (What did I ever do to deserve a wonderful daughter like
    > Sora? Yeah, I know - A.C. and I built her...)
    

At the moment we've got plenty of perfectly servicable weapons (not to mention a perfectly servicable weapons tech) and we don't have anything to mount a reflex cannon on anyway, so that's no big worry. As for learning new things, you okay with me skipping the middleman and just going straight to the module for the goods? Less hassle that way, and it's ~100% likely Sora will end up lending a hand on the project anyway when we're on the ground.
    
    
    > > Hey, it's not *my* fault that whenever the Colonials show up in
    > > town a gaggle of their bravos wander into a bar & start talking
    > > smack about "toaster-loving traitors" and whatnot. I'm a man of
    > > peace and good will, but even my monstrous patience has limits.
    > > Thankfully, no matter how bellicose a Viper hotshot might get, a
    > > shockrod to the testicles calms 'em down much like any other guy.
    >
    > Some of them aren't guys... Which reminds me: Some Colonials put in
    > for shore leave on Stellvia last week, and they brought along a new
    > fan who vaugely looked not unlike a young Jane Seymor - she called
    > herself "Serina". She seemed like a good kid, and she was looking for
    > work as a pilot. We're giving her a flight test next week. If either
    > of you are interested and she's any good, I'll send you her Interwave
    > contact info. (There was a group of BGC fen visiting the main
    > concourse at the same time the Galacticans were there. Promise me I
    > won't have to listen to any more "Boomer" jokes, please.)
    

We could probably use the pilots, but I think I'm going to take a pass. Galacticans as a breed aren't very AI-friendly and we're up to our eyeballs in infomorphs over here (hence the bar fights).

\--Mal

* * *

**To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **From:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > Speaking of which... Mal, can you take a sealed ten-petabyte memory
    > > module with you to Delta Pavonis, and *leave it there*? It's a master
    > > copy of a little something I'm going to spring on Serenity-Con.
    
    
    
    > Seems a bit extreme for an offsite backup, but I suppose it would be
    > possible. I can't guarantee the module's safety and/or stability once
    > we've left the system, though. "Secure" for me would be "locked in the
    > warden's safe in Azkaban," not "dumped unsecured into an unpatrolled
    > solar system." Still, it's your ass.
    

Oh, I'm going to do that, too. I just want this data to have a decent chance of surviving us, and that means at least one off-site storage location. I'd drop more of these in other systems if I could swing it.
    
    
    > > Sora asked me for permission to share what she learned with you
    > > folks. I told her that for most things, then it's okay. Please don't
    > > press her on the weapons tech, okay? Sora really doesn't like
    > > violence. (What did I ever do to deserve a wonderful daughter like
    > > Sora? Yeah, I know - A.C. and I built her...)
    
    
    
    > At the moment we've got plenty of perfectly servicable weapons (not to
    > mention a perfectly servicable weapons tech) and we don't have
    > anything to mount a reflex cannon on anyway, so that's no big worry.
    > As for learning new things, you okay with me skipping the middleman
    > and just going straight to the module for the goods? Less hassle that
    > way, and it's ~100% likely Sora will end up lending a hand on the
    > project anyway when we're on the ground.
    

Well, the whole point to sealing the module was to keep the radiation out, long-term... but I guess Sora can re-seal it once you're there. (Assuming you're taking a roll of gold foil at least 7mm thick, a tube of plain-white pre-mixed PolyFilla, and some raw handwavium, that is. The radiation block doesn't seem to come into existance if you use the mix-it-yourself PolyFilla.) Or I could give you a second copy of the data. Either way, knock yourself out.

Speaking of perfectly-servicable techs, Sora needs monthly maintenance. She has her own specs, but I'll give you a copy of them anyway before you leave.
    
    
    > > Some of them aren't guys... Which reminds me: Some Colonials put in
    > > for shore leave on Stellvia last week, and they brought along a new
    > > fan who vaugely looked not unlike a young Jane Seymor - she called
    > > herself "Serina". She seemed like a good kid, and she was looking for
    > > work as a pilot. We're giving her a flight test next week. If either
    > > of you are interested and she's any good, I'll send you her Interwave
    > > contact info. (There was a group of BGC fen visiting the main
    > > concourse at the same time the Galacticans were there. Promise me I
    > > won't have to listen to any more "Boomer" jokes, please.)
    
    
    
    > We could probably use the pilots, but I think I'm going to take a
    > pass. Galacticans as a breed aren't very AI-friendly and we're up to
    > our eyeballs in infomorphs over here (hence the bar fights).
    

And I'm not? (Then again, my "angels" look human.) Besides, Serina may have been with some Colonials, but she seemed to still have the "gosh wow" attitude of a new Fan as well.

But why am I trying to get you to hire her? If she's any good, I'll probably hire her myself, for the right-hand seat on the Ad Astra.

Noah

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > > That's pretty reasonable. Plants might be a little difficult, since
    > > > the yards at Gagarin are low-pressure environments for safety's
    > > > sake. Still, a challenge is a challenge.
    > >
    > > Greenpeace can supply these, so I'll include some.
    >
    > Now I'm curious.
    

Greenpeace and the Jason got to talking, and then to trading, and...

Well, the Dyson Tree Greenpeace attempted isn't growing fast enough for anyone to worry about and she's working on varieties of his space capable plants for the early Mars farming projects in her spare time.
    
    
    >Y'know, at some point we ought to collaborate on some sort of huge
    > engineering project, something that's completely insane, cost more
    > money than Noah's got in his piggy bank and would change the
    > landscape of Fenspace forever. Maybe after the war's over and the
    > expedition's come home we can knock a few ideas together, yeah?
    

Sounds like fun.

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > > > Pfft. You lot are busy worrying about *weapons.* Over here we have
    > > > > *real* problems.
    > > >
    > > > No comment.
    > >
    > > *pleasant grin*
    >
    > A.C., what Mal isn't saying is your "no comment", in this circle, makes
    > it obvious you've got something to hide.
    

Actually, I was trying NOT to comment on what Mal considers a '*real* problem'.

Of course I have something to hide. EVERYBODY has something to hide, even if it's just from themselves (been there, done that). Keeping secret how secret those secrets are is S.O.P. for most people.
    
    
    > Do I have something to hide? Consider who blew through here a month and
    > a half ago. Consider who ferried them around, and talked with them. Of
    > *course* I have something to hide! And I'm keeping it secret because I
    > don't want the Boskonians getting hold of it.
    

Reason #50 for keeping secrets.
    
    
    > Speaking of which... Mal, can you take a sealed ten-petabyte memory
    > module with you to Delta Pavonis, and *leave it there*? It's a master
    > copy of a little something I'm going to spring on Serenity-Con.
    >
    

You going to let that loose then? Well, at least this con will be buzzing.
    
    
    > Some of them aren't guys... Which reminds me: Some Colonials put in for
    > shore leave on Stellvia last week, and they brought along a new fan who
    > vaugely looked not unlike a young Jane Seymor - she called herself
    > "Serina". She seemed like a good kid, and she was looking for work as a
    > pilot. We're giving her a flight test next week. If either of you are
    > interested and she's any good, I'll send you her Interwave contact info.
    

Don't need a test pilot right now. Eddie's busy on other things, and not on ship designs at the moment. And Lebia's finished working on the Thunderhawks.
    
    
    > (There was a group of BGC fen visiting the main concourse at the same
    > time the Galacticans were there. Promise me I won't have to listen to
    > any more "Boomer" jokes, please.)
    

  * Wince* Isn't that cruel and unusual punishment?



I'll be bringing my whip and some Mellow bombs. Consider yourself warned.

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > Seems a bit extreme for an offsite backup, but I suppose it would be
    > > possible. I can't guarantee the module's safety and/or stability once
    > > we've left the system, though. "Secure" for me would be "locked in the
    > > warden's safe in Azkaban," not "dumped unsecured into an unpatrolled
    > > solar system." Still, it's your ass.
    >
    > Oh, I'm going to do that, too. I just want this data to have a decent
    > chance of surviving us, and that means at least one off-site storage
    > location. I'd drop more of these in other systems if I could swing it.
    

Backups are good. Backups are nice. Backups can be a pain in the ass.
    
    
    > Well, the whole point to sealing the module was to keep the radiation
    > out, long-term... but I guess Sora can re-seal it once you're there.
    > (Assuming you're taking a roll of gold foil at least 7mm thick, a tube
    > of plain-white pre-mixed PolyFilla, and some raw handwavium, that is.
    > The radiation block doesn't seem to come into existance if you use the
    > mix-it-yourself PolyFilla.) Or I could give you a second copy of the
    > data. Either way, knock yourself out.
    

I was offered a copy of this as well Noah, but I pointed them in your direction. I know myself well enough to understand I'd go into it and not come out for months. Hence, I'm working on other stuff so I don't get obsessed when you do release it.
    
    
    > Speaking of perfectly-servicable techs, Sora needs monthly maintenance.
    > She has her own specs, but I'll give you a copy of them anyway before
    > you leave.
    

That's an awful pun Noah. Unfortunately true, but still. Too bad we're so busy, or I'd offer some upgrades to match Kasumi and Lebia (Greenpeace is too biological, and I doubt they want to match Andy).
    
    
    > > We could probably use the pilots, but I think I'm going to take a
    > > pass. Galacticans as a breed aren't very AI-friendly and we're up to
    > > our eyeballs in infomorphs over here (hence the bar fights).
    >
    > And I'm not? (Then again, my "angels" look human.) Besides, Serina may
    > have been with some Colonials, but she seemed to still have the "gosh
    > wow" attitude of a new Fan as well.
    

<wistful > Ah, those were the days... Life was clean and simple, no-one had heard of Boskonians, and I couldn't win beauty contests. </wistful >
    
    
    > But why am I trying to get you to hire her? If she's any good, I'll
    > probably hire her myself, for the right-hand seat on the Ad Astra.
    

Because gosh-darn-it you're a nice guy? And it gets you kisses?

* * *

**From:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013

Replying to two messages at once...
    
    
    > > > > > Pfft. You lot are busy worrying about *weapons.* Over here we have
    > > > > > *real* problems.
    > > > >
    > > > > No comment.
    > > >
    > > > *pleasant grin*
    > >
    > > A.C., what Mal isn't saying is your "no comment", in this circle, makes
    > > it obvious you've got something to hide.
    >
    >Actually, I was trying NOT to comment on what Mal considers a '*real*
    >problem'.
    >
    >Of course I have something to hide. EVERYBODY has something to hide,
    >even if it's just from themselves (been there, done that). Keeping
    >secret how secret those secrets are is S.O.P. for most people.
    >
    > > Do I have something to hide? Consider who blew through here a month and
    > > a half ago. Consider who ferried them around, and talked with them. Of
    > > *course* I have something to hide! And I'm keeping it secret because I
    > > don't want the Boskonians getting hold of it.
    >
    >Reason #50 for keeping secrets.
    >
    > > Speaking of which... Mal, can you take a sealed ten-petabyte memory
    > > module with you to Delta Pavonis, and *leave it there*? It's a master
    > > copy of a little something I'm going to spring on Serenity-Con.
    > >
    >
    >You going to let that loose then? Well, at least this con will be
    >buzzing.
    

Yep. Nobody's disrupted a Con this much since the Kaboomite Incident.

(I'm not counting what Suzumiya did with SOS-Con - that was planned, not a disruption.)
    
    
    > > Some of them aren't guys... Which reminds me: Some Colonials put in for
    > > shore leave on Stellvia last week, and they brought along a new fan who
    > > vaugely looked not unlike a young Jane Seymor - she called herself
    > > "Serina". She seemed like a good kid, and she was looking for work as a
    > > pilot. We're giving her a flight test next week. If either of you are
    > > interested and she's any good, I'll send you her Interwave contact info.
    >
    >Don't need a test pilot right now. Eddie's busy on other things, and
    >not on ship designs at the moment. And Lebia's finished working on the
    >Thunderhawks.
    

Ah, okay.

Waitaminute... "Thunderhawks"?
    
    
    > > (There was a group of BGC fen visiting the main concourse at the same
    > > time the Galacticans were there. Promise me I won't have to listen to
    > > any more "Boomer" jokes, please.)
    >
    >*Wince* Isn't that cruel and unusual punishment?
    

It could have been worse - everybody's favorite Seawolf-class sub was in for shore leave the week before. If the arguments were about "Boomer" vs. "boomer" vs. "Boomer", they probably would have trashed Meg's even worse than the actual brawl did.
    
    
    >I'll be bringing my whip and some Mellow bombs. Consider yourself
    >warned.
    

Not my kind of party... I'll just sit in the corner with whoever decides to come with me. (Probably Yayoi.)

Second message...
    
    
    > > > Seems a bit extreme for an offsite backup, but I suppose it would be
    > > > possible. I can't guarantee the module's safety and/or stability once
    > > > we've left the system, though. "Secure" for me would be "locked in the
    > > > warden's safe in Azkaban," not "dumped unsecured into an unpatrolled
    > > > solar system." Still, it's your ass.
    > >
    > > Oh, I'm going to do that, too. I just want this data to have a decent
    > > chance of surviving us, and that means at least one off-site storage
    > > location. I'd drop more of these in other systems if I could swing it.
    >
    >Backups are good. Backups are nice. Backups can be a pain in the ass.
    >
    > > Well, the whole point to sealing the module was to keep the radiation
    > > out, long-term... but I guess Sora can re-seal it once you're there.
    > > (Assuming you're taking a roll of gold foil at least 7mm thick, a tube
    > > of plain-white pre-mixed PolyFilla, and some raw handwavium, that is.
    > > The radiation block doesn't seem to come into existance if you use the
    > > mix-it-yourself PolyFilla.) Or I could give you a second copy of the
    > > data. Either way, knock yourself out.
    >
    >I was offered a copy of this as well Noah, but I pointed them in your
    >direction. I know myself well enough to understand I'd go into it and
    >not come out for months. Hence, I'm working on other stuff so I don't
    >get obsessed when you do release it.
    

Ah, so it's your fault I have to spend a small fortune on making customized copies of this for everyone. Remember that when you don't get a card from me next Life Day.

(Before you ask - the customized copies will have what each person probably can use right away. For example, The Jason won't be getting the cybernetics tech right off, while Wave Convoy won't be getting the biotech in his first batch.)

 
    
    
    > > Speaking of perfectly-servicable techs, Sora needs monthly maintenance.
    > > She has her own specs, but I'll give you a copy of them anyway before
    > > you leave.
    >
    >That's an awful pun Noah. Unfortunately true, but still. Too bad we're
    >so busy, or I'd offer some upgrades to match Kasumi and Lebia
    >(Greenpeace is too biological, and I doubt they want to match Andy).
    

Thanks, but I'm not sure your upgrades would mesh with the upgrades Skuld gave Sora and Yayoi. (Including more Honey than I would have thought wise... or possible. They're never going to forget anything again unless they want to. Mal, you might want to keep that in mind...)

Yes, the upgrades are included in the module. You sure you don't want a copy? <evil grin >
    
    
    > > > We could probably use the pilots, but I think I'm going to take a
    > > > pass. Galacticans as a breed aren't very AI-friendly and we're up to
    > > > our eyeballs in infomorphs over here (hence the bar fights).
    > >
    > > And I'm not? (Then again, my "angels" look human.) Besides, Serina may
    > > have been with some Colonials, but she seemed to still have the "gosh
    > > wow" attitude of a new Fan as well.
    >
    ><wistful >
    >Ah, those were the days... Life was clean and simple, no-one had heard
    >of Boskonians, and I couldn't win beauty contests.
    ></wistful >
    >
    > > But why am I trying to get you to hire her? If she's any good, I'll
    > > probably hire her myself, for the right-hand seat on the Ad Astra.
    >
    >Because gosh-darn-it you're a nice guy? And it gets you kisses?
    

But I don't want kisses from Mal... (Kali or 'Lena, maybe, and I'll never turn down a kiss from Sora, but I don't want one from Mal.)

Noah

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013

<Snip >
    
    
    > > You going to let that loose then? Well, at least this con will be
    > > buzzing.
    >
    > Yep. Nobody's disrupted a Con this much since the Kaboomite Incident.
    >
    > (I'm not counting what Suzumiya did with SOS-Con - that was planned, not
    > a disruption.)
    

It'll probably overshadow some of my own announcements, if I can get what I'm planning to WORK.
    
    
    > Waitaminute... "Thunderhawks"?
    

Something Lebia came up with that I'm thinking about offering to Section 2. She heard about the Virgil Samms whilst we were visiting and wanted to match it. They're specially waved Honda Firebirds with a coilgun side-mounted. She managed to get a couple up to 0.185c, but generally they come out 0.17c.

I'm thinking three types: Civilian (0.17c), Courier (0.18c, easy enough to do), and Patrol (0.185c). Probably mix and match the coilguns on them as well.
    
    
    > > > (There was a group of BGC fen visiting the main concourse at the same
    > > > time the Galacticans were there. Promise me I won't have to listen to
    > > > any more "Boomer" jokes, please.)
    > >
    > > *Wince* Isn't that cruel and unusual punishment?
    >
    > It could have been worse - everybody's favorite Seawolf-class sub was in
    > for shore leave the week before. If the arguments were about "Boomer"
    > vs. "boomer" vs. "Boomer", they probably would have trashed Meg's even
    > worse than the actual brawl did.
    

Are you still interested in some Clay Pigeons? I can put a rush order together. That way if someone tries that again you can have them webbed to a wall or something.
    
    
    > > I'll be bringing my whip and some Mellow bombs. Consider yourself
    > > warned.
    >
    > Not my kind of party... I'll just sit in the corner with whoever decides
    > to come with me. (Probably Yayoi.)
    

Just attempting some crowd control. I'll probably join you congratulating Sora while commiserating Mal and KJ, then we adults can leave and let the rest of them have their fun. I have access to the JLA council chamber if you want somewhere quiet with a view for a couple of hours?
    
    
    > Second message...
    

<snip >
    
    
    > > I was offered a copy of this as well Noah, but I pointed them in your
    > > direction. I know myself well enough to understand I'd go into it and
    > > not come out for months. Hence, I'm working on other stuff so I don't
    > > get obsessed when you do release it.
    >
    > Ah, so it's your fault I have to spend a small fortune on making
    > customized copies of this for everyone. Remember that when you don't
    > get a card from me next Life Day.
    

So noted.
    
    
    > (Before you ask - the customized copies will have what each person
    > probably can use right away. For example, The Jason won't be getting
    > the cybernetics tech right off, while Wave Convoy won't be getting the
    > biotech in his first batch.)
    

It's better than me getting it and disappearing from the Solar System until next year before anyone else learned of it.
    
    
    > > > Speaking of perfectly-servicable techs, Sora needs monthly maintenance.
    > > > She has her own specs, but I'll give you a copy of them anyway before
    > > > you leave.
    > >
    > > That's an awful pun Noah. Unfortunately true, but still. Too bad we're
    > > so busy, or I'd offer some upgrades to match Kasumi and Lebia
    > > (Greenpeace is too biological, and I doubt they want to match Andy).
    >
    > Thanks, but I'm not sure your upgrades would mesh with the upgrades
    > Skuld gave Sora and Yayoi. (Including more Honey than I would have
    > thought wise... or possible. They're never going to forget anything
    > again unless they want to. Mal, you might want to keep that in mind...)
    

Given that I haven't forgotten anything since the Accident, and can't forget, I think I'm a tad envious.

Anyway, I was thinking updating the bio-mimetics, adding a self-repair system, and maybe fixing their eyesight in-between general servicing and whatever they wanted doing. Not sure what else Skuld would have offered that wouldn't need extensive re-work and parts.
    
    
    > Yes, the upgrades are included in the module. You sure you don't want a
    > copy? <evil grin >
    

I'll be a good girl, and wait for my copy.
    
    
    > > > But why am I trying to get you to hire her? If she's any good, I'll
    > > > probably hire her myself, for the right-hand seat on the Ad Astra.
    > >
    > > Because gosh-darn-it you're a nice guy? And it gets you kisses?
    >
    > But I don't want kisses from Mal... (Kali or 'Lena, maybe, and I'll
    > never turn down a kiss from Sora, but I don't want one from Mal.)
    

You sure your head's on straight now Noah? You and Mal? Not an image I'd normally consider.

* * *

**To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Sun July 14th 2013
    
    
    > > Seems a bit extreme for an offsite backup, but I suppose it would be
    > > possible. I can't guarantee the module's safety and/or stability once
    > > we've left the system, though. "Secure" for me would be "locked in the
    > > warden's safe in Azkaban," not "dumped unsecured into an unpatrolled
    > > solar system." Still, it's your ass.
    >
    > Oh, I'm going to do that, too. I just want this data to have a decent
    > chance of surviving us, and that means at least one off-site storage
    > location. I'd drop more of these in other systems if I could swing it.
    

I see. I'd still recommend Azkaban over an outsystem backup, because that chunk of ice will survive the Sun going nova, plus it keeps the module away from randoms who might stumble across it. However, if you're adamant on doing this then I probably can't dissuade you, so what the hell.
    
    
    > > At the moment we've got plenty of perfectly servicable weapons (not to
    > > mention a perfectly servicable weapons tech) and we don't have
    > > anything to mount a reflex cannon on anyway, so that's no big worry.
    > > As for learning new things, you okay with me skipping the middleman
    > > and just going straight to the module for the goods? Less hassle that
    > > way, and it's ~100% likely Sora will end up lending a hand on the
    > > project anyway when we're on the ground.
    >
    > Well, the whole point to sealing the module was to keep the radiation
    > out, long-term... but I guess Sora can re-seal it once you're there.
    > (Assuming you're taking a roll of gold foil at least 7mm thick, a tube
    > of plain-white pre-mixed PolyFilla, and some raw handwavium, that is.
    > The radiation block doesn't seem to come into existance if you use the
    > mix-it-yourself PolyFilla.) Or I could give you a second copy of the
    > data. Either way, knock yourself out.
    

Radiation shielding's not a big thing, all I need is a couple cubic meters of rock as a vault, and if there's one thing we've got a lot of, it's rock.
    
    
    > Speaking of perfectly-servicable techs, Sora needs monthly maintenance.
    > She has her own specs, but I'll give you a copy of them anyway before
    > you leave.
    

I wonder how long you've been waiting to unload that pun. In any case, credit me with at least a *little* preplanning please; Sora's already got her situation well in hand.
    
    
    > > We could probably use the pilots, but I think I'm going to take a
    > > pass. Galacticans as a breed aren't very AI-friendly and we're up to
    > > our eyeballs in infomorphs over here (hence the bar fights).
    >
    > And I'm not? (Then again, my "angels" look human.)
    

Tell you what. If Sora ever invites you to come vist Hangar One, take her up on the offer and then get back to me on that one.
    
    
    > Besides, Serina may
    > have been with some Colonials, but she seemed to still have the "gosh
    > wow" attitude of a new Fan as well.
    

Im'a thinking that just maybe somebody who self-identifies as "Serina" might identify more with the Galacticans than us commie toaster bastards. Just throwing that out. But hey, if you're still hellbent on doing a little pro bono headhunting, throw our HR info in her direction and let the chips fall.

\---
    
    
    > > Not my kind of party... I'll just sit in the corner with whoever
    > > decides to come with me. (Probably Yayoi.)
    >
    > Just attempting some crowd control. I'll probably join you
    > congratulating Sora while commiserating Mal and KJ, then we adults
    > can leave and let the rest of them have their fun. I have access to
    > the JLA council chamber if you want somewhere quiet with a view for a
    > couple of hours?
    

I gotta admit, what's *really* funny is watching the two of you freak out about this when the odds are better than even nothing's going to happen. Look, like any good act of violence it'll happen if it happens. Most likely it won't, which means you'll be carrying all that riot gear for no good reason. And if it *does* happen, it'll be over before you get a chance to use it. So relax and enjoy the sideshow.

\--Mal

* * *

**From:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013
    
    
    >
    >
    > > > You going to let that loose then? Well, at least this con will be
    > > > buzzing.
    > >
    > > Yep. Nobody's disrupted a Con this much since the Kaboomite Incident.
    > >
    > > (I'm not counting what Suzumiya did with SOS-Con - that was planned, not
    > > a disruption.)
    >
    >It'll probably overshadow some of my own announcements, if I can get
    >what I'm planning to WORK.
    

Whatever it is, I'm sure you can manage eventually. You always do.

Is it something I (or Leda) could help you with?
    
    
    > > Waitaminute... "Thunderhawks"?
    >
    >Something Lebia came up with that I'm thinking about offering to
    >Section 2. She heard about the Virgil Samms whilst we were visiting and
    >wanted to match it. They're specially waved Honda Firebirds with a
    >coilgun side-mounted. She managed to get a couple up to 0.185c, but
    >generally they come out 0.17c.
    >I'm thinking three types: Civilian (0.17c), Courier (0.18c, easy enough
    >to do), and Patrol (0.185c). Probably mix and match the coilguns on
    >them as well.
    

Ask Commissioner Russell directly - he knows what he needs better than I do. (Oh, yeah - Towne's hired a Commissionner for the Space Patrol. Trekkie combat veteran, name of Kirk Russell. Yes, *that* Kirk Russell. I thought he was dead, too.)

And I'm not sure I'd arm the civilian version... but I'm relatively safe back here in cislunar space, not up on the front lines like you. You're the person on the spot; you know best.

 
    
    
    > > > > (There was a group of BGC fen visiting the main concourse at the same
    > > > > time the Galacticans were there. Promise me I won't have to listen to
    > > > > any more "Boomer" jokes, please.)
    > > >
    > > > *Wince* Isn't that cruel and unusual punishment?
    > >
    > > It could have been worse - everybody's favorite Seawolf-class sub was in
    > > for shore leave the week before. If the arguments were about "Boomer"
    > > vs. "boomer" vs. "Boomer", they probably would have trashed Meg's even
    > > worse than the actual brawl did.
    >
    >Are you still interested in some Clay Pigeons? I can put a rush order
    >together. That way if someone tries that again you can have them webbed
    >to a wall or something.
    

I'm not sure. Turning the lights out worked well enough to stop the fight (not too many flesh-and-blood people can fight well in the dark), but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have a backup, just in case.

 
    
    
    > > > I'll be bringing my whip and some Mellow bombs. Consider yourself
    > > > warned.
    > >
    > > Not my kind of party... I'll just sit in the corner with whoever decides
    > > to come with me. (Probably Yayoi.)
    >
    >Just attempting some crowd control. I'll probably join you
    >congratulating Sora while commiserating Mal and KJ, then we adults can
    >leave and let the rest of them have their fun. I have access to the JLA
    >council chamber if you want somewhere quiet with a view for a couple of
    >hours?
    

I've seen photos of the JLA council chamber. Maybe we should get Dee to move Mal's commissioning ceremony there? Then we can go someplace a little less opulent for the bash afterwards.

 
    
    
    > > Second message...
    >
    >
    >
    > > > I was offered a copy of this as well Noah, but I pointed them in your
    > > > direction. I know myself well enough to understand I'd go into it and
    > > > not come out for months. Hence, I'm working on other stuff so I don't
    > > > get obsessed when you do release it.
    > >
    > > Ah, so it's your fault I have to spend a small fortune on making
    > > customized copies of this for everyone. Remember that when you don't
    > > get a card from me next Life Day.
    >
    >So noted.
    >
    > > (Before you ask - the customized copies will have what each person
    > > probably can use right away. For example, The Jason won't be getting
    > > the cybernetics tech right off, while Wave Convoy won't be getting the
    > > biotech in his first batch.)
    >
    >It's better than me getting it and disappearing from the Solar System
    >until next year before anyone else learned of it.
    >
    > > > > Speaking of perfectly-servicable techs, Sora needs monthly maintenance.
    > > > > She has her own specs, but I'll give you a copy of them anyway before
    > > > > you leave.
    > > >
    > > > That's an awful pun Noah.
    

I've been making a lot of them lately.
    
    
    > > > Unfortunately true, but still. Too bad we're
    > > > so busy, or I'd offer some upgrades to match Kasumi and Lebia
    > > > (Greenpeace is too biological, and I doubt they want to match Andy).
    > >
    > > Thanks, but I'm not sure your upgrades would mesh with the upgrades
    > > Skuld gave Sora and Yayoi. (Including more Honey than I would have
    > > thought wise... or possible. They're never going to forget anything
    > > again unless they want to. Mal, you might want to keep that in mind...)
    >
    >Given that I haven't forgotten anything since the Accident, and can't
    >forget, I think I'm a tad envious.
    

Some people would kill to have your problem. Then they'd wish they were dead, because of the perfect recall. I don't want that trap, and you have my sympathies.
    
    
    >Anyway, I was thinking updating the bio-mimetics, adding a self-repair
    >system, and maybe fixing their eyesight in-between general servicing
    >and whatever they wanted doing. Not sure what else Skuld would have
    >offered that wouldn't need extensive re-work and parts.
    

Yayoi says she likes herself the way she is, glasses and all. I'm not sure about Sora and Kohran; make the offer and see how they react.

(And I thought we installed a self-repair system in each of the angels when we built them. Unless you're talking about self-healing skin...)
    
    
    > > Yes, the upgrades are included in the module. You sure you don't want a
    > > copy?
    >
    >I'll be a good girl, and wait for my copy.
    

You won't have to wait for too long - your copy is already burned to a set of ultra-violet-ray discs. So is Mal's. (What's giving me conniptions is trying to figure out what the Professor could use right away...)
    
    
    > > > > But why am I trying to get you to hire her? If she's any good, I'll
    > > > > probably hire her myself, for the right-hand seat on the Ad Astra.
    > > >
    > > > Because gosh-darn-it you're a nice guy? And it gets you kisses?
    > >
    > > But I don't want kisses from Mal... (Kali or 'Lena, maybe, and I'll
    > > never turn down a kiss from Sora, but I don't want one from Mal.)
    >
    >You sure your head's on straight now Noah? You and Mal? Not an image
    >I'd normally consider.
    

Nor I, but I have the strangest feeling we have to kiss and make up for something. Damned if I know why... But, yeah, I prefer women.

  
Noah

* * *

**To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **From:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013
    
    
    > > > Seems a bit extreme for an offsite backup, but I suppose it would be
    > > > possible. I can't guarantee the module's safety and/or stability once
    > > > we've left the system, though. "Secure" for me would be "locked in the
    > > > warden's safe in Azkaban," not "dumped unsecured into an unpatrolled
    > > > solar system." Still, it's your ass.
    > >
    > > Oh, I'm going to do that, too. I just want this data to have a decent
    > > chance of surviving us, and that means at least one off-site storage
    > > location. I'd drop more of these in other systems if I could swing it.
    >
    >I see. I'd still recommend Azkaban over an outsystem backup, because
    >that chunk of ice will survive the Sun going nova, plus it keeps the
    >module away from randoms who might stumble across it. However, if
    >you're adamant on doing this then I probably can't dissuade you, so
    >what the hell.
    

Honestly, this stuff's a gold mine - if we apply it properly, it could be as big a social revolution as handwavium was. So I want it backed up in multiple locations.

(If we apply it improperly, it could be as big a social disruption as handwavium was. I'm a bit nervous about that.)

(And if the Boskonians turn it into weaponry... yuck. I'm glad you're taking my little girl out of the line of fire for a few months.)

 
    
    
    > > > At the moment we've got plenty of perfectly servicable weapons (not to
    > > > mention a perfectly servicable weapons tech) and we don't have
    > > > anything to mount a reflex cannon on anyway, so that's no big worry.
    > > > As for learning new things, you okay with me skipping the middleman
    > > > and just going straight to the module for the goods? Less hassle that
    > > > way, and it's ~100% likely Sora will end up lending a hand on the
    > > > project anyway when we're on the ground.
    > >
    > > Well, the whole point to sealing the module was to keep the radiation
    > > out, long-term... but I guess Sora can re-seal it once you're there.
    > > (Assuming you're taking a roll of gold foil at least 7mm thick, a tube
    > > of plain-white pre-mixed PolyFilla, and some raw handwavium, that is.
    > > The radiation block doesn't seem to come into existance if you use the
    > > mix-it-yourself PolyFilla.) Or I could give you a second copy of the
    > > data. Either way, knock yourself out.
    >
    >Radiation shielding's not a big thing, all I need is a couple cubic
    >meters of rock as a vault, and if there's one thing we've got a lot of,
    >it's rock.
    

Oh, yeah - planetary surfaces. I remember living on one of those, years ago...

 
    
    
    > > Speaking of perfectly-servicable techs, Sora needs monthly maintenance.
    > > She has her own specs, but I'll give you a copy of them anyway before
    > > you leave.
    >
    >I wonder how long you've been waiting to unload that pun. In any case,
    >credit me with at least a *little* preplanning please; Sora's already
    >got her situation well in hand.
    

Glad to hear it. But I'm still giving you another copy of Sora's specs, overprotective father that I am. (You don't have to tell her about it, although I suspect she assumes I've already done this...)

 
    
    
    > > > We could probably use the pilots, but I think I'm going to take a
    > > > pass. Galacticans as a breed aren't very AI-friendly and we're up to
    > > > our eyeballs in infomorphs over here (hence the bar fights).
    > >
    > > And I'm not? (Then again, my "angels" look human.)
    >
    >Tell you what. If Sora ever invites you to come vist Hangar One, take
    >her up on the offer and then get back to me on that one.
    

I'll be sure to bring a camera that your security folks can confiscate... and another, hidden, camera. We'll see how good your secops are.

 
    
    
    > > Besides, Serina may
    > > have been with some Colonials, but she seemed to still have the "gosh
    > > wow" attitude of a new Fan as well.
    >
    >Im'a thinking that just maybe somebody who self-identifies as "Serina"
    >might identify more with the Galacticans than us commie toaster
    >bastards. Just throwing that out. But hey, if you're still hellbent on
    >doing a little pro bono headhunting, throw our HR info in her direction
    >and let the chips fall.
    

Hmmmmm... I hadn't considered that. But I'll pass her test scores along next week.
    
    
    >----
    >
    > > > Not my kind of party... I'll just sit in the corner with whoever
    > > > decides to come with me. (Probably Yayoi.)
    > >
    > > Just attempting some crowd control. I'll probably join you
    > > congratulating Sora while commiserating Mal and KJ, then we adults
    > > can leave and let the rest of them have their fun. I have access to
    > > the JLA council chamber if you want somewhere quiet with a view for a
    > > couple of hours?
    >
    >I gotta admit, what's *really* funny is watching the two of you freak
    >out about this when the odds are better than even nothing's going to
    >happen. Look, like any good act of violence it'll happen if it happens.
    >Most likely it won't, which means you'll be carrying all that riot gear
    >for no good reason. And if it *does* happen, it'll be over before you
    >get a chance to use it. So relax and enjoy the sideshow.
    

So I shouldn't bring along my new H&K MP5K SMG, just in case?

Seriously, I'll probably just bring a couple of pompom grenades that Katz gave me. What's a brawl without cheerleaders, after all?

Noah

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013
    
    
    > > > > You going to let that loose then? Well, at least this con will be
    > > > > buzzing.
    > > >
    > > > Yep. Nobody's disrupted a Con this much since the Kaboomite Incident.
    > > >
    > > > (I'm not counting what Suzumiya did with SOS-Con - that was planned, not
    > > > a disruption.)
    > >
    > > It'll probably overshadow some of my own announcements, if I can get
    > > what I'm planning to WORK.
    >
    > Whatever it is, I'm sure you can manage eventually. You always do.
    

Thanks for the vote of confidence.
    
    
    > Is it something I (or Leda) could help you with?
    

Leda could confirm my results for one of them, if I get them, but that's about it. Thanks.
    
    
    > > > Waitaminute... "Thunderhawks"?
    > >
    > > Something Lebia came up with that I'm thinking about offering to
    > > Section 2. She heard about the Virgil Samms whilst we were visiting and
    > > wanted to match it. They're specially waved Honda Firebirds with a
    > > coilgun side-mounted. She managed to get a couple up to 0.185c, but
    > > generally they come out 0.17c.
    > > I'm thinking three types: Civilian (0.17c), Courier (0.18c, easy enough
    > > to do), and Patrol (0.185c). Probably mix and match the coilguns on
    > > them as well.
    >
    > Ask Commissioner Russell directly - he knows what he needs better than I
    > do. (Oh, yeah - Towne's hired a Commissionner for the Space Patrol.
    > Trekkie combat veteran, name of Kirk Russell. Yes, *that* Kirk Russell.
    > I thought he was dead, too.)
    

  * Piku-piku*



...Damn, who's his tailor? Last I heard he took some serious shrapnel last time out and was looking at needing some serious work done if he survived. Although I did hear about an experiment with TOO MUCH quick-heal about then...
    
    
    > And I'm not sure I'd arm the civilian version... but I'm relatively safe
    > back here in cislunar space, not up on the front lines like you. You're
    > the person on the spot; you know best.
    

Yeah well, it's better safe than sorry out here in the Belt. Raids are picking up as well, so every little helps you know?
    
    
    > > > It could have been worse - everybody's favorite Seawolf-class sub was in
    > > > for shore leave the week before. If the arguments were about "Boomer"
    > > > vs. "boomer" vs. "Boomer", they probably would have trashed Meg's even
    > > > worse than the actual brawl did.
    > >
    > > Are you still interested in some Clay Pigeons? I can put a rush order
    > > together. That way if someone tries that again you can have them webbed
    > > to a wall or something.
    >
    > I'm not sure. Turning the lights out worked well enough to stop the
    > fight (not too many flesh-and-blood people can fight well in the dark),
    > but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have a backup, just in case.
    

I still like the image I had when Kasumi suggested we offer them for sale. It was just after you kicked the SOS-dan out, so I pictured them stuck to a wall with you laughing manically to the side.
    
    
    > > Just attempting some crowd control. I'll probably join you
    > > congratulating Sora while commiserating Mal and KJ, then we adults can
    > > leave and let the rest of them have their fun. I have access to the JLA
    > > council chamber if you want somewhere quiet with a view for a couple of
    > > hours?
    >
    > I've seen photos of the JLA council chamber. Maybe we should get Dee to
    > move Mal's commissioning ceremony there? Then we can go someplace a
    > little less opulent for the bash afterwards.
    

If she contacts me I'll get a few hoops removed about hiring it. A few too many for me to escort in otherwise.

<snip >
    
    
    > > > > Unfortunately true, but still. Too bad we're
    > > > > so busy, or I'd offer some upgrades to match Kasumi and Lebia
    > > > > (Greenpeace is too biological, and I doubt they want to match Andy).
    > > >
    > > > Thanks, but I'm not sure your upgrades would mesh with the upgrades
    > > > Skuld gave Sora and Yayoi. (Including more Honey than I would have
    > > > thought wise... or possible. They're never going to forget anything
    > > > again unless they want to. Mal, you might want to keep that in mind...)
    > >
    > > Given that I haven't forgotten anything since the Accident, and can't
    > > forget, I think I'm a tad envious.
    >
    > Some people would kill to have your problem. Then they'd wish they were
    > dead, because of the perfect recall. I don't want that trap, and you
    > have my sympathies.
    

You're being nicer than normal to me throughout this email. One could think you have an ulterior motive. But thanks anyway. Sometimes... Sometimes, it can be a joy like no other to have the sort of recall I have. Others... Well, let's just say I don't particularly like horror films any more.

Most of the time, its damn annoying. Especially with my reaction times and enhanced senses.
    
    
    > > Anyway, I was thinking updating the bio-mimetics, adding a self-repair
    > > system, and maybe fixing their eyesight in-between general servicing
    > > and whatever they wanted doing. Not sure what else Skuld would have
    > > offered that wouldn't need extensive re-work and parts.
    >
    > Yayoi says she likes herself the way she is, glasses and all. I'm not
    > sure about Sora and Kohran; make the offer and see how they react.
    

I was just offering to fix their eyesight so they wouldn't NEED glasses. I'm not suggesting they get RID of them. I must admit I'm curious to see how they'd look without them. They look lovely with them, I'm certain they'd look lovely without them.
    
    
    > (And I thought we installed a self-repair system in each of the angels
    > when we built them. Unless you're talking about self-healing skin...)
    

THIS one will heal skin at about half the rate a normal human would, yes. They'll need the bio-mimetics upgrade for that though. It'll also pretty much eliminate the need for mechanical or electrical maintenance. The girls would only need to do a yoga routine once a week to keep themselves in shape (so to speak), and a twice yearly check up.
    
    
    > > > Yes, the upgrades are included in the module. You sure you don't want a
    > > > copy?
    > >
    > > I'll be a good girl, and wait for my copy.
    >
    > You won't have to wait for too long - your copy is already burned to a
    > set of ultra-violet-ray discs. So is Mal's. (What's giving me conniptions
    > is trying to figure out what the Professor could use right away...)
    

How much theoretical stuff is on there? Throw him some medical tech and some manufacturing tech and some promising theory and he'll probably be happy for a while.

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013
    
    
    > Honestly, this stuff's a gold mine - if we apply it properly, it could
    > be as big a social revolution as handwavium was. So I want it backed up
    > in multiple locations.
    >
    > (If we apply it improperly, it could be as big a social disruption as
    > handwavium was. I'm a bit nervous about that.)
    

So. Same old, same old eh?
    
    
    > > Radiation shielding's not a big thing, all I need is a couple cubic
    > > meters of rock as a vault, and if there's one thing we've got a lot of,
    > > it's rock.
    >
    > Oh, yeah - planetary surfaces. I remember living on one of those, years
    > ago...
    

Fred's willing to rent out a nice beach house down in Oz if you want.

<snip >
    
    
    > > ----
    > >
    > > > > Not my kind of party... I'll just sit in the corner with whoever
    > > > > decides to come with me. (Probably Yayoi.)
    > > >
    > > > Just attempting some crowd control. I'll probably join you
    > > > congratulating Sora while commiserating Mal and KJ, then we adults
    > > > can leave and let the rest of them have their fun. I have access to
    > > > the JLA council chamber if you want somewhere quiet with a view for a
    > > > couple of hours?
    > >
    > >I gotta admit, what's *really* funny is watching the two of you freak
    > > out about this when the odds are better than even nothing's going to
    > > happen. Look, like any good act of violence it'll happen if it happens.
    > > Most likely it won't, which means you'll be carrying all that riot gear
    > > for no good reason. And if it *does* happen, it'll be over before you
    > > get a chance to use it. So relax and enjoy the sideshow.
    

Mal, please go back and read what you've written. Then bang your head against a safe, solid surface 10 times for jinxing us.
    
    
    > Seriously, I'll probably just bring a couple of pompom grenades that
    > Katz gave me. What's a brawl without cheerleaders, after all?
    

A brawl *with* cheerleaders is usually called sport.

* * *

**To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **From:** Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013
    
    
    > > I see. I'd still recommend Azkaban over an outsystem backup,
    > > because that chunk of ice will survive the Sun going nova, plus it
    > > keeps the module away from randoms who might stumble across it.
    > > However, if you're adamant on doing this then I probably can't
    > > dissuade you, so what the hell.
    >
    > Honestly, this stuff's a gold mine - if we apply it properly, it
    > could be as big a social revolution as handwavium was. So I want it
    > backed up in multiple locations.
    

Well, that could be exciting, I suppose.
    
    
    > (If we apply it improperly, it could be as big a social disruption as
    > handwavium was. I'm a bit nervous about that.)
    

Pfft, disruptions always happen. If it's not this, it'll be Greenland sliding into the Atlantic next week or some other damn thing. Buy the ticket, take the ride.
    
    
    > (And if the Boskonians turn it into weaponry... yuck. I'm glad you're
    > taking my little girl out of the line of fire for a few months.)
    

I personally am not worried about weaponry, because frankly if Boskone was better at it than we are, they'd have already won. Let the honorless weaselfuckers come ahead, we'll beat the shit out of them every time.
    
    
    > > Radiation shielding's not a big thing, all I need is a couple cubic
    > > meters of rock as a vault, and if there's one thing we've got a
    > > lot of, it's rock.
    >
    > Oh, yeah - planetary surfaces. I remember living on one of those,
    > years ago...
    

Not even that, just one chunk of grade-A interplanetary rock about a meter across provides as much radiation shielding as fifty miles of atmosphere. Haven't you ever been to Alpha? They've got the entire city done up like that; s' brilliant use of available resources. Okay, so you don't get the vistas you get with the Dome, but still.
    
    
    > > > And I'm not? (Then again, my "angels" look human.)
    > >
    > > Tell you what. If Sora ever invites you to come vist Hangar One,
    > > take her up on the offer and then get back to me on that one.
    >
    > I'll be sure to bring a camera that your security folks can
    > confiscate... and another, hidden, camera. We'll see how good your
    > secops are.
    

  * snrk* You can take as many pictures of the Hole as you want. Take the pictures, sell 'em to the Illuminator, hell put up a Myspace page with them - nobody will ever fucking *believe* you no matter how much photographic evidence you have. "L'audace, l'audace, toujours l'audace" isn't just a neat thing to say in French, we've adopted it as EXFOR OPSEC protocol and raised it to a fucking *art form*.



Of course, audacity only goes so far; if you were to try and *start* something, well... GLaDOS is always looking for new lab rats. Hope you like cake.
    
    
    > > I gotta admit, what's *really* funny is watching the two of you
    > > freak out about this when the odds are better than even nothing's
    > > going to happen. Look, like any good act of violence it'll happen
    > > if it happens. Most likely it won't, which means you'll be carrying
    > > all that riot gear for no good reason. And if it *does* happen,
    > > it'll be over before you get a chance to use it. So relax and enjoy
    > > the sideshow.
    >
    > So I shouldn't bring along my new H&K MP5K SMG, just in case?
    

Overkill. Only the bartender is allowed to have heavy weaponry.
    
    
    > Mal, please go back and read what you've written. Then bang your head
    > against a safe, solid surface 10 times for jinxing us.
    

Leave your bourgeois superstitions at the door. You're rolling with the Soviets.

\--Mal

* * *

**From:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013

  
It's multiple-reply time again...

A.C., #1:
    
    
    > > > It'll probably overshadow some of my own announcements, if I can get
    > > > what I'm planning to WORK.
    > >
    > > Whatever it is, I'm sure you can manage eventually. You always do.
    >
    >Thanks for the vote of confidence.
    >
    > > Is it something I (or Leda) could help you with?
    >
    >Leda could confirm my results for one of them, if I get them, but
    >that's about it. Thanks.
    

Let her know when/if you're ready.

 
    
    
    > > > > Waitaminute... "Thunderhawks"?
    > > >
    > > > Something Lebia came up with that I'm thinking about offering to
    > > > Section 2. She heard about the Virgil Samms whilst we were visiting and
    > > > wanted to match it. They're specially waved Honda Firebirds with a
    > > > coilgun side-mounted. She managed to get a couple up to 0.185c, but
    > > > generally they come out 0.17c.
    > > > I'm thinking three types: Civilian (0.17c), Courier (0.18c, easy enough
    > > > to do), and Patrol (0.185c). Probably mix and match the coilguns on
    > > > them as well.
    > >
    > > Ask Commissioner Russell directly - he knows what he needs better than I
    > > do. (Oh, yeah - Towne's hired a Commissionner for the Space Patrol.
    > > Trekkie combat veteran, name of Kirk Russell. Yes, *that* Kirk Russell.
    > > I thought he was dead, too.)
    >
    >*Piku-piku*
    >...Damn, who's his tailor? Last I heard he took some serious shrapnel
    >last time out and was looking at needing some serious work done if he
    >survived. Although I did hear about an experiment with TOO MUCH
    >quick-heal about then...
    

That *would* explain the boyish good looks, and the snake tattoo. I wonder if he actually did get a biomod...

 
    
    
    > > And I'm not sure I'd arm the civilian version... but I'm relatively safe
    > > back here in cislunar space, not up on the front lines like you. You're
    > > the person on the spot; you know best.
    >
    >Yeah well, it's better safe than sorry out here in the Belt. Raids are
    >picking up as well, so every little helps you know?
    

Shit. Nobody tells me anything any more. If you all need a place to relax for a week or two away from the front, I can find you a suite in my hotel.

<snip >

 
    
    
    > > > Are you still interested in some Clay Pigeons? I can put a rush order
    > > > together. That way if someone tries that again you can have them webbed
    > > > to a wall or something.
    > >
    > > I'm not sure. Turning the lights out worked well enough to stop the
    > > fight (not too many flesh-and-blood people can fight well in the dark),
    > > but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have a backup, just in case.
    >
    >I still like the image I had when Kasumi suggested we offer them for
    >sale. It was just after you kicked the SOS-dan out, so I pictured them
    >stuck to a wall with you laughing manically to the side.
    

A.C, you've obviously forgotten what it means to be male. I've seen enough OGJ doujinshi to know that, if Suzumiya, Asahina, and Nagato were stuck to a wall, their captor wouldn't be laughing manically...

Although, once I get past *that* mental image, I can see the humor in your idea.

<snip >

 
    
    
    > > > > > Unfortunately true, but still. Too bad we're
    > > > > > so busy, or I'd offer some upgrades to match Kasumi and Lebia
    > > > > > (Greenpeace is too biological, and I doubt they want to match Andy).
    > > > >
    > > > > Thanks, but I'm not sure your upgrades would mesh with the upgrades
    > > > > Skuld gave Sora and Yayoi. (Including more Honey than I would have
    > > > > thought wise... or possible. They're never going to forget anything
    > > > > again unless they want to. Mal, you might want to keep that in mind...)
    > > >
    > > > Given that I haven't forgotten anything since the Accident, and can't
    > > > forget, I think I'm a tad envious.
    > >
    > > Some people would kill to have your problem. Then they'd wish they were
    > > dead, because of the perfect recall. I don't want that trap, and you
    > > have my sympathies.
    >
    >You're being nicer than normal to me throughout this email. One could
    >think you have an ulterior motive. But thanks anyway.
    

You should know me by now, A.C. - I *always* have an ulterior motive. Since it involves the database, I'll tell you what it is at Serenity-Con.
    
    
    >Sometimes... Sometimes, it can be a joy like no other to have the sort
    >of recall I have. Others... Well, let's just say I don't particularly
    >like horror films any more.
    

I never much cared for horror films, myself. Fictional monsters pale beside the Turnerites and their ilk.
    
    
    >Most of the time, its damn annoying. Especially with my reaction times
    >and enhanced senses.
    >
    > > > Anyway, I was thinking updating the bio-mimetics, adding a self-repair
    > > > system, and maybe fixing their eyesight in-between general servicing
    > > > and whatever they wanted doing. Not sure what else Skuld would have
    > > > offered that wouldn't need extensive re-work and parts.
    > >
    > > Yayoi says she likes herself the way she is, glasses and all. I'm not
    > > sure about Sora and Kohran; make the offer and see how they react.
    >
    >I was just offering to fix their eyesight so they wouldn't NEED
    >glasses. I'm not suggesting they get RID of them. I must admit I'm
    >curious to see how they'd look without them. They look lovely with
    >them, I'm certain they'd look lovely without them.
    

I honestly can't picture any of my angels without their glasses. (Which may be important - I'm sure it's no coincidence that they all wear glasses, and those other bodies I couldn't get to wake up don't.)

 
    
    
    > > (And I thought we installed a self-repair system in each of the angels
    > > when we built them. Unless you're talking about self-healing skin...)
    >
    >THIS one will heal skin at about half the rate a normal human would,
    >yes. They'll need the bio-mimetics upgrade for that though. It'll also
    >pretty much eliminate the need for mechanical or electrical
    >maintenance. The girls would only need to do a yoga routine once a week
    >to keep themselves in shape (so to speak), and a twice yearly check up.
    

Even Yayoi might go for that. As I said, make the offer to them.

 
    
    
    > > > > Yes, the upgrades are included in the module. You sure you don't want a
    > > > > copy?
    > > >
    > > > I'll be a good girl, and wait for my copy.
    > >
    > > You won't have to wait for too long - your copy is already burned to a
    > > set of ultra-violet-ray discs. So is Mal's. (What's giving me conniptions
    > > is trying to figure out what the Professor could use right away...)
    >
    >How much theoretical stuff is on there? Throw him some medical tech and
    >some manufacturing tech and some promising theory and he'll probably be
    >happy for a while.
    

There's *lots* of theoretical stuff there. Thanks.

  
A.C., #2:
    
    
    > > Honestly, this stuff's a gold mine - if we apply it properly, it could
    > > be as big a social revolution as handwavium was. So I want it backed up
    > > in multiple locations.
    > >
    > > (If we apply it improperly, it could be as big a social disruption as
    > > handwavium was. I'm a bit nervous about that.)
    >
    >So. Same old, same old eh?
    

Yep. But I'd rather be known as "The first man to build a space hotel", not "the man who single-handedly destroyed the _____ industry". And with what's in the database, there's more than one way to fill in that blank.

 
    
    
    > > > Radiation shielding's not a big thing, all I need is a couple cubic
    > > > meters of rock as a vault, and if there's one thing we've got a lot of,
    > > > it's rock.
    > >
    > > Oh, yeah - planetary surfaces. I remember living on one of those, years
    > > ago...
    >
    >Fred's willing to rent out a nice beach house down in Oz if you want.
    

I might take him up on that in a year or two. I'm too busy right now.

<snip >

 
    
    
    > > Seriously, I'll probably just bring a couple of pompom grenades that
    > > Katz gave me. What's a brawl without cheerleaders, after all?
    >
    >A brawl *with* cheerleaders is usually called sport.
    

Oz-Rules Football, anyone?

  
Mal:
    
    
    > > > I see. I'd still recommend Azkaban over an outsystem backup,
    > > > because that chunk of ice will survive the Sun going nova, plus it
    > > > keeps the module away from randoms who might stumble across it.
    > > > However, if you're adamant on doing this then I probably can't
    > > > dissuade you, so what the hell.
    > >
    > > Honestly, this stuff's a gold mine - if we apply it properly, it
    > > could be as big a social revolution as handwavium was. So I want it
    > > backed up in multiple locations.
    >
    >Well, that could be exciting, I suppose.
    >
    > > (If we apply it improperly, it could be as big a social disruption as
    > > handwavium was. I'm a bit nervous about that.)
    >
    >Pfft, disruptions always happen. If it's not this, it'll be Greenland
    >sliding into the Atlantic next week or some other damn thing. Buy the
    >ticket, take the ride.
    

I hear what you're saying. I just don't want to throw *too* many people out of work at once - that's bad for the tourism business, and I do own a hotel.

 
    
    
    > > (And if the Boskonians turn it into weaponry... yuck. I'm glad you're
    > > taking my little girl out of the line of fire for a few months.)
    >
    >I personally am not worried about weaponry, because frankly if Boskone
    >was better at it than we are, they'd have already won. Let the
    >honorless weaselfuckers come ahead, we'll beat the shit out of them
    >every time.
    

We should put that on a T-shirt and sell them at Serenity-Con. It'd be a morale booster for the troops.

 
    
    
    > > > Radiation shielding's not a big thing, all I need is a couple cubic
    > > > meters of rock as a vault, and if there's one thing we've got a
    > > > lot of, it's rock.
    > >
    > > Oh, yeah - planetary surfaces. I remember living on one of those,
    > > years ago...
    >
    >Not even that, just one chunk of grade-A interplanetary rock about a
    >meter across provides as much radiation shielding as fifty miles of
    >atmosphere. Haven't you ever been to Alpha? They've got the entire city
    >done up like that; s' brilliant use of available resources. Okay, so
    >you don't get the vistas you get with the Dome, but still.
    

I was there once - it's too claustrophobic for my tastes. Although if you ever get invited to "Manny O'Kelly's Bar and Grill" on D Level, accept; they've got a damn good chef.

 
    
    
    > > > > And I'm not? (Then again, my "angels" look human.)
    > > >
    > > > Tell you what. If Sora ever invites you to come vist Hangar One,
    > > > take her up on the offer and then get back to me on that one.
    > >
    > > I'll be sure to bring a camera that your security folks can
    > > confiscate... and another, hidden, camera. We'll see how good your
    > > secops are.
    >
    >*snrk* You can take as many pictures of the Hole as you want. Take the
    >pictures, sell 'em to the Illuminator, hell put up a Myspace page with
    >them - nobody will ever fucking *believe* you no matter how much
    >photographic evidence you have. "L'audace, l'audace, toujours l'audace"
    >isn't just a neat thing to say in French, we've adopted it as EXFOR
    >OPSEC protocol and raised it to a fucking *art form*.
    >
    >Of course, audacity only goes so far; if you were to try and *start*
    >something, well... GLaDOS is always looking for new lab rats. Hope you
    >like cake.
    

The cake is a lie, right?

 
    
    
    > > > I gotta admit, what's *really* funny is watching the two of you
    > > > freak out about this when the odds are better than even nothing's
    > > > going to happen. Look, like any good act of violence it'll happen
    > > > if it happens. Most likely it won't, which means you'll be carrying
    > > > all that riot gear for no good reason. And if it *does* happen,
    > > > it'll be over before you get a chance to use it. So relax and enjoy
    > > > the sideshow.
    > >
    > > So I shouldn't bring along my new H&K MP5K SMG, just in case?
    >
    >Overkill. Only the bartender is allowed to have heavy weaponry.
    

<pout > Okay, okay - just the pompom grenades, then.
    
    
    > > Mal, please go back and read what you've written. Then bang your head
    > > against a safe, solid surface 10 times for jinxing us.
    >
    >Leave your bourgeois superstitions at the door. You're rolling with the
    >Soviets.
    

"In Soviet Russia, trouble goes looking for you."

Noah

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013
    
    
    > > > Ask Commissioner Russell directly - he knows what he needs better than I
    > > > do. (Oh, yeah - Towne's hired a Commissionner for the Space Patrol.
    > > > Trekkie combat veteran, name of Kirk Russell. Yes, *that* Kirk Russell.
    > > > I thought he was dead, too.)
    > >
    > > *Piku-piku*
    > > ...Damn, who's his tailor? Last I heard he took some serious shrapnel
    > > last time out and was looking at needing some serious work done if he
    > > survived. Although I did hear about an experiment with TOO MUCH
    > > quick-heal about then...
    >
    > That *would* explain the boyish good looks, and the snake tattoo. I
    > wonder if he actually did get a biomod...
    

Depends if it worked or not. Either way, I haven't heard anything about it. And I'm part of the Quick-Heal consortium.
    
    
    > > > And I'm not sure I'd arm the civilian version... but I'm relatively safe
    > > > back here in cislunar space, not up on the front lines like you. You're
    > > > the person on the spot; you know best.
    > >
    > > Yeah well, it's better safe than sorry out here in the Belt. Raids are
    > > picking up as well, so every little helps you know?
    >
    > Shit. Nobody tells me anything any more. If you all need a place to
    > relax for a week or two away from the front, I can find you a suite in
    > my hotel.
    

Got to finish the security upgrades. Eddie's not quite got his Rail Cannon working yet, but he DID get the Spatial Missiles running. THOSE will stop most things.
    
    
    > > I still like the image I had when Kasumi suggested we offer them for
    > > sale. It was just after you kicked the SOS-dan out, so I pictured them
    > > stuck to a wall with you laughing manically to the side.
    >
    > A.C, you've obviously forgotten what it means to be male. I've seen
    > enough OGJ doujinshi to know that, if Suzumiya, Asahina, and Nagato were
    > stuck to a wall, their captor wouldn't be laughing manically...
    >
    > Although, once I get past *that* mental image, I can see the humor in
    > your idea.
    

Naughty Noah. I'm more worried about doujinshi about ME thanks. For all the clones in the army, some of them are crazy (Greenpeace particularly likes the one where I apparently provide practical lessons in seduction to your girls.)
    
    
    > > You're being nicer than normal to me throughout this email. One could
    > > think you have an ulterior motive. But thanks anyway.
    >
    > You should know me by now, A.C. - I *always* have an ulterior motive.
    > Since it involves the database, I'll tell you what it is at Serenity-Con.
    

OK, fine.
    
    
    > > I was just offering to fix their eyesight so they wouldn't NEED
    > > glasses. I'm not suggesting they get RID of them. I must admit I'm
    > > curious to see how they'd look without them. They look lovely with
    > > them, I'm certain they'd look lovely without them.
    >
    > I honestly can't picture any of my angels without their glasses. (Which
    > may be important - I'm sure it's no coincidence that they all wear
    > glasses, and those other bodies I couldn't get to wake up don't.)
    

I've always found visualisation of the concept to be the most important part of 'waving something. So yes, it's probably no coincidence. Again, I'd come help if I had the time.
    
    
    > > > (And I thought we installed a self-repair system in each of the angels
    > > > when we built them. Unless you're talking about self-healing skin...)
    > >
    > > THIS one will heal skin at about half the rate a normal human would,
    > > yes. They'll need the bio-mimetics upgrade for that though. It'll also
    > > pretty much eliminate the need for mechanical or electrical
    > > maintenance. The girls would only need to do a yoga routine once a week
    > > to keep themselves in shape (so to speak), and a twice yearly check up.
    >
    > Even Yayoi might go for that. As I said, make the offer to them.
    

I'll do that. Does Sora still have access to her Stellvia account or do I have to ask Mal for her new address?

<snip >

Noah to Mal:
    
    
    > > > (And if the Boskonians turn it into weaponry... yuck. I'm glad you're
    > > > taking my little girl out of the line of fire for a few months.)
    > >
    > > I personally am not worried about weaponry, because frankly if Boskone
    > > was better at it than we are, they'd have already won. Let the
    > > honorless weaselfuckers come ahead, we'll beat the shit out of them
    > > every time.
    >
    > We should put that on a T-shirt and sell them at Serenity-Con. It'd be a
    > morale booster for the troops.
    

It's been YEARS since I last wore a T-shirt. With my biomod, I'm either asked if I'm in a wet T-shirt contest or I spend my time avoiding spilt drinks. <sarcasm > You wouldn't BELIEVE how clumsy some people would get. </sarcasm >

And don't get me started on a nice loose pair of cargos...

<snip >
    
    
    > > > > I gotta admit, what's *really* funny is watching the two of you
    > > > > freak out about this when the odds are better than even nothing's
    > > > > going to happen. Look, like any good act of violence it'll happen
    > > > > if it happens. Most likely it won't, which means you'll be carrying
    > > > > all that riot gear for no good reason. And if it *does* happen,
    > > > > it'll be over before you get a chance to use it. So relax and enjoy
    > > > > the sideshow.
    > > >
    > > > So I shouldn't bring along my new H&K MP5K SMG, just in case?
    > >
    > > Overkill. Only the bartender is allowed to have heavy weaponry.
    

Unless you have a Double 0 licence.
    
    
    > <pout > Okay, okay - just the pompom grenades, then.
    

An interesting thing about Mellow grenades and drunk people, it tends to have the victims buy you drinks.
    
    
    > > > Mal, please go back and read what you've written. Then bang your head
    > > > against a safe, solid surface 10 times for jinxing us.
    > >
    > > Leave your bourgeois superstitions at the door. You're rolling with the
    > > Soviets.
    >
    > "In Soviet Russia, trouble goes looking for you."
    

So I should have a team of Tachikomas ready as backup?

* * *

**From:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013

<snip >
    
    
    >Naughty Noah. I'm more worried about doujinshi about ME thanks. For
    >all the clones in the army, some of them are crazy (Greenpeace
    >particularly likes the one where I apparently provide practical lessons
    >in seduction to your girls.)
    

I never saw *that* one... The Greenpeace/Yayoi ones, however, get scanned and delivered to Yayoi like clockwork, and she cc's them to me. Are you getting those? (Knowing Greenpeace, I assume she shares her doujinshi with you.)

And do you think we should print some off for Mal?

<snip >
    
    
    > > Even Yayoi might go for that. As I said, make the offer to them.
    >
    >I'll do that. Does Sora still have access to her Stellvia account or do
    >I have to ask Mal for her new address?
    

Sora's still got her Stellvia account.

<snip >
    
    
    > > > I personally am not worried about weaponry, because frankly if Boskone
    > > > was better at it than we are, they'd have already won. Let the
    > > > honorless weaselfuckers come ahead, we'll beat the shit out of them
    > > > every time.
    > >
    > > We should put that on a T-shirt and sell them at Serenity-Con. It'd be a
    > > morale booster for the troops.
    >
    >It's been YEARS since I last wore a T-shirt. With my biomod, I'm either
    >asked if I'm in a wet T-shirt contest or I spend my time avoiding spilt
    >drinks. <sarcasm > You wouldn't BELIEVE how clumsy some people would
    >get. </sarcasm >
    

Note to self - one tight sweater with the slogan, for A.C.

Noah

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013
    
    
    > > Naughty Noah. I'm more worried about doujinshi about ME thanks. For
    > > all the clones in the army, some of them are crazy (Greenpeace
    > > particularly likes the one where I apparently provide practical lessons
    > > in seduction to your girls.)
    >
    > I never saw *that* one... The Greenpeace/Yayoi ones, however, get
    > scanned and delivered to Yayoi like clockwork, and she cc's them to me.
    > Are you getting those? (Knowing Greenpeace, I assume she shares her
    > doujinshi with you.)
    

Yes, she does. For some reason I get the impression she'd hinting at something. I can't imagine why.

Anyway, because the Squid drones need shonnen ai to work Leonard put together an agent to surf the Wavenet. And is typical of him, it has a degree of overkill where he got distracted/inspired. We now have a list for every type of doujinshi under the Sun (and some that should never have seen the light of the deepest pits of Hell), and at least some of the locations where they can be found.

(Did you know there were Trigon/Hermes doujinshi? I didn't.)
    
    
    > And do you think we should print some off for Mal?
    

I'm sure Mal's a big boy, and can get them himself. Only Mal? Be careful when you look. You might run into one involving a three-way yaoi tryst between you, Noah, and the Professor. (You think I'm joking? I wish I was. *Shudder*)
    
    
    > > > Even Yayoi might go for that. As I said, make the offer to them.
    > >
    > > I'll do that. Does Sora still have access to her Stellvia account or do
    > > I have to ask Mal for her new address?
    >
    > Sora's still got her Stellvia account.
    

Righty-Oh. Sent, but I've told them it'll take a week all told (mainly to do all the fiddly bits). I've also told them the offer is always open, so they can both think on it and take their time. So you don't have to worry about Sora disappearing on you for a week in the near future Mal.
    
    
    > > > > I personally am not worried about weaponry, because frankly if Boskone
    > > > > was better at it than we are, they'd have already won. Let the
    > > > > honorless weaselfuckers come ahead, we'll beat the shit out of them
    > > > > every time.
    > > >
    > > > We should put that on a T-shirt and sell them at Serenity-Con. It'd be a
    > > > morale booster for the troops.
    > >
    > > It's been YEARS since I last wore a T-shirt. With my biomod, I'm either
    > > asked if I'm in a wet T-shirt contest or I spend my time avoiding spilt
    > > drinks. <sarcasm > You wouldn't BELIEVE how clumsy some people would
    > > get. </sarcasm >
    >
    > Note to self - one tight sweater with the slogan, for A.C.
    

I'm not pulling the sexy teacher routine Noah, so forget it.

* * *

**From:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib)  
 **To:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013
    
    
    > > > Naughty Noah. I'm more worried about doujinshi about ME thanks. For
    > > > all the clones in the army, some of them are crazy (Greenpeace
    > > > particularly likes the one where I apparently provide practical lessons
    > > > in seduction to your girls.)
    > >
    > > I never saw *that* one... The Greenpeace/Yayoi ones, however, get
    > > scanned and delivered to Yayoi like clockwork, and she cc's them to me.
    > > Are you getting those? (Knowing Greenpeace, I assume she shares her
    > > doujinshi with you.)
    >
    >Yes, she does. For some reason I get the impression she'd hinting at
    >something. I can't imagine why.
    

Neither can I. By the way, Yayoi wants to know whether Greenpeace is coming to Mal's party.

 
    
    
    >Anyway, because the Squid drones need shonnen ai to work Leonard put
    >together an agent to surf the Wavenet. And is typical of him, it has a
    >degree of overkill where he got distracted/inspired. We now have a list
    >for every type of doujinshi under the Sun (and some that should never
    >have seen the light of the deepest pits of Hell), and at least some of
    >the locations where they can be found.
    >
    >(Did you know there were Trigon/Hermes doujinshi? I didn't.)
    

I've seen at two volumes of the "Wanna Interface?" series with that pairing. Did you know there's at least one volume of the same series with an Eddie/Fate/Galvius three-way? (Or should that be five-way?) The logistics of that story were convoluted, to say the least.

(I visited Candy Apple Red's once, when I had to decide whether to allow publicized runs there from Stellvia. I'm not the type to patronize their services. They have a library. You do the math.)

 
    
    
    > > And do you think we should print some off for Mal?
    >
    >I'm sure Mal's a big boy, and can get them himself. Only Mal? Be
    >careful when you look. You might run into one involving a three-way
    >yaoi tryst between you, Noah, and the Professor. (You think I'm joking?
    >I wish I was. *Shudder*)
    

Oh, yuck... With my build, I assume that was a horror doujin. Then again, considering how whoever-it-is draws me in the Great Justice doujinshi series "You Know What You Doing", maybe they just don't know what I really look like.

(Yes, I have all of those issues. Mikuru and I laughed so hard over issue #23, and not just because 65% of what they said we did is physically impossible even in zero-g... Ah, those were the days.)

<snip >
    
    
    > > > > > I personally am not worried about weaponry, because frankly if Boskone
    > > > > > was better at it than we are, they'd have already won. Let the
    > > > > > honorless weaselfuckers come ahead, we'll beat the shit out of them
    > > > > > every time.
    > > > >
    > > > > We should put that on a T-shirt and sell them at Serenity-Con. It'd be a
    > > > > morale booster for the troops.
    > > >
    > > > It's been YEARS since I last wore a T-shirt. With my biomod, I'm either
    > > > asked if I'm in a wet T-shirt contest or I spend my time avoiding spilt
    > > > drinks. You wouldn't BELIEVE how clumsy some people would
    > > > get.
    > >
    > > Note to self - one tight sweater with the slogan, for A.C.
    >
    >I'm not pulling the sexy teacher routine Noah, so forget it.
    

Drat. Better not look at the latest issue of the "Miracles of Handwavium" doujinshi series, then...

(By the way, how did this devolve into a "Rule 34" discussion so quickly?)

  
Noah

* * *

**From:** A.C. Peters (rock_doc@prometheus_forge.fen)  
 **To:** Noah Scott (bigcheese@stellvia.lib), Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (23@globalfrequency.fen)  
 **Subject:** Re: Listening to the birds...  
 **Date:** Mon July 15th 2013
    
    
    > > > > Naughty Noah. I'm more worried about doujinshi about ME thanks. For
    > > > > all the clones in the army, some of them are crazy (Greenpeace
    > > > > particularly likes the one where I apparently provide practical lessons
    > > > > in seduction to your girls.)
    > > >
    > > > I never saw *that* one... The Greenpeace/Yayoi ones, however, get
    > > > scanned and delivered to Yayoi like clockwork, and she cc's them to me.
    > > > Are you getting those? (Knowing Greenpeace, I assume she shares her
    > > > doujinshi with you.)
    > >
    > > Yes, she does. For some reason I get the impression she'd hinting at
    > > something. I can't imagine why.
    >
    > Neither can I. By the way, Yayoi wants to know whether Greenpeace is
    > coming to Mal's party.
    

Well, I was going to bring Andy and a bottle of his best whiskey for Mal to take with him. But Greenpeace has him wrapped around her fingers, so that's a yes.
    
    
    > > Anyway, because the Squid drones need shonnen ai to work Leonard put
    > > together an agent to surf the Wavenet. And is typical of him, it has a
    > > degree of overkill where he got distracted/inspired. We now have a list
    > > for every type of doujinshi under the Sun (and some that should never
    > > have seen the light of the deepest pits of Hell), and at least some of
    > > the locations where they can be found.
    > >
    > > (Did you know there were Trigon/Hermes doujinshi? I didn't.)
    >
    > I've seen at two volumes of the "Wanna Interface?" series with that
    > pairing. Did you know there's at least one volume of the same series
    > with an Eddie/Fate/Galvius three-way? (Or should that be five-way?) The
    > logistics of that story were convoluted, to say the least.
    

Especially because Eddie doesn't have an anthropomorphic icon design. But one with him already exists? Geeze, he's only been Awake for three months.
    
    
    > (I visited Candy Apple Red's once, when I had to decide whether to allow
    > publicized runs there from Stellvia. I'm not the type to patronize their
    > services. They have a library. You do the math.)
    

I'll have to ask if they liked that copy of the Zero-G Karma Sutra I got for them. (It was Kasumi's idea. And no, it's not what you think. Absinthe had a slight skin problem, and they called me because of Greenpeace. Easy enough to sort out in the end.)
    
    
    > > > And do you think we should print some off for Mal?
    > >
    > > I'm sure Mal's a big boy, and can get them himself. Only Mal? Be
    > > careful when you look. You might run into one involving a three-way
    > > yaoi tryst between you, Noah, and the Professor. (You think I'm joking?
    > > I wish I was. *Shudder*)
    >
    > Oh, yuck... With my build, I assume that was a horror doujin. Then
    > again, considering how whoever-it-is draws me in the Great Justice
    > doujinshi series "You Know What You Doing", maybe they just don't know
    > what I really look like.
    

Not really. But still... *Shudder* Damn my memory.
    
    
    > (Yes, I have all of those issues. Mikuru and I laughed so hard over
    > issue #23, and not just because 65% of what they said we did is
    > physically impossible even in zero-g... Ah, those were the days.)
    

Better than 'Moonlit Angels' #17. The only reason that series is still ongoing is because the Professor knocked himself out laughing. Me, well lets just say I've got some new whip tricks.
    
    
    > > > > Note to self - one tight sweater with the slogan, for A.C.
    > > >
    > > > I'm not pulling the sexy teacher routine Noah, so forget it.
    > >
    > > Drat. Better not look at the latest issue of the "Miracles of
    > > Handwavium" doujinshi series, then...
    

*looks up*

Oh not again. I always get a surge in Mars-fen requests after one of these types.
    
    
    > (By the way, how did this devolve into a "Rule 34" discussion so
    > quickly?)
    

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

Anyway, see you on Friday.


End file.
